Anna and the King
by The Author's Mighty Pen
Summary: Anna Smith, with her son James, has been hired to instruct the children living on the estate of Lord Wuthering in Bombay.
1. Prologue: Far Away

_My mother always said, "Anna, never burn a bridge because you never know when you may need to use it to cross somewhere again."_

 _She was right._

 _I always thought myself no more than a nobody but the friends you make can surprise you. When I first started teaching at the school it was nothing more than a few village children who needed basic mathematics and reading. I gave them what I could, trying my best to stay ahead of the brighter ones, but eventually I realized I needed more help._

 _We took on another teacher, a man. It was unusual since most men worked in the fields but he came highly recommended and Lord Grantham thought he was the best choice to fill the needed positions. We struck up a kind of friendship. It was congenial and necessary since we worked in such close quarters with one another. But, at the end of the day, I only saw him as my friend._

 _He saw me as something more._

 _I try to forget the details of what happened that night. He was drunk, I remember that, and sometimes I can still smell it in my shadowy nightmares when I am not careful. I still remember the feeling of powerlessness at it all. And I feel conflicted when I remember the joy I felt hearing he had stumbled on the train platform and been crushed under its wheels._

 _I thought it was over. Thought maybe there was nothing more to it than a bad memory. But when my stomach grew, when my monthlies stopped, when I could feel the change in my body growing another inside me I knew it was not over._

 _Lord Grantham, feeling some kind of horrible guilt for what was not his fault, took it upon himself to help me. He had a friend, living in India, who needed an instructor for his children. I had the proper qualifications and I needed a place far away from where I was. We agreed, I needed to be somewhere no one would know my story. Where no one would judge me for what happened. Where no one would look twice at my son._

 _That is why I boarded a boat. I took my son, still learning to speak English, across the world. I risked death, disease, and destitution… while still on a boat, to find a better life for us. To give him a better life._

 _Some might ask why I kept him, Why James is still in my life… the only answer I can give is that what happened was not his fault. And, in my more selfish moments as I comb back his darker hair when his eyes that mirror mine are shut in sleep, I realize that I kept him because without him I would always be alone._

 _No one wants a woman who brings another man's son with her._

 _So there we were, my son holding tightly to my hand while the porter loaded our meager belongings into a rickshaw, looking on a world so far from our own. A world where no one looks twice at us except for our skin. A world where we could start anew and pretend who we were before is no longer who we will ever be again._

 _A place far away from everything I ever knew… but I like it better that way._


	2. New Adventure

The first thing anyone could feel was the heat. It was almost like a weight on the chest, restricting the expansion of her lungs. She held tight to James's hand, though he fought valiantly to escape her hold, and for a moment the sweat there almost granted him freedom.

But she bent and scooped him into her arms, keeping her grip under his rear as she put her hand on her hat to hold it in place as the wind picked up. The porter managing her few bags helped her into a rickshaw and told the driver the address. She handed over the few coins in her purse to the porter.

He thanked her, repeating his instructions to the driver, and went back to the boat. Anna secured her arm around James's stomach to keep him in place as the rickshaw moved. His attempts to leap out of their transport toward any of a number of fascinating attractions on the roadside had Anna tightening her grip on her young son.

"You've got to stay in here." She chided him, tickling at the giggling boy until he squirmed in her grip. "If not you'll be lost and I'll have no idea how to find you."

He only squealed and tried to escape her again. Anna sighed, holding him tight to her despite the oppressive heat, and sat back against the bumping rickshaw. The colors, the smells, and the heat all mixed in an overwhelming taxation on her senses.

The driver pulled to a stop just outside the cities at the gates of a large enclosure. Anna sat forward, taking the man's offered hand, and descending the rickshaw before grabbing James in the middle of another attempted escape. She held up a finger to the driver before raising a hand to knock at the gates.

Before her knuckles could rap on the metal the doors opened inward and Anna found herself face-to-face with the most imposing eyebrows she had ever seen, set over a large nose and chin that worked to inspect her rather disparagingly. The bass timbre of the man's voice came with the disapproving noise set deep in his throat. She swallowed, trying to shift James more comfortably on her hip.

"I'm here to see Lord Wuthering."

"We don't feed beggars here."

"I think you misunderstand me," Anna put a hand out on the door to prevent him closing it. "I'm here to act as tutor for the estate."

"Tutor for the estate."

"Yes!" Both turned to see a woman hurrying over, a paper clutched in her grip. "I'm so sorry I wasn't at the dock to meet you but we've had a little catastrophe in the kitchen this morning and fires must always be put out. Figurative and literal."

"Indeed they must, Mrs. Hughes, but if there's to be another body on this estate why was I not informed?"

"Because, Mr. Carson, she's not your prerogative." Mrs. Hughes smiled at Anna, "She's mine. As is her child, Master James if I'm not mistaken."

"It's just James." Anna corrected, putting him on his own feet. But all of James's earlier curiosity was lost in the sight of two strangers and he clung to his mother's dress. "He's shy."

"It's no wonder. Coming all the way from home to a new place." Mrs. Hughes's Scottish trill had James peeking at her while the woman crouched. "I'll bet you're an explorer aren't you?"

"More than I find comfortable," Anna agreed, running her fingers through James's hair. "But I hope he'll have a lot of places here to run and play."

"Lord Wuthering insists on the children of the estate taking their energy to the out of doors as often as possible." Mr. Carson's voice brought Anna to his attention, "He believes that children need exercise."

"He's not wrong. I always found it settled the children for afternoon studies if they took time at lunch to stretch themselves."

"Then you'll fit right in here." Mrs. Hughes extended a hand to James and he turned to his mother for reassurance before taking it. "I'll just show you to your rooms and Mr. Carson here'll deal with the driver to have your things brought behind you."

The widening of Mr. Carson's eyes but failure to speak illustrated his insult at the command but his obligation to obey. Anna took James's other hand and followed Mrs. Hughes through the lovely garden toward the large house. After a few moments Anna risked a look over her shoulder to see Mr. Carson arguing with the driver.

"I seem to have overly upset the butler."

"He'll be fine. He likes a fuss to make himself feel better but it's nothing he won't get over." Mrs. Hughes guided them around the house. "We've got a lovely little house for you and Master James to share near the rooms you'll be using for school."

"That's very kind." Anna rocked James's hand, "Isn't that lovely James?"

He nodded and Mrs. Hughes smiled. "He's got a right lovely set of manners."

"They're hard come by."

Mrs. Hughes bit her lip before speaking again. "I don't know if you wanted this known but Lord Wuthering informed me as to the particulars of your being here." Anna stopped but Mrs. Hughes put a hand on her arm. "It's nothing to worry over. Only Lord Wuthering and I know and I won't tell a soul. He only informed me of your circumstances so I could prepare accordingly."

"And Lord Wuthering?"

"Half the children on this estate were abandoned by their mothers and fathers for the purpose of escaping shame, in one way or another." Mrs. Hughes squeezed James's hand. "Master James here won't be out of place with any of them."

"Why do you call him 'Master James'?"

"Gives all the children equality in his house. Those from the streets, the orphans, the illegitimate, and the abandoned, with the children of lords and ladies of the area who stay while their parents work the duty of the Queen in India."

"Then I'll be teaching all ages?"

"Between you and Mrs. Harding I suspect you could find a division of the students between the two of you."

Anna frowned, "I was told I was the only teacher."

"When we initially informed Lord Grantham we had a need of one we weren't aware that Mrs. Harding had intentions of returning to her post here after she and Mr. Harding married." Mrs. Hughes smiled at Anna, "But we're so glad she did stay. She's an excellent teacher and very good with the children."

"If that's the case then why hire me at all?"

"Because the numbers are getting to the point where Mrs. Harding can't manage all of them on her own any longer."

"Is Lord Wuthering so kind that he brings all these children to his care?"

"Lord Wuthering is a great many things." Mrs. Hughes pulled a key off a ring on her belt and used it to open the door on a small house. "Kind and generous are but two of them."

Anna followed Mrs. Hughes into the house and gaped at the splendor of the rooms. She let go of James's hand and he dashed away through the rooms. Turning back to Mrs. Hughes, Anna shook her head.

"This is far more than we deserve."

"This is what Lord Wuthering believes a teacher deserves." Mrs. Hughes showed her the rooms. "This is your drawing room and parlor in one. Your kitchen is through there though the estate keeps a cook here for all three meals."

"What is the etiquette for it?"

"Lord Wuthering requests you come to dinner with him every night and whatever guests he has staying. He insists on the Hardings always keeping table with him and there are always visiting guests from the Embassy or other government offices here so you'll never be alone."

"And James?"

"He'll take meals with the children of the estate or with you here in your home if you wish." Mrs. Hughes backed out of the way as James pelted through the parlor, giggling as he went. "He's got no end of energy."

"He'll calm a bit once he's run another lap." Anna pointed to another room, "Are the bedrooms through here?"

"There's one for Master James here," Mrs. Hughes opened the door and pointed inside. "The toys are second hand from some of the older children but chosen with care."

"He won't mind. All his toys have been second-hand." Anna toured the room, smiling at it. "This is beyond generous."

"It's no less than any of the other estate children." Mrs. Hughes opened an adjoining door, "And this door leads to your room."

Anna passed into her room, noting the mosquito net over he bed that matched the one over her son's bed. "He's never had his own room before."

"Some of the younger children have similar concerns when they first come so we keep something of an open door policy until they want to be alone." Mrs. Hughes pointed to the bureau and the wardrobe. "I don't know how many clothes you brought but you certainly won't need any of your winter wear here. It never gets cold enough to justify it."

"We didn't have much to bring. Books mostly." Anna opened the wardrobe and the drawers of the bureau before nodding. "These are beyond all my expectations."

"Is it rather more humble where you lived before?"

"A bit." Anna laughed a little, "Our old home could've fit in the parlor with room to spare."

"Big changes are easier than small ones, according to Francis Bacon."

"He's not wrong." Anna opened the other door from her bedroom and caught James as his sprint through the house slowed to a halting jog. "We moved all the way here to start a new life and I think we'll adapt well."

She knelt down, her hands under the armpits of her son, now breathing hard with a dash of red to his cheeks. "What do you think James? Do you like it here?" He nodded, gasping and smiling at his mother. "Alright, then we're staying. This is our new home James."

Anna picked James up, walking out their front door to view the estate from the covered porch on their little house. "We're going to be very happy here."

"I do hope so Ms. Smith." Mrs. Hughes joined them, "Because I believe we're going to enjoy having Master James running around with the other children and you to care for them."

"I'm ready for that adventure." Anna managed a glimmer of a smile at Mrs. Hughes before looking at the large house, practically a palace, before her eyes. "At least I hope I am."


	3. First Meetings Can Be Deceiving

Anna shook her head at herself in the mirror, adjusting the ties at her waist. "It's been far too long since Mummy wore a dress like this hasn't it?" James pulled at the skirt and Anna giggled with him before removing his hands, crouching down to look him in the eye. "Do you remember what Mummy always says?"

"Yes."

"What is it then?"

"We have…" James blinked, "All this by…"

"The grace of God." Anna guided and James nodded.

"All by the grace of God."

"That's right." Anna put a hand on the back of his neck, kissing his forehead, "Do you promise to be good for Mrs. Hughes and Mrs. Patmore?"

"Yes."

"Remember, they're very kind to make supper for us and we need to be on our best behavior. Can you do that?" He nodded enthusiastically and Anna kissed his cheeks. "Good boy. Now give us a kiss."

James snuck one onto her cheek before running away, giggling, toward the door as someone knocked on it. Anna stood, pushing her hands down the dress to stroke the fabric. She took a deep breath and headed toward the door.

Mrs. Hughes stood by the door while a man crouched before James. They talked animatedly, the man's eyes bright, and James ran to the corner of the room to pull out a toy to show the man. Anna opened her mouth slightly, turning to Mrs. Hughes with the unspoken question.

"This is Lord Wuthering, Miss Smith." Mrs. Hughes pointed to the man as he stood, handing the toy back to James before extending his hand to Anna. "He wanted to meet you before bringing you to a dinner with more strangers."

"That's very kind of you." Anna took his hand, meeting his eyes and feeling the breath catch in her throat. "In fact, James and I've been overwhelmed by the level of kindness that we've received from your Lordship."

"It's not everyday that a qualified teacher is willing to come across the world to instruct children from any number of backgrounds and that deserves all the care and consideration I can manage." He pulled her hand to his mouth, kissing her knuckles before releasing her hand. "I do hope the house is to your satisfaction."

"It's more than I was expecting and far more extravagant than James or I are used to." Anna took a deep breath, "For all the words I have I don't have enough to express the depth of gratitude I have given what you've already provided for us here."

"It's no less than you deserve." Lord Wuthering bent down, making a face at James, "And our estate is all the better for having James here with us."

"He's excited to see the elephants I think." Anna took James's hand and led him to Mrs. Hughes. "And now, you're going to dinner with Mrs. Hughes and I'll kiss you goodnight before you're in bed."

"Yes Mummy."

Anna kissed his head and stood, "I guess anymore goodbyes and I'll exhaust him with kisses."

"Not the worst thing a mother can do for her son." Mrs. Hughes took James's hand, "Now, we've got some choices for you at supper so there's no limit except to your imagination."

"You've no worries there." Anna waved James off as he followed Mrs. Hughes toward the back of the main house.

"He looks like you." Anna turned to Lord Wuthering. "He's got your eyes and your smile, which are wonderful things to have if you don't mind the impertinence."

"I don't mind and I'm glad you can see those in him." Anna tried to smile but it only stretched her mouth slightly. "So often I look at him and I only see his father."

Lord Wuthering sucked the inside of his cheek. "I hope you don't mind that I informed Mrs. Hughes as to the details of your necessity in coming here."

"I find it's easier to manage when I'm not hiding the reality of my situation." Anna took a deep breath, "But she only knows broad strokes and I'm curious as to how much Lord Grantham told you about my situation."

"He told me that you worked at a school, that you were attacked by a violent man, and that justice was served when the bastard was killed by a train." Lord Wuthering coughed, "I apologize for my language. That was rather rude of me."

"I don't mind. It's good to hear that someone else thinks as lowly of him as I do." Anna gazed into the dark, in the direction Mrs. Hughes took James. "What I wonder, more than anything else, is what happens when he asks about his father one day?"

They stood in silence a moment before Anna forced a laugh. "I'm sorry, that was rather personal."

"It's not a problem for me." Lord Wuthering offered her his arm, "If we're to work together as closely as I hope we will, knowing more about you will help me know you. As I hope you'll know me."

"How closely did you work with the last teacher?"

"Very." Lord Wuthering guided them down a path lit with small lights along the stone-slabbed edges. "Given that half the children are entrusted to my care while their parents serve in the necessary obligations of their rank they want the best for their children."

"And the others? The orphans and foundlings you took in?"

"They'll one day be leaders and world shakers in their own right I believe." Lord Wuthering smiled, "Sometimes I think we forget that it's the people our society expects so little of that tend to do the most for it."

"How'd you mean?"

"First, one needs parents to have vanity. Those without anyone to tell them how to think or what to believe discover all that on their own. Second, instead of worrying over what their parents'll think of their activities they're driven to think of what the world'll think of them." Lord Wuthering waited as a footman with a Sikh turban opened the door. "It leaves the doors to the world far more open for them than those living under the weight of obligations from a young age."

"That's true enough. But the chip on one's shoulder can be as crushing as the weight our names put there." Anna thought a moment, "I'm reminded of the American founding father, Alexander Hamilton, in that regard."

"Of whom?" They both looked up as a couple came toward them, a tall, slender woman, and a blonde man.

"Alexander Hamilton." Anna repeated, "He was orphaned at a young age in the Caribbean after his Scottish father abandoned him there and his mother took ill and died."

"I remember something about him being rather an upstanding revolutionary." The blonde man frowned, "Helped start the American Federal Reserve I believe."

"That's right." Anna affirmed, smiling at the servant who offered her a glass. "But his pride and the necessity of proving he was more than an illegitimate, forgotten child led him to make reckless decisions that injured his relationships with some people and irrevocably damaged his family."

"Didn't he duel to death with someone?" The woman took a sip from her glass, "I always thought that was foolhardy. What a stupid way to die."

"He did and it just goes to show what people trying to prove a point will do to prove it."

"That's true." Lord Wuthering conceded, bowing his dark haired head at Anna. "Forgive me, Miss Smith these are members of our Embassy staff here in Bombay. Mr. Matthew Crawley, one of the legal representatives here, and his wife the Lady Mary Crawley of Yorkshire. Lady Mary, Mr. Matthew, may I present our new school teacher, Miss Anna Smith."

"Anna Smith?" Lady Mary made a face, shaking her hand slightly to swirl the liquid in her glass. "Did you work at the school at Downton?"

Anna coughed, "I did."

"George might've gone there had we stayed at Downton but Matthew's work called us here." Lady Mary smiled, "My father spoke highly of the teachers at the local school because they're fantastically brilliant."

"Then I'll think of myself as one deserving a bit of that compliment."

"Probably more than a little if Papa offered you the introduction that lured you here to serve Lord Wuthering here in Bombay." Lady Mary handed her empty glass to a servant. "I'm grateful that George'll get an education from someone who brings a taste of home with them."

"I'll do what I can." Anna smiled and jumped slightly as Lord Wuthering accidently bumped her while turning to the gathering.

He held up a hand, "I apologize, I didn't mean to bump you."

"It's no problem." Anna stepped to the side as he addressed the small gathering.

"It seems that dinner is served." The group followed the guidance of a man with a white cap over his head into the dining room. Lord Wuthering gave Anna his arm, "In apology for my earlier stumble."

"It's nothing to be excused." Anna took his arm anyway, "But I won't refuse an opportunity to take a wonderful man's arm."

"You've already decided on something I'm not sure you could say with surety if you knew more about me."

"You've already given me the chance to receive your high opinion so I very much doubt I would be remiss to give you my high opinion just as quickly."

"Then I'll endeavor to do all I can to keep it."

Anna shrugged, "Who says my opinion is worth keeping?"

"If Lady Mary Crawley can say good things about you without even really meeting you then I believe your good opinion is worth keeping for as long as I have it." Lord Wuthering passed Anna off to a footman to have her seated.

Anna took the seat next to Mr. Matthew and quickly put the napkin on her lap. Lady Mary, on the other side of the table, was already in deep conversation with a man in a straining tuxedo. She snuck a grimace toward her husband before sending her own mask in the direction of her discussion companion.

"She tends to find dinners like this absolutely ghastly but never says no." Mr. Matthew whispered to Anna, leaning in her direction while arranging his own napkin. "Mary's the kind who needs a scene to make herself interested."

"She seems the high spirited type." Anna acknowledged, sitting back in her chair to allow the servant to offer them the first course. "I'm sure it helps you in your work here."

"I spend most of my days in a tiny office at the Embassy sweating through my shirts." Mr. Matthew laughed and Anna joined him. "But no, she's actually been of great help to the Ambassador and the other Lords as they stay in Bombay. She doesn't quite love the area like I do but she loves to be involved in the way everything works."

"She sounds like an invaluable piece in the workings of the government here." Anna took her spoon to the soup, "The same invaluable people Lord Wuthering seems to have hired here to keep the ways of English life all the way on the other side of the world."

"He's insistent on keeping any of the Embassy visitors and dignitaries wrapped in the comfort and cotton of home life since so many of them can't stand to be away from home or they always talk about how much they hate foreign lands." Mr. Matthew rolled his eyes, "They're not exactly satisfied by the realities of life away from their castles and finery."

"And you?"

"I believe that if we're going somewhere else we must respect the customs and cultures of the places we travel to as foreigners ourselves." Mr. Matthew shrugged, "I think we forget that the world is not as much our oyster as we'd like to believe."

"I quite agree." Anna put down her spoon, "It's part of being bold and British that makes us think the world is ours for the taking instead of realizing it's a gift for us."

"A significant gift to be sure." Mr. Matthew leaned back so the servers could take the dishes away. "Since you'll be here more often than I will, I'll warn you that Lord Wuthering puts out local fare more than our native fare."

"Should I be warned?"

"It tends toward the spicy and can be a bit like… fire in the mouth." Mr. Matthew sniggered, "The first time I tried it I drank the yogurt in front of me without a breath and then the one in front of the poor man next to me."

"I'll keep that in mind." Anna took a drink, "How long've you been here?"

"About three years now."

"And how long will you stay?"

"That's at the whim and whistle of the government and the Ambassador General." Mr. Matthew went to take a drink but quickly put it down as the sound of screaming and crying reached them.

Anna pushed her chair out faster than the footman could and rushed toward the door where Mr. Hughes and someone else held James away from another boy. Both were in tears, trying to fight with one another while Mrs. Hughes engaged in the noble effort of trying to keep them apart.

"What happened?" Anna bent down, pulling James's hair back to see the small cut. "What did he do?"

"He and Master George here tussled a bit." Mrs. Hughes handed George to Lady Mary as she approached as well.

"Perhaps we should take this to another room." Mr. Matthew joined them and Anna caught sight of Lord Wuthering standing with all the other men at the table.

"We should." Anna picked James up, following Mrs. Hughes to another room.

Once the door closed, the other woman leaving them be with George and his parents, Mrs. Hughes, James, and Anna, they all turned to the children. Lady Mary sighed, running a hand over her face while Mr. Matthew chewed on his jaw. Anna set James on a chair, looking him in the eye.

"What happened?"

"He hit me." James's lip trembled but Anna did not drop eye contact.

"Did you hit him?" James nodded and Anna sucked her cheek. "Why?"

"I'm afraid that Master George and Master James argued about their fathers a bit and Master James reacted rather poorly." Mrs. Hughes inserted and Lady Mary groaned.

"George, what were you thinking?"

"He's not got a father!" George pointed at James and Anna paled when Lady Mary and Mr. Matthew turned to her.

"George, everyone's got a father." Mr. Matthew chided, "Why would you say that?"

"But he's father's dead."

"And?" Lady Mary waited but George looked at the floor. "Where his father is or what condition he is in now is not an issue."

"I'd like to apologize," Anna turned from James to the others. "He doesn't usually act with such passion."

"He's a child and children are passionate. There's not a concern here." Lady Mary turned to George, "You need to apologize to Mrs. Hughes and to Master James for your behavior and remember that you're supposed to be better than that."

George pouted toward the floor but Mr. Matthew nudged him forward. The little blonde child stuck out his hand toward James. "I'm sorry."

"James?" Anna waited and James wiped at his eyes before giving his own hand. "Don't you have something to say as well?"

"I'm sorry I hit you."

They shook and George went back to his parents. Anna took a deep breath, "I'd better take care and return him home."

"There's no need to miss the end of dinner." Lady Mary pointed back toward the dining room. "I'm sure they'll be on their best behavior now."

"I think James is a little too put out and should be taken care of at home for the night but thank you." Anna lifted James, nodding to the couple. "You've been very generous and kind but I don't think tonight is a good time to continue tempting fate when we're so new to the environment."

"I hope this doesn't put you off in any way." Mr. Matthew stepped forward, helping Anna with the door.

"No. Just tired, for the night." Anna managed her best curtsey while keeping a hold on her son. "But thank you for your sincerity and the conversation at the table. It was refreshing, to say the least."

Anna made for the back door, under the guidance of Mrs. Hughes, but found their way blocked by Lord Wuthering. "I'll take her the rest of the way, Mrs. Hughes, if you don't mind."

"Not at all milord. I need to take George back for the rest of his dinner." Mrs. Hughes left them and Anna tried to keep control of the blush she knew painted shame on her cheeks.

"I apologize for disturbing dinner with the actions of my son."

"There's no need to worry over that." He touched James's face with a finger, tsking at the small cut. "Children react in ways I think we adults envy sometimes."

"Sometimes. But there's a reason we don't react this way." Anna shook her head, "Thank you for dinner. I'm sorry to've spoiled it."

"No, you actually saved me a rather awkward conversation that I can now pretend never happened and switch topics." Lord Wuthering opened his arm toward the door and they started walking toward it. "I hope you don't think me too forward if I offer to walk you back."

"I don't but I'll decline since I won't hold up the evening any further by distracting you from your guests."

"I could stand to be distracted by you on more occasions than this, if you'll allow it." Lord Wuthering took one of her hands and kissed it. "Goodnight Miss. Smith."

"Goodnight Lord Wuthering."

"Please," He held up a hand, "If we're to work together for the benefit of these children and my estate I'd rather you called me John in private. I can't stand to be on ceremony all the time."

"I'll keep that in mind." Anna smiled. "But I'd rather call you something that still offers you the respect you deserve, given your position as my employer if nothing else."

"Mr. Bates then."

"Bates?"

"I'm John Bates, Lord of Moorland, North Orkney, and West Galway."

"With all those titles it must be a mouthful to recite."

"As a child it was." He nodded his head toward her, "But to you, unless on ceremony, I'm Mr. Bates. As plain as you like."

"You don't strike me as plain in any way, Lord Wuthering."

"I live to impress."

"Goodnight, Mr. Bates."

"Goodnight, Ms. Smith."

She set off, following the same path as earlier, but looked over her shoulder to see him still standing in the doorway to watch her safely back to her house.


	4. The Dowager and the Lady

Anna scrunched her eyes closed as a tiny body crawled under the light blanket to lay next to her. Little hands pulled at her nightgown but she twisted away, trying to hide her giggle. When the fingers wrapped more insistently in the fabric she pounced.

James squealed, trying to get away from her questing fingers and determined tickles but she persisted. He squirmed away, escaping her, and landed on the floor to hold his arms out for display. "I dressed myself."

"I see you have." Anna turned in bed, motioning him back to her lap. "And you did a lovely job of it."

"Thank you." He cuddled closer to her and Anna rested her chin on his head a moment before kissing at his brunette locks. "We start school today Mummy."

"Yes we do." Anna craned back to see James's face, her eyes reflected in his. "And what are you going to promise Mummy about your first day of school?"

"Not to fight."

"And?"

"To pay attention."

"And?"

"To remember that we have all of this by the grace of God." James nodded his head in finality at the end, smiling at his mother. "Is that right?"

"Yes it is." Anna kissed his forehead, "Now leave Mummy to get her own clothes sorted and then we'll go have breakfast with the other children yes?"

"Yes Mummy." James slipped away, sprinting through the house as Anna faced her wardrobe.

"As if there's much to say in that respect."

Once dressed, though James insisted he did not need any touchups and wailed when Anna changed his clothes, Anna had James lead her to the kitchens where two small tables with matching benches already held chattering children. Anna noted the two tables were separated by color with the white children at one and the darker Indians at the other.

Before she had a chance to ask about it James ran to the table with the darker children. A few of them stared but one of the boys immediately moved, speaking with James so fast Anna was sure neither of them finished sentences. From her right an approving huff drew her attention to Mrs. Hughes.

"He did the same thing last night. Little Arjuna there took an immediate shine to James and they just started talking away."

"That's wonderful."

"They can't understand one another since Arjuna's barely speaking English and only ever speaks Hindi to anyone. But," Mrs. Hughes sighed, "Children don't seem too bothered by that."

"I wish we were a little less bothered by it."

Mrs. Hughes frowned and then nodded in understanding, "You mean the separate tables."

"I thought everyone was equal in this house."

"They are but not all the children see it that way." Mrs. Hughes shook her head, "Parents influence their children so young that a few of our British ones believe the Indian children or the foundlings are no more than savages."

"That's horrible."

"That's the sad truth of the matter."

"What about the classroom?"

"Surely some breakfast first." Mrs. Hughes guided Anna to a table as a bustling woman with ginger hair brought over a bowl. "Mrs. Patmore here would be terribly wounded if you decided to ignore the meal she's prepared for us."

"That I would."

"Then I shan't offend on my first day here." Anna took her seat with Mrs. Hughes, tucking into the provided breakfast. "Though I wonder, since everyone in the house seems to know so much about me, if there's anything I should know about the house."

"Mrs. Patmore runs the kitchen and is therefore the god of all mealtimes in this house so we keep a rigid schedule there." Mrs. Hughes nodded toward the children, "They're all in and out of here. The children whose parents are on tour or posted to slightly less hospitable climes take more temporary rooms while the others have a kind of dormitory on the second floor."

"And they all live together?"

"If they live in this house they do." Mrs. Hughes smiled, "Lord Wuthering calls them all his children."

"Why?"

"His wife never wanted any." Mrs. Hughes shook her head, "The man's doomed to leave his title to some distant relative he's probably never met since he's got no blood children of his own."

"He seems to love children so much."

"That he does." Anna turned as Mrs. Hughes stood up from the table to see an old woman standing there, wrapped in a sari. "These are his pride and joy, more than anything else he owns or does."

"Your ladyship, I didn't think you were coming back until this afternoon."

"Our carriage made good time from Amritsar." The woman squinted at Anna and then nodded, "You must be the new teach John wrote about to me."

"I am, your ladyship?" Anna turned to Mrs. Hughes for cues but the other woman was quickly rushing away to give orders about something in the house. "I apologize, I don't know who you are."

"I'm Mrs. Bates."

"Who?"

The woman laughed, "I'm the Dowager Duchess of Kenwick, Lord Wuthering's mother."

Anna coughed, "He never mentioned being Duke of Kenwick."

"He probably only told you he's Lord of Moorland, North Orkney, and West Galway yes?" Anna nodded and the Dowager motioned Anna to sit as she took Mrs. Hughes' abandoned space. "He doesn't like saying he's a Duke since he's never there but he is. He insists that being here makes him only Lord Wuthering and we all respect his little idiosyncrasy."

Anna nodded, "Then you're not Lady Wuthering?"

"Thank whatever god you believe in, no." The Dowager scoffed, "A nastier creature never drew breath on this continent or any other."

"Then she's still alive?"

"Unfortunately." The Dowager arranged her sari over her shoulder, "She's probably staying somewhere with someone she shouldn't and will roll herself back here when she's run short on the funds John makes a point of giving her in finite amounts."

"So she'll come back?"

"So she doesn't ruin him while he's trying to run a business and maintain a household." The Dowager snorted, "There she is now."

Anna frowned and then heard it. A veritable screech from the inside of the house followed by a loud crash echoed through the house. The children at the table shoveled food into their mouths as fast as they could before stacking their bowls at the end of the table to sprint inside.

"She's in a mood today." The Dowager stood, "Best to brave the storm at the beginning or she gets nastier later."

"Nastier?"

"One would think that lack of decorum was enough but this woman knows no bounds." The Dowager gestured to Anna, "She'll insist on meeting you."

"Why?"

"Because she's insanely jealous."

"Of me?"

"Of anyone in the house. Though where that slut gets it into her head that she deserves any control over the actions of her husband is beyond me."

Anna tried to clamp her jaw shut but surprise pried her jaws apart. James ran to her, confused by the noise and the rush about him, and Anna scooped him into her arms. The Dowager stopped, beaming broadly at the boy.

"He's definitely yours with those eyes." She leaned forward, "And what's your name young master?"

"James."

"Well, Master James, I'm pleased to meet you." She gave over her hand and Anna nodded for James to shake it.

"He can be shy when he meets anyone for the first time."

"I'd imagine." The Dowager straightened, "But he's a little angel."

"He's everything I could ever want." Anna brushed a bit of James's hair back. "And he's wonderful."

"To come all this way I'm sure he is." The Dowager grimaced, "Now to meet someone decidedly less lovely."

Anna trailed the woman into the house, noting how the servants sprinted for alcoves and cover while the shrieks grew louder in the background. The Dowager waved them all away while striding powerfully toward the library where the noise centered. With a push on the door the torrent unleashed and Anna pressed James's head to her shoulder as he covered his own ears.

"You told them not to give me any more credit? You do realize how embarrassing it was to watch them decline me? In front of my friends!"

"So you have those do you?" The Dowager spoke evenly but it broke through the screech to leave the dark haired woman to silence.

Lady Wuthering, positively vibrating with rage, faced the women who entered the room. Anna caught a glimpse of Mr. Bates, long suffering in his bearing the brunt of the fury but still standing strong. He nodded to her, risking a wave at James. James returned it with enthusiasm but Lady Wuthering caught sight of it and traced it back to Mr. Bates.

Her eyes narrowed and the tone she used sent shivers down Anna's spine. "Now your hire of a woman with a bastard in tow makes much more sense. Is he yours, Batesy?"

Anna gaped, holding James closer as she looked at the woman standing before her with alcohol on her breath and wrinkled clothes on her body. "I beg your pardon?"

"I asked with the little boy in your arms is my husband's son." She leaned toward James, and Anna turned to put her shoulder between Lady Wuthering and James. Lady Wuthering cackled, "Don't want me to find out do you?"

"It's got nothing to do with him." Anna stared the woman down, "Lord Wuthering offered me this position at the suggestion of Lord Grantham."

"Wasn't that who you go back to England to visit, Batesy?" Lady Wuthering pursed her lips in a dramatic pout, "Isn't that where you go to get away for awhile?"

"Ms. Smith's son is nothing but a sweet boy whose father died in a tragic accident." Mr. Bates stepped forward, "And you'll leave our new teacher out of whatever horrible insinuations you've got to spit off your tongue this morning. If you want to cast aspersions then I'd suggest you look to the foundations of your own glass house Vera."

They held one another's stares a moment before Vera stepped away, "Well, I guess Ms. Smith is better informed as the poor choice she made coming here to work in a house as broken as this one." She faced Anna, "Welcome to Bombay Ms. Smith. Enjoy what I hope is a dramatically short stay."

She walked away and Anna kept James on her shoulder. For a moment she thought he shivered but realized it was she who shook. A hand on her shoulder had her startled enough to almost wrench herself from the grip before recovering herself at the sight of Mr. Bates's face.

"I apologize if I startled you."

"It's… it's nothing. I should get to the school." Anna went to move but his hand was on her shoulder again. "I'm fine, Mr. Bates, I promise."

"I'm sorry if I-"

"It was an experience, meeting your wife Mr. Bates." Anna curtsied to him, "I need to get to the children. They'll be waiting for me."

She hurried from the room, trying to steady her breathing.


	5. Lady to Me

Anna waved to all the children as they ran away from the classroom, some of them waving back before darting toward the gardens for teatime. James hung back a second but Anna noticed his eyes focusing on the other children. With a nod she urged him out of the room and his little legs could not run him away fast enough.

She laughed to herself, gathering the primers and other books left on the desks before turning back to her desk to stack them. A knock on the door had her turning and Anna kept her smile up. But after a moment her smile fell a bit.

"Lord Wuthering, how can I help you?"

"You could start, Ms. Smith, by keeping to our agreement and referring to me as 'Mr. Bates'." He walked forward, stopping just short of arms length from her. "How was your first day?"

"That's not why you're here, _Mr. Bates_." Anna emphasized his name, watching his grimace and feeling a bit wrenched inside for her decision.

"It's not." Mr. Bates shook his head, "I came here to apologize."

"Apologize?" Anna clasped her hands in front of her waist, holding her fingers tightly until she bit back on her jaw to stop herself releasing her grip. "You stood up for me rather nobly to your wife, Mr. Bates, and I'm grateful for what you said in my defense."

"That's not why I came to apologize." Mr. Bates coughed, "I came to apologize for not being completely honest with you."

"Mr. Bates," Anna cut him off, "If you believe that you owed me more explanation then it's I who needs to apologize."

"You?"

"I assumed something about you that wasn't true and made a fool of myself." Anna hung her head, finally releasing her now pale fingers. "I apologize for being far too forward in regards to our relationship."

"You didn't." Mr. Bates shook his head, "You made no assumptions that I didn't encourage and that's why I need to apologize."

"Then I'll accept your apology if you accept mine." Anna held her hand out toward him, "Could we please return to our relationship before I made a fool of myself?"

"Only if you accept my apology for not being completely honest."

"Gladly."

They shook hands and Mr. Bates pointed behind him, out the doors. "Would you walk in the garden with me? I need to explain some things to you and being in a classroom makes me feel like I'm waiting for my governess or tutor to punish me and I don't want to get stick."

Anna nodded, "I'd like to take a walk. I need to keep an eye on James and he's probably running himself ragged while ruining his clothes."

"But what else should children do? It's a process of discovery."

"I could do with a little less mending."

They walked out of the classroom, taking the stone strewn path toward the gates. Anna laughed, watching James run with Arjuna as they chased George through the bushes. She paused on the path, her smile growing larger before she turned back to Mr. Bates.

"Perhaps you're right."

"It may be hard to believe but I was once a boy like James is."

"I can believe that you had an incredible childhood." Anna shrugged, "I've met your mother."

"Yes," Mr. Bates ducked his head a moment before squinting toward the distance as they continued walking. "She had only kind things to say about you."

"She's lovely." Anna took a breath, "She also mentioned that you're actually a Duke."

"Yes." He shifted his jaw, "I thought it might be a bit more extreme to introduce myself as a Duke when being a Lord is already more than most ever meet."

"You were afraid that I would back away because you were too royal for me?"

"Wouldn't you be?"

"I don't think I can say. I've never met a Duke before. However," Anna stopped, facing Mr. Bates, "I did grow up in the shadow of Lord Grantham's influence. I'm not entirely over-awed by titles."

"They're a mouthful to be sure."

Anna paused, "Are those titles reasons you married Lady Wuthering?"

Mr. Bates drew the toe of his shoe in the rock a moment before facing her. "I actually hoped that you'd ask so I didn't have to find a way to turn the conversation in that direction."

"You wanted to have this conversation?"

"I felt you deserved the details of why she was so viciously caustic toward you." Mr. Bates pointed toward a bench. "Would you mind if we sit?"

"Please." Anna took her seat first, waiting for Mr. Bates to join her. "Though if we stay here to long we'll miss tea."

"I could stand to miss tea." Mr. Bates waved his hand back toward the house, "If I take it then I'll have to take tea with Lady Wuthering and I'd rather not spend more time with her."

"Won't she be angry that you're talking to me now when her first assumption of me was that I was your mistress and my son is yours?"

"She would if she was awake but my wife tends to be very tired after she rages and drinks herself into a stupor." Mr. Bates bit back something else, holding up his hand, "I'm sorry. This is not what I should be telling you."

"What did you want to tell me?"

"That my wife and I were a match made in convenience and youthfully ill-advised passion, not one made in love." Mr. Bates shrugged, "She wanted to stay in Ireland because she had no interest in ever coming here to India."

"But you did?"

"I wanted to leave Ireland because I thought it might've been why our relationship wasn't going well. I thought that perhaps we needed something else to help us realize why we should be together."

Anna took a breath, "Should you be?"

Mr. Bates shook his head, "No. We're shouldn't be."

"Because you're not alike?"

"Because we don't want to be." Mr. Bates flailed with a hand, "It may be a bit romantic but I always wanted to believe that marriage would be between too people who loved one another and wanted what was best for them."

"I always thought so too." Anna shook her head, "I don't think many people go forward toward marriage hoping for failure."

"We didn't either but we married because we made decisions in poor circumstances that came back to haunt us." Mr. Bates pointed to James as he ran away from the other students. "Sometimes I wish what we feared then had actually happened so we could have a chance at joy now."

Anna frowned a moment and then nodded, "I think you would've been a wonderful father."

"It's why I take in the children here." Mr. Bates choked a moment, "Because it's a joy I'll never have."

"Lady Wuthering can't have children?"

"Lady Wuthering doesn't want children and never did."

"Then how-"

"There are ways for women to rid themselves of children. I don't know how to do it but I know she did it." Mr. Bates closed his eyes and Anna reached a hand out to touch his shoulder but paused, drawing back. "I discovered the truth a few years later, when I discovered she committed adultery, that she never wanted to bear my children and only pretended her pregnancy in the first place because she wanted my fortune."

"And you've no way to stay away from her?"

"I tried sending her to one of my estates, at one point, but she only tormented the staff and drove the people in the village mad. I can't have her too far away from me because otherwise she'll run riot."

"Hence her argument this morning?" Mr. Bates nodded and Anna bit at the inside of her cheek. "So you torture yourself to prevent the torture of others?"

"It's a poetic way to say it but it's not so noble."

"But you stay here, with her, and with these children despite how much she hates you and the children?"

"I stay here because this is where the Empire needs me and I keep my wife here because I can't trust her anywhere else and I keep the children here because these are the only children I'll ever know."

Anna kept silent a moment before speaking, "Then why didn't you tell me this last night?"

"Because, for a moment, I could be free of the weight of the world and enjoy the company of someone I greatly enjoyed getting to know."

"I enjoyed getting to know you as well, Mr. Bates." Anna bit her lip, "But I didn't really get to know you last night, did I?"

He shook his head, "No, you didn't."

"Then, may we start again?" Anna held her hand out to him, "I'm Anna Smith and my son James is the one chasing down the blonde boy over there. His father's dead and I moved here to escape the horrible judgment of my town in Yorkshire. I taught school there and I'm looking forward to teaching school here."

Mr. Bates snorted his laugh, taking her hand. "I'm John Bates. I'm Lord Wuthering, Duke of Kenwick, and Lord of Moorland, North Orkney, and West Galway. I needed a new teacher for all the children that live on my estate since my wife and I have no children and likely never will."

"I'm pleased to meet you." Anna released his hand. "I look forward to doing a lot of good here."

"I have nothing but confidence that you will." Mr. Bates stood, "We wouldn't want you to miss tea with your son."

"I'm sure he won't even notice since he's absolutely destroying his trousers trying to evade capture." Anna laughed and led them back toward the classroom. "Not exactly how a lady should raise her son but, I'm not a lady and I've never pretended to be."

Mr. Bates put a hand on hers, forcing Anna to stop and face him. He did not speak until he was sure she held his gaze. "Ms. Smith, you are a lady to me and I've never met a finer one."

"Never?"

"Never." He gestured toward the house, "This house has seen many women with titles and money who can claim the title by birth but you're the first one who can bear it due to your behavior."

"You've very kind, Mr. Bates."

"I try to be as truthful as possible." Mr. Bates coughed, "Though, I'd like to begin our new relationship here with an agreement that I will not lie by omission or commission in the future."

"I'll accept that, Mr. Bates." Anna motioned toward the house, "But if you could tell me how to deal with your wife I'd be very grateful."

"She won't trouble you anymore."

Anna stopped, "What've you done?"

"Nothing. She's no interest in the education or care of the children and since I didn't go after you this morning she doesn't think you're a threat."

"Then she doesn't know me very well." Anna smiled, "I'm a very big threat."

Mr. Bates grinned at her, "I do hope so."


	6. Never Make an Enemy by Accident

Anna tucked James into bed, pulled the book from his hands, and kissed his forehead. As she left him in his room she jumped slightly, seeing a figure at the door to her house. But her breathing returned to normal when she saw Mr. Bates there.

Opening the door with a smile she ushered him into the sitting room, still holding the children's book in her hands. She hurriedly set it on a small table before opening her hands to him. "Would you like some tea?"

"No, thank you, I've disturbed you enough for the evening just by coming by."

"It's no trouble." Anna motioned to the wooden-framed sofa. "Would you care to sit?"

"I don't intend to stay long."

"It'd…" Anna coughed, "I get rather nervous standing for conversations in my own home so I'd rather we both sat or else I fear whatever you've come to tell me in the middle of the night might put me off my feet."

"Of course, how rude of me." Mr. Bates took a seat and Anna set herself opposite him in a chair. "And I apologize for the lateness of the hour. I occasionally forget that others sleep where I do not."

"You don't sleep?"

"Not well. Not since…" He massaged his hands before shaking away whatever thought troubled him. "I came to beg your forgiveness."

"Whatever for?" Anna frowned, "You already more than compensated your earlier omission about your wife and I already forgave you."

"It's not what I've done but what I wish I could do." He reached out a hand, grazing her fingers a moment before drawing back.

Anna watched as he wrung his hands, with a force suggesting he wanted nothing more than to tear them from his very limbs. She put hers on top of his, calming the motions and drawing his eyes back to hers. "Perhaps you should tell me what has you almost ripping you apart and then you won't feel the need to strip your skin from your bones, Mr. Bates."

"That's just it," His hands slipped in hers, covering her hands in his own. "You would be ashamed to even endure this conversation if you knew what I meant to say to you."

"Based on your allusions to whatever it is I'm sure what I'm imagining is far worse than what you've actually come to say." Anna rubbed her thumb over the bit of his hand she could reach at her current angle. "You promised no more lies of commission or omission, Mr. Bates."

He hung his head, "I did."

"Then perhaps," Anna's finger tipped under his chin so his eyes met hers again. "You'd feel more fulfilled keeping your promise."

Mr. Bates cleared his throat, "I feel things for you that I shouldn't, Ms. Smith. I have since the first moment I read your story and those sensations only intensified when we met for the first time."

"Mr. Bates, I'm far from deserving of your attentions in that way."

"I heartily disagree." He took a deep breath, "When you confronted my wife without a hint of fear I knew I wasn't wrong."

"Wrong about what?"

"Wrong about you." His eyes almost broke her heart with their pleading. "I know I'm not a free man and what I'm saying is impertinent and possibly demeaning to your character but I couldn't sit in that house a moment longer without telling you not only the depth of my admiration but also the depth of my affection for you."

"Mr. Bates…" Anna stumbled for words, slowly removing her hands from his. "I'm flattered, more than I've any right to be, but you and I both know there's nothing to be done about whatever you may feel."

He nodded, "I know but I had to tell you."

Anna waited a moment and rested a hand on his cheek. He jumped under her touch but placed his hand over hers. She smiled at him, the tears in his eyes almost sparking some in her own. "You're not alone in your affections, Mr. Bates. That I can promise you with considerable sorrow."

"Sorrow because you feel it or because there's nothing we can do about it?"

"There are components of both to what swirls in my soul, Mr. Bates." Anna stood, pacing around the room. "It's almost like complex mathematical equations if you can picture it."

"I do apologize," He stood as well, "I'm educated but not as literate in maths as I should be."

Anna went to the small mantle and pulled down a box. Twisting the key on the bottom she set it back on its spot and opened the lid. Soft music petered out of the box and she pointed to it while turning back to face him. "I'm sure you're familiar with the mathematical properties of music, Mr. Bates."

"Familiar enough to know that it's more than pounding the keys to a piano at one beat per measure." He joined her by the music box. "But I've a feeling your particular analogy is a bit more refined than mine."

She smiled, "It's the wonder of the universe that mathematics can explain something as complicated and beautiful as music and yet not explain it at all. As you said, poetically I might add, there is more to it than hammering or sawing the right note on the right measure. It's far more intricate and soul-wrenching than all that."

He waited for her to continue, "But at the simplest of explanations mathematics tells us that eight notes forms an octave, that chords are constructed in intervals of thirds, with variations over those eight notes, to make the music that touches our soul."

"And yet?"

"And yet," Anna turned, "It fails to solve the situation we face."

"Because even mathematics can't work out how two people who can't be together could still feel so deeply for one another?" Anna nodded and Mr. Bates sighed, "If mathematics can unravel the mechanics of something as beautiful as music, why can't it tell us how to take the complexity between us and simplify it so we're not enduring excruciating agony?"

His hand caught hers and held her close. Anna's breath caught but she forced it into her lungs to speak. "I don't think we'd like to know where such an explanation would lead us, Mr. Bates."

"No," He shook his head, "I don't think we would."

They stayed still a moment, the music from the box finishing. Mr. Bates reached over, wound it up again, and set it back on the mantle before taking Anna into dance position. "I do hope you don't find this too presumptuous."

"Not at all." Anna took form, "It's the only dance I know."

"I'm sure you'll waltz very well then." He guided her around the small parlor, weaving between the furniture to end in the middle of the floor as the music faded into the sound of the insects and animals of the night coming out to play.

Mr. Bates stepped back, taking her hand, and kissing it before bowing to her. "Thank you, Ms. Smith, for the lovely dance."

"It was my pleasure, Mr. Bates." She escorted him to the door, "I do hope that you know, if our situation were different, that I would return your affections."

"That sentiment warms my heart, Ms. Smith." Mr. Bates bowed again and turned on his heel to follow the lighted pathway back to the main house.

* * *

Anna maintained a healthy distance. At the dinners she ensured Mrs. Hughes sat her near any of the visiting Embassy representatives or the local landowners or the businessmen. They fawned over her, demanding to know how Lord Wuthering could possibly keep someone like her from the British society in Bombay. It even went so far that some took to making subtle suggestions, while others made not-so-subtle suggestions, about how she might change her fortunes from working as tutor to the herd of children Lord Wuthering hosted at his estate.

One man leaned over toward her during dinner, as Anna sought to fend off another offer of a cool room with a view, and interrupted the man. "How's your wife, Mr. Bricker?"

Bricker flustered and spluttered a moment. Shooting a scowl at the man he turned to Mrs. Harding on his left and drew her into a conversation that Anna hazarded would include far few suggestions of impropriety. She turned back to the man.

"Thank you for that."

"It was nothing I wouldn't do for anyone else trying to avoid the lavishly unwelcome attentions of Simon Bricker." He extended a hand, "Evelyn Napier, at your service."

"Anna Smith."

"Ah, the new tutor." He lowered his voice to whisper at her, "Lady Mary speaks highly of you."

"I'm not sure how. On our first meeting our sons got into fisticuffs."

"You impressed her with how you handled the situation." He sat back, "She's actually the one who suggested I meet you."

"Did she?" Anna narrowed her eyes, "Why would she suggest that?"

"It's actually rather awkward to admit it but Lady Mary's taken it upon herself to see that I'm not falling into unsavory company while I'm here."

"Are you prone to falling into unsavory company, Mr. Napier?"

He shrugged, "I'm a simple man and I usually think the best of people, which can make it difficult to work myself out of more unpleasant company."

"I thought you handled Mr. Bricker with distinction."

Mr. Napier laughed, "That's because he's a man. The bad apples are always easier to spot when you share their sex."

Anna sobered, "I wish I could trade with you for a moment and spot some things a little bit better myself."

"Perhaps then, if it's not too presumptuous of me, we might help one another in that regard?" He extended his hand and Anna shook it.

"I could use a friend willing to help me navigate the unfamiliar roads."

"Couldn't we all?" He took a moment, eyes flicking in the direction of Mr. Bates and she caught Mr. Bates's hasty examination of his plate. "Though I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that you're not only under scrutiny from the companion on your left but our host as well."

"Lord Wuthering and I are of similar minds in regards to the work I do here."

"Forgive me," Mr. Napier swallowed, "But even someone as uneducated in the ways of courtship and attraction as myself can see that there's more than mutual respect or understanding there."

"Is this the point where you give me friendly advice?"

"I wouldn't dream of giving you advice I think you've already given yourself." Mr. Napier sighed, "The hardest part about what you've already told yourself is that he's one of the best of them. It's hard to quell what we feel for those we admire so greatly."

Anna eyed Mr. Napier, "And might I assume you feel something equally awkward and slightly embarrassing about our mutual friend, Lady Mary Crawley?"

Mr. Napier ducked his head, "You wouldn't be wrong there Ms. Smith."

She patted his arm, "I shan't tell a soul."

"Your secret is equally safe with me." Mr. Napier scanned the table, "I did wonder where Lady Wuthering was tonight."

"In this house, if you'll excuse the rudeness of my comment, we take it as a sign of good will from God when she chooses to not make an appearance."

"I'd heard some stories from Charles but I thought he just made them up to scare me at my first dinner." Mr. Napier shuddered, "How does Lord Wuthering cope with it?"

"They avoid one another and she spends most of her time at the clubs and parlors of the other women who hate the heat and the culture here." Anna paused, "Who's Charles?"

"Charles Blake," Mr. Napier gestured across the table to the man in conversation with Mr. Harding and Mr. Bates. "He's my superior here in Bombay while I complete a report for the foreign office."

"He seems like a decent fellow."

"He's one of the best men I know." Mr. Napier agreed, "He's very observant of the rules but he's not without compassion. Most of all he's urgent about everything. There's a passion to his ardent approach to work that most would find boring or pedestrian."

"And what's his purpose in India?"

Mr. Napier lowered his voice again so Anna scooted toward him to hear, "We're here discussing a new treaty with Nizam of Hyderabad."

"He's the one who stood loyal during the rebellion three years ago yes?"

"The same." Mr. Napier nodded, "We're trying to work with the people more and Mr. Blake's convinced that men like Lord Wuthering are the key to that."

"How'd you mean?"

"He's been here long enough that the local population respect him and he's worked with the natives so long they almost consider him one of their own. With his help the pacification of the nation won't be so arduous and fewer lives will be lost."

Anna gave a small smile, "I think Lord Wuthering might ask if it's our right to pacify the nation at all."

"And he may not be wrong but…" Mr. Napier shrugged, "We're all just servants of the Empire before us. I'd rather it not be an Empire drenched in blood."

"I heartily agree."

She went to reach for her glass when the door opened. Mr. Carson's face contorted at the interruption but all heads turned to see Matthew Crawley standing there. His sit stuck to him, soaked by the evening rain, and his hair plastered to his head as if he ran there. The ragged sucks for air drew Mr. Bates from his seat while the other men rose as well.

"Matthew what's the matter?"

"It's your… it's your…" Matthew coughed, trying to find enough air to fill his starving lungs. "It's your wife, John."

"What about her?" Mr. Bates frowned, "Did she get herself into trouble with the authorities again?"

Matthew shook his head, "Something far worse."

"How much worse?"

There were no words and Matthew could only shake his head and bid Mr. Bates follow him from the room. Anna watching him go, the napkin in her hand crinkling, and smiled at Mr. Napier when he placed a hand over hers. "I'm sure everything will work itself out in time, Ms. Smith."

"It usually does."

They did not wait much longer until Mr. Bates returned. His face, paler than his traditional Irish complexion, drew all attention in his direction. Whatever chatter managed to spring up from the table immediately died away.

It took him a moment to find his words, seeming to have caught the block Matthew had upon arrival, but when he did it hushed the table. "I'm so sorry but it seems my wife was just found dead."


	7. All Debts Paid

The somber mood matched the black curtains hanging from the windows of the house. Anna walked James to breakfast with the other children, her eyes darting to the large pyre taking shape in the front garden, and eventually got up the courage to inquire about it from Mrs. Harding when she sat across from Anna at breakfast. Mrs. Harding lowered her voice to answer.

"It's Hindu tradition to cremate the dead. That and burial here, unless you want a stone tomb, is almost impossible between the damp of the soil and the foraging predators ready to dig up graves."

Anna shuddered, "So they'll burn her?"

"They have to. There's no time for a tomb on such short notice and if they wait longer the body'll molder." Mrs. Harding shivered, "And they can't send her back to Ireland since the body won't survive the voyage."

"There's just something so…"

"Heathen about it?"

Anna nodded, "I guess it's all about what you're used to, isn't it Mrs. Harding?"

"It's something I've gotten used to since I've been here." Mrs. Harding put her hand on Anna's arm. "And you can call me 'Gwen' since we're contemporaries and partners."

"Then can I ask you if you…" Anna cleared her throat, "If you know how it happened? Lord Wuthering wouldn't say another word after he announced what happened at dinner the other night and I'm not sure if anyone else knows."

"They've kept it to themselves, since it's rather embarrassing," Gwen cringed, "But what I know, from what my husband gathered from his work at the Embassy, is Lady Wuthering was raving about a good run at the tables. They expelled her from drunk and disorderly behavior so she was shouting to the streets about her reputation and her money and how it would get her in anywhere else."

"That wasn't wise."

Gwen snorted, "I'm not usually one to speak ill of the dead but the late Lady Wuthering wasn't one known for her wisdom or her prudence."

"She was robbed then?"

"And murdered when she tried to fight back." Gwen shuddered, "I love Bombay and I love the people here so much that I sometimes forget it's a city like any other. The darker elements still lurk in the shadows."

"I forget that too." Anna pointed around her, "I spend so much time here it's hard to remember there's a more difficult life outside these walls."

"Indeed." Gwen sighed, "But like I said. I wish for no one's death but there are some people whose obituaries I read with a hint of glee."

"It's Lord Wuthering I feel for. To receive such horrible news and then to have to confront the reality of it all."

"I'd feel worse if it didn't mean he was free of that horrible woman." Gwen shuddered, "The only thing worse is that he's now to be the subject of gossip and interest."

"In the case of her murder?"

"In taking over his inheritance." Gwen looked over her shoulder at a noise from the children at the tables. "Now that he's no longer married to a woman who won't give him children, his distant cousin's going to be worried about the inheritance he might not get if Lord Wuthering actually has children of his own with another woman."

"Then the interest is-"

"From single women of fortune or name or both so they can take over his money and then have their children inherit all that's his." Gwen sighed, "A man like that doesn't deserve to enter that fray again."

"I can't imagine many women in Bombay have the capacity to meet such rigorous demands." Anna rolled her shoulders back, "I guess distance makes him safe."

"Bombay's about to be the most popular place for single women and given he already married a titled woman the first time there won't the same kind of drive for it the second time around." Gwen stood, "Time for school then."

Anna nodded, finishing her breakfast and collecting the children from their tables to take to her classroom. But no matter how many alphabets or multiplication tables she instructed, Anna could not get Gwen's words out of her head. Words that she continually tried to toss from her thoughts due to their inappropriateness given the grief and the mourning demanded at that time.

Grief and mourning she did not share.

When she dismissed her students for tea she tried to keep them away from the pyre in the front garden. The workers had finished its construction and, if not for the ghoulish purpose they built it to serve, Anna admired the artistry. Just as she admired the man circling its perimeter.

Casting a look toward the children, ensuring no one was into any mischief or trouble, Anna walked toward the pacing Mr. Bates and cleared her throat on approached. At sight of her he nodded and crunched the gravel under his feet to come closer. "I hope this didn't disrupt your lessons."

"I don't think the children noticed except for the few who asked if they could play on it." Anna swallowed, "I don't know if I'd imparted my condolences yet but I wanted you to know how sorry I am."

"Part of me wishes I could ask everyone to be less sorry but then I'd feel guilty for saying it." Mr. Bates nodded at the pyre, "For everything my wife wasn't the most important thing is what she was."

"Your wife?"

Mr. Bates nodded, "She wasn't well liked, her friends were of the same disgusting habits and disposition as herself, and her temper matched her temperament. But in the eyes of God I was still responsible for her and I can't help but think I let her down."

"I fail to see how the actions of thieves in the dark would, in any way, reflect poorly on yourself."

"Then it's a good thing you spend most of your time in this compound and aren't listening to the rumors and gossip they spread about my wife in town."

"I shouldn't be one to listen to gossip or judge anyone by it given my own story wouldn't make me more than a splash page in a pamphlet." Anna took a breath, "But my concern isn't for your wife but for you, Mr. Bates. How you're holding up under all this."

"I'm busy berating myself for feeling a modicum of relief that my wife is dead while also mourning the people we could've been instead of the person she was." Mr. Bates ducked his head, "Is that foolish?"

"I think that's human." Anna wrung her hands a moment, "Mrs. Harding mentioned something to me this morning that I've no right to ask about but I'm afraid has preyed on my mind all day."

"Is it about the funeral?" Mr. Bates waved a hand at the pyre. "None of the children should attend, it's not something I want them to notice at their age. And it's compulsory for no one. She made no friends here and I won't ask anyone to endure it."

"It's not that." Anna shook her head quickly, "Though I'd attend the funeral."

"She wasn't kind to you."

"But she was your wife and in that I owe her my respect. What's more," Anna swallowed, "I'd want to offer you my support. If there was any love between you at all, even the wish for such affection, I'm sure you're suffering and I'd want to offer my shoulder at your side Mr. Bates."

"You do?"

"Of course I do." Anna smiled, "We're friends, after all, and that's what friends do. They support one another."

"Like yourself and Mr. Napier at dinner last night?"

Anna ducked her head, "Mr. Napier and I find ourselves in similar circumstances of fortune and it's good to have someone who can commiserate with your pain."

"He is a good man and I'd give my blessing if that's what you're asking for."

Anna frowned, "I don't understand."

"I know Mr. Napier's position would have him looking for a wife and he's a good man who'll take James as his stepson without malice or guile. He'd treat you well and-"

"Have you fallen under the mistaken impression that Mr. Napier's seeking my hand, Mr. Bates?"

"I thought that's what you were so nervous about when you came over to speak to me."

"No," Anna shook her head almost too violently. "I was here to ask about your marriage prospects."

"My what?"

"Mrs. Harding mentioned that the death of your wife is to open a veritable flood of interest from all the eligible, single women in the area who might be looking for a husband or a social advance." Anna stopped, "I'm sorry, I'm asking inappropriate questions."

"No," Mr. Bates put his hand forward and Anna froze when his hand touched hers. "That's not an inappropriate question. It's as fair as the one I asked you."

"Then…" Anna swallowed, "Is that something you'll have to worry about?"

"It is but I'm in a unique position." Mr. Bates continued to hold her hand with his, thumb stroking over the skin of her hand. "Since I married once for position I'm a bit more free. It also helps that I'm a man and therefore the title and wealth are mine to dispense as I will."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that I'm in control of who I will court and who I will entertain for any kind of romantic gestures." He lowered his voice. "There are those I have to entertain, for propriety's sake, and those I can ignore."

"I would expect no less."

"However," Mr. Bates tightened his hold on her hand as Anna went to leave, "I won't betray your affections and I meant what I said when I visited you all those nights ago."

"You can't afford what that would do to your reputation." Anna insisted, "Especially not if there are those saying anything negative or defamatory to your character."

"I don't care about them."

"But you should," Anna breathed out slowly, "You should at least wait until the rumors about your wife die out."

"There's an obligatory mourning period and then there'll be the people I must entertain but after that…" He finally released her hand. "After that I'd like to court you. If you'd allow that."

"I'd be honored." Anna smiled, massaging over her hand where he held it. "I couldn't even begin to express the honor I'd feel at that."

"Then I'll endure the days until that happens." Mr. Bates took a step backward, "I'd best not delay you from the remainder of your afternoon lessons."

"I'm sure the children would thank you for it."

"Now but not later." Mr. Bates bowed his head, "Until this evening, Ms. Smith."

"Until this evening Mr. Bates."

The remainder of the day and the early evening passed quickly. So quickly that Anna found herself rushing about to get James dressed for dinner while managing her dress for dinner as someone knocked on the door. She held the wiggling boy under one arm, struggling against his kicking legs, and answered it in a breathless rush.

Mrs. Hughes pointed to James, "He's not ready for bed is he?"

"He's in a mood." Anna adjusted James right side up, "What can I do for you Mrs. Hughes?"

"It's not so much me as it is Mr. Napier."

"Mr. Napier?"

"Yes," He appeared from Mrs. Hughes side and the other woman snatched James from Anna's hold to disappear into the bowels of the house. "I do hope I'm not intruding."

"Not at all. I simply lost track of the time." Anna waved him toward her sitting room, "How can I be of service?"

"It's actually about Lord Wuthering." Mr. Napier clacked his teeth together, "It's all rather awkward actually but I need to know if you suspect his hand in his wife's death."

Anna's eyes widened, "Surely you're not serious."

"It's the unfortunate part of the job I do, Ms. Smith, that I occasionally have to investigate these kinds of things." He shifted to the edge of his chair, "I hope you don't think I'm going around Lord Wuthering but I'm supposed to conduct a thorough investigation and that involves discussing this with people who know him."

"I can't claim to be more informed on him than others of his staff who've been here much longer than I have."

"I've been questioning them all morning and afternoon." Mr. Napier shrugged, "If I've any comfort to offer you in this then it's the knowledge that each one of them denied it with almost fanatical speed."

"That is a great comfort but I'd expect nothing less." Anna smiled, "Lord Wuthering inspires a great loyalty in his staff."

"And his friends." Mr. Napier held a hand out to Anna, "I am his friend, Ms. Smith, and this investigation is perhaps more painful to me because of it. That anyone, even for a moment, might believe Lord Wuthering would employ such means is disgraceful."

"Then let it suffice you to know that I don't believe Lord Wuthering's the man to face his problems with hired knives." Anna took a breath, "You and I are in similar situations, in a romantic sense, so I'm sure you're coming to me because you believe Lord Wuthering might've gone about mending that problem himself."

"The thought did, I'm embarrassed to admit, cross my mind." Mr. Napier shrugged, "It's not uncommon in this region of the world for men to burn their wives to death and claim 'kitchen fire' as the cause."

"That's horrifying."

"That's the world in which we live." Mr. Napier sighed, "Do you believe Lord Wuthering might stoop to such means to enable a separation from the wife who refused him a divorce?"

"No, Mr. Napier, I don't."

"Then that's all I need." He stood and offered her his hand, "I'm sorry I had to ask Ms. Smith."

"I'm sorry you did too but it's all a rather rotten business isn't it?" Anna escorted him to the door, "Are you staying for dinner?"

"It'd not be in the best interests of me or my work to do so." Mr. Napier shrugged, "I'll be at the funeral tomorrow but for the moment I think I'd best leave the family to mourn."

"I'm not sure how much they're actually mourning but that's none of my business." Anna nodded at him, "I hope the rest of your investigation goes as smoothly as this did."

"We're united in that Ms. Smith. Goodnight." Mr. Napier walked off the porch and Anna returned to her to finish dressing herself.

"Anna?" She stopped, hands holding her hair up, as Mrs. Hughes came to her door. "Might I have a word?"

"Of course Mrs. Hughes." Anna allowed the woman entry, catching sight of James playing quietly in the sitting room. "I'm amazed you could calm him down."

"Sometimes you just need another voice."

"A Scottish one it seems."

"Yes," Mrs. Hughes sobered, "It's about Lord Wuthering."

"What about him?"

"It's… it's about your relationship with him."

Anna swallowed, "We've been nothing but professional Mrs. Hughes."

"I've seen the way you speak to one another, the way you look at one another, and how you touch, Anna, and it's not too unbelievable to suggest that you're far more than employer and employee in your conversations and your relationship."

"We've done nothing wrong, Mrs. Hughes."

"That's not what worries me. Whatever happens between you is none of my affair. I'm concerned with the running of this house and given the interest of the Embassy in this investigation, I'm inclined to believe they've grounds to suspect Lord Wuthering conspired to kill his wife to be rid of her."

"I wouldn't believe any such accusations."

"Nor do I but I do know they might take the relationship you've developed with Lord Wuthering in the weeks you've been here as evidence that he'd have motive to hire someone to kill his wife."

Anna nodded, "I know."

"I don't believe he did and I've known the man a very long time, Anna, so I'm more than assured of his character but we must be above reproach if he's to remain unimpeachable."

"What do you suggest?"

"Distance, for as long as his mourning period lasts and then longer." Mrs. Hughes hauled in a breath. "If the relationship you've developed with Lord Wuthering is genuine then it can survive that long."

"You're asking for two years."

"And a period of courtship he's required to observe as befits his class, yes." Mrs. Hughes put a hand on Anna's shoulder. "I could not ask for a better match if there is one to be made between the two of you but the world might not look so kindly on this."

"They rarely do." Anna faced Mrs. Hughes, "I'll assume you haven't spoke to Lord Wuthering about this."

"I'd rather hoped you'd set the distance yourself and he, as a man of honor, would respect it."

"I can't just go cold on him without explanation."

"Then tell him and keep your distance Anna." Mrs. Hughes could only stand in silence a moment, "It's for the best."

"I suppose it is." Anna clasped her hands together, "If I don't leave now I'll be late for dinner."

"As will we." Mrs. Hughes held her hand out to James and he ran toward her. "We'll see you later this evening Anna."

"Mrs. Hughes?" Anna came to her side, "Might I ask a personal question?"

"Since I've imposed a rather personal request I'd say it's more than fair."

"Why do you take the children at night?"

Mrs. Hughes smiled but it did not reach her eyes, "Mr. Carson and I met one another quite late in life. I'd never taken to marriage before and neither had he. I was a spinster and he was a bachelor. We were lucky to find one another in Lord Wuthering's service but by then it was too late to have children of our own. The answer, as we saw it, was to take on the care of the children Lord Wuthering called his own."

"Then you're both fulfilling denied desires in the same way?"

Mrs. Hughes nodded, "Exactly that. It's why I know Lord Wuthering could never do what they're suspecting he did. Someone with the generosity of spirit and kind heart he possesses could never kill anyone with malicious intent."

Anna frowned, "Why the caveat?"

"Because if anyone were to threaten his household or the children in his care he would be an unstoppable force, Anna."

She nodded, joining them on the path until it diverged so Mrs. Hughes and James could make their way to the children's dining tables and Anna could join the main party. A party that was rather scant that evening. Most had given their apologies, claiming to give the family time for their grief, but when dinner wrapped after the Hardings left and the Dowager desired bed for herself, it left only Anna and Mr. Bates.

He tried to smile at her, "What a party we make."

"For the moment." Anna took a breath, "However, in future, I believe we must stay separate from one another."

"Why is that?"

"Mrs. Hughes informed me that investigation Mr. Napier has the misfortune of conducting into the death of Lady Wuthering might believe our associations are the reason for such an action."

"They think I murdered my wife to marry a mistress?"

"Given how your wife perceived my presence it wouldn't be a stretch of the imagination."

Mr. Bates nodded, taking two fingers to massage and pull at the bridge of his nose. "Then Mrs. Hughes warned you away for the sake of my reputation?"

"She did."

"How long?"

"Two years and then your period of courting."

Mr. Bates blinked at her, "And you agree with that?"

"It's not about whether or not I agree, Mr. Bates. It's about doing the right thing and this is the right thing." Anna shook her head, looking down at her plate. "I can't threaten your position here or any of those in your care."

"I don't care about any of that." The tone in his voice raised her head and before she knew it he was around the table and taking the seat beside her. "I only care about you and what would make you happy."

"That's…"

"Please don't say 'that's kind' or 'that's sweet' if you're only trying to put me off." Mr. Bates took a breath, "I can't bear to be without you, Anna."

She inhaled sharply at the use of her name, "What?"

"You're everything I could ever want and more." He took her hand, "Please don't deny me this. Deny me anything but you."

"I'll still be here, Mr. Bates."

"But I won't be free to touch you, speak with you, or love you as I desire."

"Or as I desire." Anna rested her other hand over his. "But we must."

"I can't bear it."

"Nor can I but together we're strong enough." Anna risked a hand to his face and he immediately forsook her hand between them to cover the one touching his skin. "We can endure, Mr. Bates."

"John," He breathed.

"What?"

"When we're alone like this, for those few times we may be alone like this, please," His eyes met hers, rimmed with tears, "Please call me John and allow me to call you Anna."

"Of course." She took a deep breath, "Of course I will John."

He nodded and dropped her hand, placing space between them again. "Will you be there, tomorrow?"

"On the other side of the pyre."

"Then at least I can still see you." They stood and John kissed her hand quickly, "Sleep well, Anna."

"Sleep well John."

They parted and did not see one another again until morning. They stared across the burning pyre at one another, the flames licking the wood and distorting the air with an excess of heat the environment did not need, to haze and ripple their view. But all the while they only had eyes for one another.


	8. A Year and a Day

Anna roused James, waiting as he grumbled and pushed back the thin sheet. "Come now, I've got exams to administer today and I can't have you late or I'll be late as well."

"I don't want to go." He sat up, dark hair tousled and Anna kissed at his forehead.

"I know but this is important for my students."

"I know." He pushed himself out of bed and Anna stepped away, going into her own room.

She changed quickly, pinning up her hair as she walked back toward James's room. "Are you ready?"

"Yes," James wrangled a tie around his neck and tightened it.

Anna walked over to him, fixing his tie a moment, and combed back his hair. "We need to get this cut."

"It's fine." He pressed it to his head. "Arjuna's got longer hair than me and no one's telling him to cut it."

"Arjuna's respecting his ancestry. Seeing as you're neither Hindu nor are you a Viking I don't think you should try the same thing." Anna patted at his shoulder, "Are you ready?"

"Ready enough."

"You do know you'll be taking those soon enough yourself." Anna walked with him to the door. "And you'll need to be ready for them."

"They're another four years away."

"You saw how fast these years ran." Anna nodded at him as James opened the door to let her out. "We've already been here a year James and I can measure it by the way you've shot up by a weed."

"I'm not as tall as some of the other boys."

"You're almost as tall as me and that's all I need to know." Anna closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, "Do you realize how beautiful today is James?"

"Not for those students with exams."

"Then we'll enjoy it for them." Anna pushed him toward the tables, "Go on, enjoy breakfast and I'll see you later."

James shifted to kiss his mother's cheek before joining his friends at the tables. A blonde young man and an Indian boy with his longer hair tied into a bun welcomed him over with excited exclamations. Anna smiled to herself and walked over to where Mrs. Hughes chatted with Mrs. Patmore.

"Good morning Anna." Mrs. Hughes handed over a bowl and Anna accepted the spoon with it. "James is growing faster than anything."

"Soon he'll be head over me." Anna stirred the contents of her bowl. "I don't know what I'll do with him once he's cresting the tree tops."

"I'm sure no one's grown that large outside of a fairytale yet." Mrs. Patmore sniggered and moved the pot holding the grain-blended breakfast.

"Hyperbole is a lost art." All three women turned as John approached them. "I'm sure when James and the other boys decide to brush the treetops they'll be nice enough to tell us the view is rather wonderful."

"Being taller than any of us," Anna motioned to the women with her, "Perhaps you could tell us how the view is from where you are."

"It's rather nice." He cleared his throat, "Ms. Smith, I know you've got exams you're administering today but I was hoping you'd be kind enough to speak with me for a moment."

"Of course." Anna set her bowl to the side and followed John away from the others. They reached the garden before he pivoted to face her. His mouth opened and closed a few times before he finally closed it and swallowed so hard it bobbed in his throat. "Are you alright?"

"I'm…" He coughed, "I… need to ask you about something."

"You ask me anything." Anna folded her arms loosely over her chest, "If anything I'm your friend."

"I hope you're considerably more than that."

"Well," Anna ducked her head, "I thought we'd discussed the 'how-tos' and 'wherefores' about why we can't be that to one another yet."

"But that's the problem, Anna." John lowered his voice, stepping closer to her, "I've a guest of Lord Grantham's coming who I think he wants me to court in a serious fashion."

"I thought you had another year of mourning left."

"In other circumstances I would but given how I've only narrowly dodged the interests and attentions of the women here, there are certain… factions of the nobility in England that feel perhaps I'm delaying for another purpose." John took a breath, "More to the point my cousin is trying to make himself my heir as soon as he can because, as he says, he fears that I might die before I bear the children I owe my title."

"And you want the time to mourn properly?"

"I wanted the time to let the interest die out." John shrugged, "Most women seeking my name or my money weren't looking to play a long game. They were looking for a short courtship and a swift marriage. Observing a long mourning process was to rid myself of the majority of the competition for my undeserved affections."

"But now that there's a threat to your line…" Anna inhaled, "You'll have to start courting now instead of in two years."

"I'm so sorry Anna." He took her hand, clutching her fingers close and dropping them quickly as someone walked by. "I wanted more time."

"You don't have to marry any of them, do you?"

John shook his head, "If I have my way then I'll be as polite as I can but I won't do anything beyond host them at dinner. I owe it to my class to be civil but I owe no one my heart."

"You do owe your family an heir."

"I do." He inhaled deeply, "I could always leave them Thomas but then our fortune would be gone within five years and there'd be nothing but ruin in his wake. Especially considering he'll never have children of his own."

"Is your cousin's wife not-"

"My cousin's unlikely to ever marry."

Anna frowned and then her eyes widened. "Oh, I see."

"Yes," John nodded, "From what I can tell, he and his valet are rather intimate and it's more than just putting on dinner jackets and straightening cravats."

"I've met a few people like that and while it's beyond my comprehension I do feel a bit sympathetic to the position."

"You do?"

"I'm the mother of an illegitimate child, John. I know what it is to suffer the scorn of society."

"I do hope you've not felt anything of that sort here."

"No, not here." Anna smiled at him, rubbing a thumb over his fingers when she caught his hand in the lightest of holds. "Here I've never felt more wanted."

"I hope so because I do want you here." John's voice edged and Anna tried to suppress the shiver that went down her spine and tremored through her grip on John's hand. "I want you here forever, if I can have you."

"I'm already yours, John."

"Then it's only a matter of time." John grinned, "If I'm being forced to court early that means I can also marry early."

"We won't have to wait so long?"

"No." He smiled, "We will be together soon Anna."

"John-" She stopped, her ears pricking at noises from the back garden. "It seems my duty calls for me."

"Go," John waved her on, "I've delayed you long enough and there are students very anxious to prove they can study in England and America. I'd hate to be the reason they don't find success."

"If they're hard workers it won't matter what stands in their way. And if not…" Anna shrugged, "Not everyone is meant for school and higher education."

"But giving them the chance gives them the choice."

"Exactly that." Anna turned to leave but her breath caught when his hand caught hers. She turned back to him and he raised her hand to his lips, laying a delicate kiss there. Another shiver ran up her arm, this time from her hand to echo through her whole body. "Anyone could see."

"Then let them see." John dropped her hand, clasping his behind his back, "I'm not embarrassed to say what you mean to me, Anna."

"But you can't. Not yet."

"Socially, no. But privately…" John bit at his lip before winking at her. "Enjoy your classes today Ms. Smith."

"I will, Mr. Bates." Anna curtsied and made her way to the classroom where a woman with a pinched face stood sentinel. "Ms. O'Brien, I wasn't aware you'd be administering the class exams for yourself."

"It seemed most appropriate that there be an impartial observer for these exams."

Anna narrowed her eyes, frowning, "I wasn't aware there were any special dispensations for our students."

"There aren't."

"Then you're here for what purpose?"

"Since most of your students are trying to qualify themselves for scholarships and other medal awards, it's in the interest of the Embassy to treat this as an official occasion. One befitting the grandeur the reputation of the universities and colleges that may be accepting your students in the coming year."

"They're entrance exams aren't for another six weeks and only on the assumption they pass this level."

"I know the schedule, Ms. Smith." Ms. O'Brien handed over a sack of exam sheets. "I'd suggest you distribute these to your students or we'll be chatting here for far too long and they won't have the time they need to finish their examinations."

Anna swallowed her reply, nodding at her students to take their seats and placing the exams on their desks. When she finished she replaced the remaining copies on her desk, taking a copy for herself and turning the pages to study the contents. Her brow furrowed even deeper as she read the questions but before she could say anything Ms. O'Brien tapped a large hourglass.

"I hope the gravity of the situation in which you all now find yourselves is not lost in terror or excitement. I also pray, for the sake of your instructor, that you prove more than equal to your task." The hourglass turned over and Ms. O'Brien gave a quick, jerking nod of her head. "Begin."

The sheets fluttered and Anna hurried to Ms. O'Brien, taking the sleeve of her dress to tug the woman to the side of the room. She held up the sheet, practically hissing. "This isn't a fair examination."

"It's been approved."

"These are questions designed for coursework far above their level."

"It's work they'd be performing at University."

"Not at this level." Anna took a breath, "This exam wasn't designed with these students in mind."

"Then you've forgotten, Ms. Smith, that students are meant to prepare for exams and not exams for students."

"That's not the method we use here."

"Then I hope you incorporated portions of the method that all other scholastic institutions use to prepare your students for what lies ahead." Ms. O'Brien took her arm back. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've an exam to proctor."

Anna sighed, catching Gwen's eye in the other classroom. The redheaded woman frowned but Anna waved it off, picking up the edge of her skirt to ascend the step back to her classroom. She took her seat at her desk and watched her students, her heart breaking at the frustration on their faces and soaring as each and every one of them continued through the exam.

When the time was up, and each student turned their exam over to Ms. O'Brien, Anna dismissed them. Most filed from the room with solemn faces and Anna shook her head, turning to the woman stacking the exams in a pile before binding them with string. "I hope you're happy with the results you receive from their exams, Ms. O'Brien."

"I'm sure your work here has been exemplary." Ms. O'Brien snorted, "Lady Wuthering told me about you, you know."

"I'm sorry." Anna frowned, "Were you a friend of Lady Wuthering's?"

"I was one of her closest friends. Angela Bartlett and I were her nearest and dearest, as it were."

"I guess the belief is true then."

Ms. O'Brien frowned, "I'm not sure I understand what you're implying."

"Birds of a feather flock together."

"I do hope you're not one to speak ill of the dead, Ms. Smith."

"I speak ill of no one, Ms. O'Brien. I simply made an observation about your status with Lady Wuthering as I'm sure she made to you."

"Her opinion of you wasn't a very high one."

"I wouldn't have thought so."

"Didn't you wonder why?"

"I didn't have to wonder because I knew, Ms. O'Brien." Anna shrugged her shoulders, "Lady Wuthering was determined to remove all possible happiness of her husband, Lord Wuthering, and our friendship caused her considerable discomfort."

"I would assume taking your illicit relations to the marriage bed that wasn't yours would have that effect."

Anna's eyes widened and she gritted her teeth a moment to keep her emotions tamped down. "I beg your pardon?"

"It was even more interesting to me that when she died you weren't investigated as the source of her misfortune."

"I was at dinner when she was killed. A fact to which no less than ten people could testify."

"Ms. Smith," Ms. O'Brien scoffed, "We both know that our physical location means nothing when we could orchestrate something from a distance."

"Wouldn't such an action require money and resources to which I've no access?" Anna held Ms. O'Brien's face, "Any possible connection I had with Lady Wuthering was exclusively through my position on this estate as the educator for the children who live here. Nothing more."

"And you expect the world'll believe that when you court her husband?"

"I don't much care for the opinion of the world and given Lady Wuthering's ashes, and has been for some time, then perhaps the concern isn't that I'm stealing the husband of a dead woman but the possible threat that I could be a person of interest in this community."

"Then you admit to a relationship with Lord Wuthering?"

"I wasn't aware this was an interrogation or that you had the right to any kind of accusations about my character or my record here." Anna drew herself up, "I've served this house as an educator for a year and been faithful to the duties I was assigned and for which I collect my wages. Furthermore, the relationship I encourage between Lord Wuthering and myself is one of friendship and mutual interest in the care and education of these children. Children whose parents are far more influential than you are at the Embassy and the important ballrooms of England."

Ms. O'Brien flinched, "Are you insulting me?"

"I wouldn't dare." Anna drew closer to her, "But I will have you know that I'm a favorite among these children and they write often to their parents about me. As such, I've gained quite a few friends who outrank you in levels that exceed the number of fingers and toes you could contribute to the numeration."

"And you think you've enough friends for that?"

"I've many friends, Ms. O'Brien, and they'll come to my aid if I call."

"Don't be so sure." Ms. O'Brien hissed, holding the exam papers to her chest like they might protect her from a physical attack. "You've no idea how swiftly opinion changes in the ballrooms where you've never set foot."

"Then I'm sure we're evenly matched in that since you've only ever heard about those ballrooms from those who would never invite you to share the space with you."

"You don't that."

"You wouldn't seek to tear down an instructor on an estate in Bombay if you had better places to be or better things to do, Ms. O'Brien."

"Take care how you speak to me, Ms. Smith." She patted the exam papers, "I hold your students' futures in my hands. I'd hate for anything to threaten them."

"And I'd hate for you to see what would happen if you threaten those children again." Anna bristled, "I'll not hesitate to seek your ruin at every turn if you do anything to harm these children."

"They're waifs and bastards, Ms. Smith. They don't matter."

"They'll change the world."

"It's beautiful that you think so." Ms. O'Brien nodded her head at Anna. "I wish you luck in the future, Ms. Smith. I'm sure you'll need quite a lot of it."

Anna watched leave and grabbed a slate in her hands. When Ms. O'Brien was far enough away she flung the slate from her so it smashed against a far pillar. Her chest heaved as the pieces tinkled in their fall to the tile floor of the open-room school.

"Ms. Smith?" Anna turned quickly to see John standing there, confusion on his face. "Are you alright?"

"Did you know that Ms. O'Brien would administer the exams today?"

"Who?"

"That woman." Anna pointed across the garden to the front gate and John squinted to see the dark-clothed figure of Ms. O'Brien disappear through the open gate. "She was a friend of your wife's and the Embassy assigned her as proctor of the exam today. This exam."

Anna practically flung the paper in his face, her unused venom expending itself in the rage of her actions. John caught the paper all the same, saying nothing, and studied the questions. He handed it back with a sigh and Anna's ferocious grip almost tore the delicate paper from his hands. "Were they prepared?"

"I can only hope. They're intelligent children and I trust they could work out most of the questions but it was…" Anna stopped, putting the palm of her hand against her temple as her fingers curled toward her hand. "They want these students to fail, Mr. Bates. They want them to prove an embarrassment to me."

"To you?"

"When your wife was still alive she spread rumors about me being your… your…" Anna hung her head, shaking it. "It's not important."

"She told others you were my mistress, didn't she?" Anna nodded and then lifted her head at the gentle urging of John's finger on her chin. "It's not true, Anna. You and I know that."

"It doesn't matter what we know, John." She whispered. "Rumors are like wildfire and if we court or marry now then all will assume the worst of our previous relationship. They'll think perhaps we were cavorting together while your wife was away-"

"Cavorting herself."

"She's dead now, John. We're not allowed to speak ill of her in our own defense."

"We've got nothing to defend, Anna."

"I've got a reputation to defend, John." Anna pointed toward the other classroom where James sat with George and Arjuna. "I've got my son to worry about. All he's got to build on is the shaky foundation his illegitimate birth gives him and what his intelligence can scrape for him."

"Then allow my reputation to cover you." John went to touch her shoulder but Anna backed away.

"And have everyone think I was your mistress? Have them wondering if perhaps you and I planned her death between us? Risk everything you've built here on a promise we made to one another when we shouldn't have?"

"Yes." John found her hands, holding her in place. "I'd wait a lifetime to be with you, Anna. I'd wait forever if I had to but I don't. We don't have to wait forever. We can stop delaying and move forward."

"Everything you've built-"

"Is nothing if I've no one to share it with." He swallowed, staring down at her hands as this thumbs stroked over the skin there. "Do you know why I want to marry you?"

"I wouldn't pretend to know."

"Because I saw the passion in your eyes. The passion that brings a woman across the world to give a better life to her son and teach children of all backgrounds regardless of their colors or their religion or the matter of their birth." John took a breath, "You could've gone anywhere, disappeared in any city big enough to have a crowd but you came here. You risked it all and I saw that the moment I met you. Someone who shared my dream and someone I wanted to give my heart."

Anna did not respond and he sighed, "I want you, Anna. Not because you've a position or because I want an heir or because I'm lonely. I've been lonely before and I'm not afraid of that. I've got an heir and while I think I'd doom my house with him he's there. And I've a position so I don't need another. What I do need, Anna, is you."

"What about the women you've still to court and entertain?"

"They'll not stand in my way. Even if I have to crowd them all in the same room for the same dinner party they'll never mean anything more to me than the moment I have to waste telling them I'm flattered but not interested." John stared into her eyes. "You're all that's interested me in a very long time."

"And that's enough for you?"

"Isn't it enough for you?"

"I don't know." Anna sniffed, shaking her head to try and rid her eyes of the tears threatening to roll over her cheeks. "I've never had the freedom to know what would be enough for me."

"Let it be me, Anna." His comfortingly large hand slipped over her cheek, bending his forehead to meet hers. "Let me be enough for you Anna, please."

"Yes." She nodded, their skin rubbing to give a hint of friction. "It's enough."

Her hands gripped his forearms as his hands held her face between them like a valuable piece of ceramic decoration. She took a deep breath, inhaling his scent to the comforting hum of the hot and humid air around them. The slightest brush of his lips against her forehead sent a flutter through Anna's form and her fingers digging into the fabric of his shirt.

John stepped back a moment later, sliding his hands down her arms to take her hands in his. He kissed each one before releasing them. "Then trust in me, Anna. Please trust me."

"I do." Anna reached for him but withdrew her hand as the bell in the other classroom rang out and the stomp of feet resounded over the compound. They smiled at one another and John snapped his heels together. When he bowed she curtsied and then they straightened.

"Until next time, Anna."

"I'll count the days, John."


	9. A Kiss to Take with Me

Anna twisted the flute in her hand, the liquid inside lapping gently with the steady movement. A tiny laugh to the side drew her attention to Mr. Napier, who sipped at his own drink with a smile hinting at his amusement. "What?"

"You're not concealing your emotions very well Ms. Smith."

"I wasn't aware that was necessary." She continued to scowl across the room at the beautiful woman on John's arm, laughing at everything he said.

"Anyone can tell you're dissatisfied with the arrangement, Ms. Smith."

"Should I be anything different?"

Mr. Napier shrugged, "According to convention, very much so yes."

"I'm sorry if I can't help that my emotions are a bit harder to hide now than they were." Anna finished her drink and set the glass to the side. "Would you dance with me, Mr. Napier?"

He finished his drink and set his glass next to hers before offering her his hand. "Am I a tool for you to make someone jealous?"

"I think you're more of a distraction for me." Anna put her hand in his and they took position as the string orchestra in the corner started again. "I'm not so petty that I would seek to use you just to make someone jealous."

"That's very comforting since I've been in the position as someone's temporary toy." Mr. Napier frowned and led her around the floor. "I've no interest in doing that again."

"I'll apologize for whomever that was." Anna twirled under his arm. "Though I've got a bad feeling it was Lady Mary."

"No, she was kind enough to tell me through her actions she had no interest in me in a romantic way." Mr. Napier avoided a collision with another couple and rounded them through a crush. "It was kind of her in a bit of an unconscious way."

"She seems like the kind of person who is unconscious about the desire of suitors she gathers around herself." Anna smiled and dipped back at Mr. Napier's urging. "I think it comes with her territory."

"It certainly does." Mr. Napier lifted her and continued dancing. "Though, if you're not to find me too impertinent, I'd like to make you an offer."

"I'm curious what you've got to suggest." Anna pulled to a stop as the music left its final strains echoing around the ballroom.

"I'd like to offer you my hand in marriage if Lord Wuthering is unable to escape the hold of his class on him." Mr. Napier held up a hand, "Please don't mistake me. I believe him to be a man of his word and if he promised you his heart and a life then he'll fulfill it as much as he can. But if not…"

"Mr. Napier," Anna covered his hand with hers, "You and I both know we don't love one another."

"Marriage isn't always about love, Ms. Smith. Sometimes it's about the need to find someone you respect and could find a measure of happiness with when all other options no longer exist." He took a breath, "Should you need someone, I'd like to offer myself as an option."

"You'd take my illegitimate child into your house?"

"I'm not stranger to that kind of scandal." Mr. Napier cringed, "My father…"

"If you don't want to say it, then you don't need to."

"It's nothing I need feel shame for." Mr. Napier shrugged, "My father and mother weren't in love. It's why I wanted to find it and realized Lady Mary and I weren't for one another. Given the lack of relationship between them there was… not the monogamy I'd desire in a similar situation."

"Do you have half-siblings, Mr. Napier?"

"I do." He nodded, "One from my mother and one from my father. It's an awkward situation but it's one I learned to handle. And I could promise that your child would find respect in my house."

Anna put a hand up as if to touch his face but stopped, lowering her hand while nodding at him. "I couldn't be more flattered or feel more affection for you than I do at this moment, Mr. Napier, but I rather doubt you and I will ever find ourselves in that predicament."

"If we do," Mr. Napier kissed hand, "Remember that I'm here to help you."

"And I know to come to you when I need that help." Anna walked back toward the edge of the room and stopped as if to call back to Mr. Napier when she caught sight of John kissing the other woman's cheek.

She swallowed back, her hands shaking, and pushed through the door. The dark corridor enveloped her and Anna supported herself on the wall as she hauled air into her lungs. Somehow she choked off a sob and pushed herself to stand and walked toward the doors to exit.

Someone's hand came down on her arm and she turned. Anna covered her mouth with her hand and then tried to brush away the tears before he could see them. "Mr. Bates, I hope your guest for the evening isn't too distressed that you've had to leave her."

"She'll be fine." He stepped toward her, managing to run a finger over a tear trek before Anna managed to get away from him. "Are you alright?"

"I think I'm a bit overcome by the evening." Anna waved a hand, trying to sound vague and uninvested.

"Anna," He kept his voice soft and she fluttered to contain her emotions. "I can read you like a book and I know you're not alright."

"I thought…" Anna stopped herself, trying to balance the tremor in her voice. "I thought I could bear it but watching you associate with those women, no matter who they are or how kind they are or what you promised…"

"You're afraid."

"Shouldn't I be?" Anna pointed back toward the room, "Mr. Napier just promised me the chance of a life and a home if you couldn't and I told him it wouldn't be necessary but after watching you tonight… I made a mistake when I thought it might be possible for you and I to be together."

"What?" John paled, "Have I done something to convince you-"

"It's not you. Never you." Anna risked her fingers touching over his hand for a moment. "It's the world. They want something else and it's far stronger than us. Society and convention and tradition'll rule out what we want. It always has and it always will."

She managed a breath, "We promised ourselves something foolish because what it desire can never be. Much as we may want it or dream of it or hope beyond hope to have it we can't. Not because we're weak but because the world is too strong and it won't be. It can't be. Not with these other women who are better situated to be your wife in position and talent and-"

Before she could respond John pressed her into the wall and his lips crashed down on hers. His hands held her steady but did not grip tightly around her jaw. One slipped to her waist to keep her in a position so their mouths could move over one another while the other stayed up to frame her face and Anna lost herself to the feel of his thumb tracing over her cheekbone. Her own hands fluttered but found a hold on his lapels to keep herself standing when he drew his tongue along her lower lip. They breathed together, sinking almost into one another's skin, until John's lips broke from hers.

He pulled back, breathing hard but meeting her eyes. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

"I disagree." Anna whispered, her fingers running down the silky material of his lapels. "I think I needed that very much."

"I just… I don't want you to doubt me Anna." He stared at her, his body still sheltering her and Anna wanted to press closer to him. "Don't doubt how I feel about you."

"I don't doubt you. I doubt everyone else." Anna closed her eyes, leaning her forehead on his chest. "I doubt that they'd let you be happy."

"Or let you be happy?"

Anna nodded, "Is it selfish?"

"No more than how I wish I could send them all away to be with you and only you."

"With me?"

"Of course you." He ran his fingers over her cheek to trace around her lips. "Every moment I spend with them is torture of the highest degree because I want to spend those moments with you."

"It's torture for me too."

"I know. But it's only for a short time longer, I promise." John guided a finger over her lips, "You're the only person I want. Don't doubt that, please."

"I won't." Anna put her hand to his cheek, shivering at the contact, and stood up on tiptoe to leave a kiss there. "You'd best get back to your guests. They'll be missing you."

"How can I go back to them when I'm already missing you?"

"Because it's your duty, John." Anna smiled and giggled quietly when John pressed her back to the wall to kiss her more thoroughly.

When he finally broke away, Anna smoothed his jacket and arranged his tie. He caught her hand, pressing a kiss there, and smiled at her. "If you're not too exhausted later, Ms. Smith, I'd like to take a turn about the gardens with you."

"I think I'd greatly enjoy that." Anna took a deep breath. "Now back to your guests before they get suspicious."

"They probably already are." His grin would not stop and Anna forced herself to walk away from him first.

"I'll see you when you've finished your duties for the evening then."

"Yes, I think so."

She watched him return to the room, praying no one else noticed the wrinkles in his shirt or the way she left his lips a little swollen. Anna could not keep the smile from her own face, touching her lips with gentle fingers, and left the house. The path to her home walked her more than she walked it but Anna stumbled slightly when she found the Dowager there.

Wearing a lovely sari the woman pushed herself back and forth on the swing there. She turned as Anna ascended the steps to the porch, and smiled. "Did you know they call this an oonjal here?"

"I didn't." Anna clasped her hands together, grateful for the low light of the lamps and the dark of the light that kept her steadily reddening face from glowing like a beacon.

"My son caused a bit of a stir with his design to have them both in and outside his home. The people said they were supposed to be indoor furniture, or for sleep." She snorted, "I can't imagine how anyone would trust themselves to stay on it, rocking through the night just to land in an very undignified heap on the floor."

"We managed hammocks on the boat here." Anna offered and the Dowager nodded at her.

"I did as well but it doesn't mean I'd do it again. I thought I should embrace the experience but now I'm convinced I won't be doing anything of the sort if I ever go back to Kenwick. Instead I'll manage to find a berth with a straw-filled mattress and risk the bedbugs just to make sure I'm not tossed from my hanging strap of cloth."

"I couldn't see them refusing you anything." Anna peeked about, "Is there something with which I can help you, your ladyship?"

The Dowager waved a hand so Anna moved to stand before her. "I need you to keep the faith, Ms. Smith. To soldier on and endure as only women like yourself can."

Anna frowned, "I'm not sure I understand."

"Then I'll beg you don't pretend with me. We're both adults and I'd like to think you respect me as much as I do you when I say what else I've come here tonight to say." She stood and Anna forced a hand to the railing behind her not to cow in her presence just at the weight of the woman's posture. "Don't lose faith in my son. He's worth everything you'll give waiting for him to fulfill his duty."

"Then you know about..." Anna could not find the words to say it out loud, as if she might jinx it or break her own heart in the forbidden hoping.

"About how much he admires you, desires you, and wishes he could marry you?" The Dowager nodded, "I couldn't give much to my son but if there was anything I wanted for him more than you, I've yet to find it."

"I'm beyond flattered, your ladyship."

"As rightly you should be." She winked, "I didn't give that kind of adulation to the last Lady Wuthering and it wore away at our relationship until we couldn't be anything but nasty to one another. It was… beneath me to treat her in such a way but when you watch someone tear down your child…"

"I know a bit of what that's like." Anna directed her gaze toward her feet, "I've seen the looks and judgment my son has endured."

"And you, by default I'd imagine."

Anna nodded, meeting her eyes. "I'm sure we've both got our stories of difficulty we could share and trade back and forth."

"I'm sure we could." The Dowager bent her fingers and Anna hurried to follow her onto the path that wove around the gardens of the house and circled the inside of the walls. "I don't know how much John's told you about the late Duke of Kenwick-"

"Nothing at all, your ladyship."

"Please," The Dowager drew in a breath as if the term insulted her. "We're out in the dark alone, I think we can dispense of titles here."

"At your will, milady."

"Call me Mrs. Bates at least, make me feel more like a normal person." She pulled at the shawl about her. "It's why I wear the sari. To feel like I'm at home here instead of perching on the edge like a starving colonialist hoping India'll be my fortune."

"Isn't it?"

"No. My parents' fortune was made in art. I'm the beneficiary of a mercantile empire. I had no titles before I married John's father." Even in the dark Anna could see her gaze darken. "I just traded the dignity I had for them."

Anna kept pace with the older woman and maintained her silence. "John remembers some of it. When he was younger or on his holidays from school. But I hope he's blocked out the worst."

"Was he…?" Anna risked but the Dowager shook her head.

"My husband wouldn't dare harm his heir. What would people say then? It was all well and good that he treated me, the girl from nowhere who paid for her position, the way he did but harm a child of his blood… that'd be unthinkable."

"Did your husband not love you, Mrs. Bates?"

"To love someone you must be in possession of a heart, Ms. Smith. My husband, through the blueness of his blood or the years of hearing that he was greater than all about him, my husband lacked the simplicity of empathy. He had no room to love anyone that wasn't himself and the sad truth of the matter is that I don't think he even realized what he couldn't do."

"Love you?"

"Love our son." Mrs. Bates shrugged, "As a woman of my time, Ms. Smith, I hoped for love like the romantic stories and fairytales I heard as a child but I grew from that illusion rather quickly. One must if they're to survive in the world."

"Is that why Lord Wuthering-"

"Married the first Lady Wuthering?" The Dowager shook her head. "He married her because, for a time, he was lost. He obeyed his father's command and joined the military, as was his duty, and came back lost. Whatever darkness he saw in his service clutched at his heart and he found a similar darkness in the former Lady Wuthering."

"He said it was a marriage of convenience and passionate mistake."

"That's what one would call a political match made after they were found together in rather compromising circumstances." The Dowager shuddered, "It was my worst nightmare to see my son so distraught and confused. He had no idea what he wanted or who he was and he clung to the first thing that gave him purpose. It was just the wrong thing. And she clutched back when he tried to pull away to the point she feigned a pregnancy to keep him."

"He told me about that." Anna ducked her head, "Said it was why he has the children here."

"He has children in every one of his homes except the place his cousin demanded of him." The Dowager almost spit. "I hate having to call that snake his cousin."

"I thought-"

"My husband's abuses toward me were not just physical or emotional, Ms. Smith. In much the same way Lady Wuthering flaunted her infidelity at him, my husband flaunted his. John's heir, his cousin, is actually his half-brother."

Anna stopped, "Does he know?"

"John's no fool so yes, he knows. He also knows why we perpetuated the illusion." The Dowager sighed, turning her head toward the sky. "If only my brother-in-law had a blood child. Then I couldn't kicked the bastard to some forgotten Scottish moor and left him there to tend sheep."

"He was taken by John's uncle?"

"The man had no heirs and they thought they could kill two birds with one stone." The Dowager shrugged, "My brother-in-law might've done good for the boy if he hadn't been under my husband's thumb. It destroyed whatever chance that boy had of growing up to be a better man than his father."

"Mr. Bates did." Anna bit at her response, "Lord Wuthering's a kind and generous and-"

"He came by it through a long, hard road that pained me to watch." The Dowager nodded, the shining track of a few tears etching their way down her face. "As a mother, I'm sure you know the pains you go through when your child suffers and you can do nothing for them."

"I know it very well."

"I endured it like the torture it was so I could stand proudly now and watched what he became." The Dowager pivoted toward the house and Anna maintained her place at her side. "He took this position while his father was still alive and built it himself. He wanted to make the world better and this was his solution."

"It's a beautiful one."

"So are the castles and manors and houses he would fill with the orphaned and abandoned to give them a better life." The Dowager paused, "That's why I'd want you at his side. You'd have the heart to understand and support his dream. The women in there have no idea who he is and I feel you do."

"I've known him for a year now." Anna pulled her hands behind her back, massaging her fingers to keep her voice even. "I'd like to think we know one another well enough."

"In one year you know him better than his wife did in ten." The Dowager quickened her pace as the door opened. "Best get back to help wish off all the guests or someone'll be suspicious."

"If they're not already." Anna murmured the words, allowing her lip to twitch to a small smile as they caressed her tongue.

"Just know, Ms. Smith, that the plans my son has in store very much include you. And not just in your current position but at his side." She smiled at Anna, "I look forward to getting to know you better as well."

"And I you, Mrs. Bates." Anna walked the path toward the house and caught John's eye as he bent to kiss the cheek of the woman occupying his arm the whole night.

She walked back to her house, pushing through the door to find James asleep in the sitting room with his work spread about him. Cooing to herself about it, Anna walked over and put a hand on his shoulder. The gentle shake roused him and he blinked at her before shuffling his things together. Anna put a hand down on it, stopping his progress.

"Leave it for tomorrow."

"I can't there's an exam and-"

"And you'll hurt yourself sleeping out here. Come on, up you get." Anna lifted him, helping the boy stumble toward his room.

"Where were you? I thought you would be home earlier." James pulled his shirt over his head and Anna turned to give him privacy.

"I was but then the Dowager was waiting outside to speak with me."

"She was?" James tapped Anna's shoulder and she faced him, pulling back his covers as he hurried with the water basin to brush at his teeth and get a comb through his hair. "She never knocked."

"I think she wanted out conversation to remain private." Anna waited for James to settle into bed and then bent to kiss his head, pushing down at his hair. "And I thought you were already asleep."

"I intended to be but then I got caught up and…"

"Fell asleep anyway?" Anna laughed, brushing his hair back from his face. "Sleep now and you'll finish in the morning. I'll help you."

"Mother?" Anna stopped at the door, ready to blow out the candle there.

"Yes?"

James sat up, "Do you intend for Lord Wuthering to be my father?"

Anna coughed, setting the candle to the side. "He's not your father James."

"I know but… if he married you then he'd be my father, wouldn't he?"

"In a way he would but his position doesn't-"

"You'd be his second wife. George and I talked about it and he said that there's less pressure on a marriage for benefit when a man has a second wife and-"

"James," Anna held up a hand, "Lord Wuthering's not going to be your father. He's the Lord of this manor and he's got many more responsibilities to worry over. We're here as beneficiaries of his grace and we're grateful for what we'll gain from that."

"I'm not saying I'm not grateful I'm just-"

"Going to sleep." Anna put a hand to his shoulder and pushed him down onto his bed. "You've work to do in the morning and I won't have you too groggy for class."

"But you-"

"Sleep." Anna took the candle, blowing it out and closing his door.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight." She set the candle on the table outside James's room, "Sleep well James."

There was no response and Anna pressed toward the sitting room when someone rapped quietly on the door. She walked the short hallway, her skirts swishing over the floor, and opened to see John standing there, still wearing his dinner jacket. Anna smiled and turned over her shoulder before closing the door behind her to join John on her porch.

"I'm hoping my son is asleep."

"That's for the best." John nodded and pointed to the swing, "Could we?"

"I think it'd be nice to be off my feet."

"Yes," John cringed, offering Anna a hand as she lowered herself to sit and then joined her. "My mother told me she monopolized your time."

"I'd hardly call it a monopoly." Anna raised her left arm to hold the rope that kept the swing secured to the overhanging roof. "She told me she approves of your decision where I'm concerned."

"She likes you."

"She said I was the woman to make your vision a reality."

John winced, "I'd rather she not have presented it so clinically. Makes it sound like an arranged marriage so I can benefit from your expertise."

"You would either way."

"Yes, but I'd rather have asked you in a setting that didn't have you questioning my motives or my interest."

"Anyone who speaks to me and…" Anna ducked her head, "Kisses me as you do isn't interested in just what I could give you."

"But I am." Anna looked up as John took her right hand in both of his. "I'm interested in the endless happiness I know you'll give me. Or the joy and the boundless wonder. I'm interested in so many things I know you would give me Anna that I burst with all the possibilities when I have to bear the inane conversations at the dinner table or in the stuffy ballrooms here."

"You do?"

"I've felt… connected to you, Ms. Smith, since I first heard your story."

Anna slipped her hand from his, "I think you're quite mistaken there, Mr. Bates."

He frowned, "Why?"

"My story, though James is a silver lining, is one of dark clouds. One of secrets and worry that I'd be found out or shame."

"Shame?" John shook his head, "Why are you speaking about shame?"

"Because, Mr. Bates, a woman in my position is spoiled. Spoiled for you and for the world as they see it. Shame drove me here and I recognized that no man could ever have me again because I'm spoiled."

"But Anna," He found her hand again but his touch demanded nothing of her. It was gentler than a whisper of wind and murmured comforting heat in its grip. "You're not spoiled. You could never be that."

"I'm ruined, Mr. Bates. I'm not… Not a…"

"I do hope you're not about to believe that the man who so violently harmed you took what you couldn't give him."

Anna studied John's eyes. "What do you mean?"

"His actions took nothing from you. They hurt you, I won't deny or belittle that. They left you torn and broken, that is certain, but it made you holier and higher because you endured your suffering." John took a breath, "What he took from you was nothing. Your virtue, if we're to call it that, is still yours. Intact and untouchable by evil like he was."

"Truly?"

"Truly." John covered her hand with his other, as if to communicate to her through the grip that he wished to enfold her in his arms in a similar fashion. "You're more than that experience. It made you different, there's no denying that, and it gave you James but it took nothing from you. Nothing that you didn't seize back by traveling thousands of miles to give your son a new life."

Anna's breath hitched and she tried to cover her mouth as a sob escaped. John offered her his shoulder and, moving cautiously so they did not throw themselves off the swing, she buried her face at his shoulder. The fabric of his jacket soaked up her tears and soon Anna lost herself in the expulsion of emotions roiling inside her as hand smoothed up and down her back.

When she could breath easier, Anna pushed herself upright, wiping at her eyes with shaking fingers until John offered her a handkerchief. They both laughed a bit and she dabbed at her eyes. "No one's ever told me something so beautiful. Thank you."

"It was my sincere pleasure." John stroked the backs of his fingers over her tear-stained cheeks. "You're a remarkable woman Anna and I've known that for a long time."

"You're a remarkable man yourself." Anna managed a rattling breath. "And I know it's not ladylike to say it but… I think I love you, Mr. Bates."

"You think?"

"I've never been in love before but I think the emotions inside me are love for you." Anna smiled at him, twisting the handkerchief in her hands to occupy them. "And I know it's not ladylike to say it but I'm not a lady and I don't pretend to be and-"

"You're a lady to me." John's hands covered hers again and she wanted his hands to stay there forever. Wanted to keep him close enough to always hold her hand in such a simple but touching gesture. "And I've never met a finer one."

They swung back and forth a moment before John's hand cupped her face. He traced along her lips and then her jaw before holding her steady to lower his lips to hers. Anna gave herself over to the kiss, moving her lips as slowly over his as he did over hers.

Unlike before, it was not a sudden conflagration, but the same passion bubbled and ebbed like a tide. Anna held at the rope of the swing to steady her when her other hand covered his cheek. It scraped back to hold his neck as John teased his tongue at the edge of her lips. She opened to him and he swallowed the moan.

Their tongues tangled for a moment until John ended the kiss. He pulled back slowly, eyes hazy, and they stared at one another. Turning his head slightly, he took her hand and kissed the back of it.

"As soon as I can end this courting season I'm yours, Anna."

"You are?"

He laughed, "I already am, heart and soul and whatever else I could give you."

"It's enough." Anna hurried to say, laughing with him. "What you're giving me right now is enough."

"Only for now." John whispered, "Soon we'll not have to hide in shadows or sneak these moments. I'll be free to kiss you whenever I like and to show the world the woman I love and who loves me."

"I rather like the sound of that dream." Anna sighed, "But, for now, it needs to remain a dream."

"Our dream."

"Our dream." Anna affirmed, tugging him to stand. "We've duties in the morning."

"Then I'll pray this night never ends so I could spend it all staring into your eyes."

"Maybe one day." Anna ran her thumb over his knuckles and then met John's lips for another kiss. "I'll count the moments until it's ours."

"So will I." He kissed her hand once more and then managed a swift final kiss to her lips. "Goodnight Anna."

"Goodnight John." She watched him walk away, waving him off when he turned to stare at her. He blew her a kiss and she smiled at him. "Goodnight."

"I love you, Anna Smith, and one day the world'll know it."


	10. Courting Season

His hands slipped around her waist and tugged her into the shadows with him. Anna squealed but lost the rest of it when he tipped her head over her shoulder to kiss her soundly. She broke it quickly, hissing at him with a smile on her face.

"If you're this obvious then everyone'll know."

"What if I want them to know?" John trailed his fingers over her jaw and then swept down her neck to the edge of her collar. "What if I want to show them the woman who stole my heart?"

"There's an etiquette to all of this." Anna's voice cracked and heaved as he kissed over her neck and back toward her mouth.

"I prefer the etiquette that allows me to steal kisses from you." He covered her mouth with his and Anna brought her hand around to grip his neck and hold him to her.

Her back came in contact with the wall behind her and John's weight pressed her against it. His tongue teased over her lower lip and only released when they needed air. Their foreheads rested against one another and Anna gently played her fingers over the skin of his neck.

"You need to go and greet your dinner guests."

"I just want them all to leave." He ran a finger over her jaw, their eyes meeting. "I want to send them all away and then take you someone private. Somewhere we could be alone, just you and I, until the end of time."

"I'm not sure that place exists." Anna sighed, putting her other hand on his chest and waiting until the thump of his heartbeat synchronized with her own. "But we'll find a place all our own soon."

"This charade is almost over." He covered the hand on his chest, bringing it to his mouth to kiss. "Then we'll…"

They froze, the sound of laughter passing where they stood, and Anna pulled John closer to her so the black of his jacket covered them in the shadows. When the sounds passed they giggled together before Anna stole a final kiss and pushed John back. "We're already risking enough as it is, Mr. Bates, without putting ourselves in a very awkward position."

"It'd make this whole thing end faster." He still held her hand, pulling her along with him toward the doors. "What hope could any woman have if they knew I only wanted you in my arms?"

"Just the hopes any woman has in your arms." Anna extracted herself. "Now don't forget your responsibilities, Lord Wuthering."

"You only use that name to hurt me." He pouted, taking a step backward while keeping her in view. "But I know you, Ms. Smith, and I know you're as eager as I am."

"I guess you'll have to wait to find out." Anna grinned to herself and walked around to the side of the house to enter from that door.

The gathered individuals chattered and mostly ignored Anna's presence in favor of their previously existing conversations. But Mary and her husband called her over where they spoke with Mr. Napier and another man. He was not as tall as Mr. Napier but he held himself with a degree of confidence Anna recognized as a superiority born of a position. One he kept to himself as he extended his hand and introduced himself as Mr. Blake.

"Pleasure to meet you." Anna paused, "Though I believe you've been here as a guest before."

"On much more… dismal circumstances." He nodded, "That was the night we heard the report of Lady Wuthering's death."

"Some would say that was an act of a benevolent god." Mary managed and Anna covered her mouth with her hand as Matthew scowled at his wife.

"We don't speak ill of the dead, Mary."

"You don't." Mary faced Anna, "Tell me, as someone who stays here on a more frequent basis than those of us slaves to the Empire, is it not a more peaceful place with her now deceased?"

"I'll say that dinners and other activities proceed with a degree less anxiety to them." Anna managed, taking a glass from Mr. Napier with a grateful smile. "I wouldn't say it's all been peaceful."

"I forgot," Mr. Blake sipped his own drink, "Lord Wuthering's been subjected to all the eligible women in Asia now that he's in need of a new heir."

"I take it you don't favor Mr. Barrow's chances in becoming the next Lord Wuthering." Mary addressed Charles, finishing her own glass and handing it to one of the servants and waving off the opportunity for another.

"From my experience in the Foreign Office," Mr. Napier finally managed, focusing on the floor as if still working out the details of his final thoughts. "He's not well liked and he's not good with the allowance he's granted."

"He's also not any more likely to bestow an heir on this house if he gains the lordship." Mr. Blake cringed, "Though I'm not one to speak ill of any, I think it'd be wise of Lord Wuthering to avoid giving him any reason to have to trust to progeny from Mr. Thomas Barrow."

"What've you heard?" Matthew frowned, "I thought he was engaged to a Ms. Swire of London."

"There are things some do for show, Mr. Crawley, and others they do for fun." Mr. Blake lowered his voice, "Mr. Barrow is not the kind of man who prefers the company of women, if you understand my meaning."

"Then what of Ms. Swire?" Mary opened her hands, "Surely a man in Mr. Barrow's position understands the duties of his calling, despite the desire to perhaps seek out the less fair of the sexes for his personal pleasures."

"It's more the chance for scandal. He only just avoided one last year when he made the mistake of keeping a rather… embarrassing, stack of correspondence between he and a Duke Crowborough."

"I never liked that man." Mary shuddered, "Fortune hunter if ever I met one."

"And not too kind toward his servants, if memory serves." Matthew frowned, pointing a finger at Mary. "Wasn't he the one who insulted that poor boy when he tripped on your grandmother's cane."

"William and yes, he was." Mary shook her head. "That whole debacle made my father so horribly irate he went and smashed one of his favorite snuffboxes."

"If I may ask," Anna put in, all eyes turning her. "Which part angered your father more?"

"He's never liked Duke Crowborough, and the fact that a stranger would have the gall to insult one of his own household under his roof almost had him stuffing the ghastly cigar the man puffed down his own throat." Mary grinned to herself. "If only we could've seen that. I wouldn't risked the scandal and a lack of invitation to ever ball that season just to watch the Duke get his."

"As it stands," Mr. Blake finished his drink and smiled his gratitude to the man who offered the platter to take it away. "He's in dire straights financially. Had to sell a few of his properties to pay off some hefty debts when he suffered the bad combination of both a gambling addiction and poor business practices."

"We'll be slaves to our vices if we allow ourselves to be so." Mary turned to Anna. "And how is Master James? I heard from George that they're all fast friends now."

"James loves it here and he speaks very highly of George as well." Anna smiled to herself, "He wants to grow his hair out to look more like one of his Hindu classmates."

"I hope George doesn't get that idea." Mary shuddered, "He's look a right state with blonde locks dangling to his shoulders."

"Like the right state Lady Anstruther has herself in trying to woo Lord Wuthering?" Mr. Napier pointed them all across the room, winking at Anna as he did.

The small group tried to hide their laughs as John valiantly tried to maintain a level of decorum with the woman who could not keep her hands from constantly touching his shoulder. He cleared his throat when he saw the butler appear at the door and announced everyone to dinner. A dinner that had Anna and Mr. Napier sharing their own sniggers and choked back laughter at the sight of John doing his best to not throw off the woman's hold completely.

At the end of dinner, when the different parties separated themselves to their rooms and bed, Anna walked back toward her little cottage. A hand came down on her shoulder and she barely had time to smile before John's lips were on hers. His hand pulled her into the shadows of her smaller garden and they took refuge on a bench beside her home, hidden away from prying eyes.

"I've been waiting all evening to do that." He broke the kiss and Anna brushed a lock of hair from where it loosened in the vigor of his display of affection.

"I'm sure you had a bit of time to contemplate what I know was a very indelicate suggestion from Lady Anstruther when we all decided to turn in for the night." Anna grinned at him, not bothering to fight him off when John kissed her a bit more roughly than before.

"Even if she'd stripped naked in front of me and offered herself with whatever wealth she had I would've only had eyes for you." John's hand cupped Anna's cheek. "It's barely enough for me to steal or sneak kisses and touches with you when everyone around me is trying to capture my affections."

"And what makes it so difficult, John?"

"It's hard to steal something when it already belongs to someone else."

Now Anna was the one pulling John closer, trying to haul every breath from his lungs into her own body. She tried to get closer to him, the material of her skirt rubbing over his trousers as they shifted to try and sink into one another's skin. And when her hands fisted her grip in the lapels of his jacket he pulled her even closer so she straddled his legs on the bench.

When her knee knocked the wood there it pulled her to reality. Anna pulled back from the kiss, breathing harshly in the night before she landed back on the bench. "Please excuse my passion."

"There's nothing to be excused." John held her gaze. "I wanted you to go further."

"I don't think that'd be wise." Anna settled back on the bench. "Not when I've already had a son without a father."

"Anna I didn't mean-"

"Your suggestion is not entirely undesirable, John," Anna dragged her hand from his neck, the shiver of his response tingling over her skin as well. "It's… It's not something you should risk to your reputation."

"Or to yours." John caught her hand, holding it delicately between his own. "Which is why I'd like to give you something."

He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a chain that glinted in his hand as he pulled it taut. "It's not a ring, since I can't officially request your hand as yet, but it is a symbol of the promise I want to leave with you."

Anna held out her wrist and he fastened the chain there so a small strip of imprinted silver reflected the light. "Is this Hindi?"

"It is but the scripture is from the Bible, Philippians 4:7."

"What does it say?" Anna touched over the bracelet as it hung, perfectly, on her wrist.

" _The peace of God that surpasses all understanding._ " Anna blinked at the tears in her eyes as john continued. "You're that peace for me, Anna, and I never want you to forget that. No matter how many woman try to-"

Anna kissed him again, keeping her body back but using her hands to bring his lips to hers. None of their previous passion dissipated but now the slow seduction took over from the fierce and hurried motions. John's thumbs stroked and caressed over her face before moving to follow the lines of her arms and then smooth over her sides.

She shifted in his hold and brought her leg up onto the bench in an attempt to get closer to him. Their knees knocked together and they stopped their kiss, losing themselves to giggles. John kissed both of her palms and then the backs of her hands before helping them stand.

"When I can, Anna, I will put a ring here," He brought her left hand to his mouth gain, kissing at her ring finger. "I will show the entire world the woman who makes me so unbelievably happy and then, when I marry you, I'll do everything in my power to make you unbelievably happy."

"You already make me happy John." Anna kissed his cheek. "Now, I've a son in there who'll get very suspicious if I'm too tired in the morning to conduct my classes."

"What if I proposed that you come away with me?" John did not release her hand, holding it gently in his grip as his thumb smoothed over her skin. "What if we ran to one of my other estates here and vanished from the world?"

"And did what, John?" She pressed, "What would you do if we ran away?"

"I'm not sure you're ready to hear what I'd do to you."

Anna raised an eyebrow, "Try me."

He laughed and leaned his mouth close to her ear. "First, I'd kiss every inch of you while slowly extracting you from whatever obnoxiously difficult dress you decided to wear. Then I'd lay you out on a bed so large you'd struggle to find the edges of it. That's when I'd kiss over all of you again, making sure to pay special attention to any place where you cried out or whimpered or even twitched."

Anna shivered, trying to keep herself from moving out of his grip as the heat in her face radiated off of her. "And then?"

"I'd spread you out like a goddess so your hair would halo on the pillow behind you, our arms would have to grip the sheets under you, and your legs would allow me to enter and taste you until you fell over the edge, screaming my name."

She shuddered, tightening her hold on his hand with her left and then gripping at the fabric of his jacket with her right. Her legs trembled but she only pulled herself closer to hear more as John licked his lips, the sound echoing in her ear. The tiniest tease of his tongue there left all the hairs on her body standing on end.

"And when you thought you could move no longer, when I'd coaxed and seduced and convinced and played ever last drop of pleasure from you, I'd take you as slowly as I physically could to bring you back to the precipice with me and we'd fall over the edge together."

Anna buried her head in his jacket, her whole body on edge and quivering as the air tightened in her lungs. "I can't… I can't bear it."

"Anna I'm-"

"No," Anna forced herself to meet his eyes. "I need you to help me."

He frowned, "Help you?"

She grabbed his free hand and brought it to her waist, forcing it down over the fabric of her skirt as she spread her legs slightly. John's eyes widened and he tried to speak but Anna shook her head. They did not stop looking at one another as they lifted the skirt and Anna placed John's hand right where she wanted it.

"You said you wanted to wait." John soothed his fingers over her, opposing his own statement as the fabric rasped and rubbed where the burning from her face increased ten fold under the care of his fingers.

"This… This isn't the same." She dug her fingers into the material at his shoulder, holding him closer to her as she tried to remain standing. "I couldn't… I couldn't have you speak to me as you did without something."

"Do you wish I spoke to you like that more often?" His fingers shifted, using the fabric to cover them as he swept between her folds and pulled across her nerves to leave her breath stuttering in her chest. "Do you want me to seduce you in dark corners with salacious promises and impertinent suggestions?"

"Yes." Anna gritted her teeth, shifting her hips when he taunted her with one finger around her opening and her legs spread just a bit wider.

"You want me to tell you how I'll lay you on my bed, on any bed, and love you until neither of us can move?"

"Please." Her fist clenched, crunching the jacket in her hand while her forehead pressed to his other shoulder and his fingers finally entered her.

"Or how I'd want to spread you over a table and devour you like a feast? Or what I'll do once I have the chance to really expose you? Or all the places I've imagined bringing you out of yourself and to the most exquisite pleasure I could promise you?"

"All of those things." Anna moaned into his shoulder, trying to muffle her own sounds as her body clung to his fingers and her hips bucked against his hand. "Finish it."

"Only as long as you know this is the first time of many." John brought his thumb to her nerves and pressed between strokes of his fingers as deeply inside as he could manage.

Anna cried as lights burst behind her eyes and clung to him through the tremors rocking her body. John's right hand never released his grip on her left and he held her close until she finally found the energy to breathe normally. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, tracing down to her lips.

"I mean every word Anna."

"I know." She kissed him, "And when the moment presents itself, I'll hold you to every promise you made."

"And more to come." John whispered and Anna raised an eyebrow. "If I can bring you to the edge without risking your reputation or anything anyone might… see, before we're married then I'd like to take advantage of that opportunity."

"How?"

"There are a great many shadows and corners where I can give you this all over again." John raised his left hand, traces of something there reflecting n the dim light. "I'd like to see you when you fall over the edge next time."

"It might prove too tempting for you." Anna suggested, finally extracting her fingers from his jacket and hand. "And what if I wanted to see that expression on your face?"

"Then I'd say we'll need to learn to be very skilled and very careful." John bowed to her, "I'm at your service, Ms. Smith."

"Of that I have no doubt." Anna curtsied to him. "And you'd best get back before someone sneaks into your room in the hopes of forcing your to marry her via scandal."

"I'm sleeping in another room tonight anyway." John shuddered, "I don't need the affections of a woman desperate to forget that she's older now than she was."

"Perhaps you could offer her one of your more… available footmen?" Anna laughed and John leveled a finger at her.

"It's not funny."

"It's a little funny."

"For that, Ms. Smith, you'll just have to worry about which shadows I'll use next to drive you to pleasure when there are people about."

"You wouldn't."

"I would." John moved around her, leaving her in the garden. "It's all fair in love and war, Ms. Smith. And since I'm currently battling all of the women in Asia for my hand, I'll need to level the playing field with you."

"You may regret challenging me." Anna shifted her skirts, ascending the steps to her cottage. "I don't play fair."

"Neither do I."

She could not stop the smile that spread over her face and persisted until she finally lay down to sleep.

John was true to his word. As the parade of women trying to woo him continued and the weight of his duties kept a continuous stream of people at the estate, they sought ever more secret corners. Each one closer and closer to where someone might discover them as they kissed and caressed and coaxed one another to the brink of insanity before leaving them wanting and struggling to hide their desires in the face of all the guests.

Given John's knowledge of his own home, he held the advantage of surprising Anna at the most inconvenient moments. Once he dragged her from the line as the children went for tea and left her crying out her climax into his shoulder as he finally used his fingers bare against her skin to sink into her wet heat. Another time he had them sat close to one another in the discussions after dinner and worked his hand in almost imperceptible brushes across her breasts as he gesticulated or motioned in the conversation. And during a celebration where the Ambassador himself attended, John forced Anna to bite into her gloved hand to stop from screaming out her pleasure as he stood behind her and pulled her skirts high enough to sneak his hand between her legs.

But Anna would not allow him to be victor in all things. During a game of cards she distracted him as she sat nearby, one hand on her lap and the other stroking over him. As his face contorted in an effort to stop himself groaning audibly, she continued the conversation about them as if nothing were wrong. Another a time they danced together for a song and she left him spluttering and struggling to contain himself as she returned the favor of telling him everything she planned to do to him when they could finally touch one another in public. And finally, she used the cover of a table to send him into climax that had him kicking the table hard enough to shake it.

It felt like nothing could stop them taking pleasure from one another in whatever way they could find it. And each time their eyes met across the table or during a discussion when they could not tempt and taunt and tease within reach, they made special use of the distance. Anna found John's knuckles would whiten around his utensils if she took special care to show her teeth when pulling something from her fork or when her tongue excessively licked a spoon clean. John was not ignorant to the steady slide of his fingers when he dragged them over his glasses or swept them over the table.

After evenings of that they hurried to bury themselves in dark corners after every one had put themselves to bed. Dark corners like the locked library where John spread Anna out on a sofa and used his mouth where his hands and fingers had previously affected her so perfectly. Or his study where John's fingers almost cut grooves into his chair when he dug his fingers into the wood as she used her mouth where her fingers had previously been so effective.

Each time they would kiss the taste off the other, groaning and clawing at one another but always remembering the others in the house. Their mouths buried cries and moans in fabric and skin to keep their secret. And each time there was nothing to be done but bid one another good night and hope no one caught them.

As Anna dismissed her class for the day she noted John coming up the path toward her classroom. She beamed at him, smoothing her hands over her skirt as he approached and then frowning at the curious expression on his face. "What's wrong?"

"I've a very important dinner coming up and…" He pulled at his fingers before burying his hands in his pockets. "I need your help with it."

"I'm at your service." Anna opened her hands. "What help do you need?"

"I need you to stand on my arm, to greet my guests, and to call yourself Lady Wuthering." Anna's hands covered her mouth as John got down on one knees and withdrew his hand from his pocket to show her a box he then opened. "I want you to wear this ring, Anna, and be my wife."

"John," She breathed, her hands shaking as they lowered from her mouth to see the simple band there. "Can I?"

"The courting has slowed and the time for mourning has passed." He waited, still on one knee. "Please say yes and let me make you happy for as long as we have one another."

"You already make me so happy." Anna fell to her knees with him, grabbing his hands and holding her fingers splayed for he could slide the ring in place. "I wouldn't have anything else to say but yes."

They kissed, the box formerly holding the ring clattering to the floor, and laughed when Anna flung her arms about his neck and held him close. The ring clinked over the metal of the bracelet he presented her so long before and Anna drew back to view them both. John took her hands, his thumbs tracing the bracelet and the ring in equal measure.

"I know it's been longer than I would've liked. But in two years but feeling for you haven't changed."

"Nor have mine." Anna paused, "The only worry I have is James."

"What about him?"

"Our first male child'll inherit your estate and James'll have nothing." Anna shook her head. "I couldn't bear to watch them hate one another or have James grow to resent his brother when he can finally understand it all."

"Then I'll claim him as my own." John stopped Anna's argument. "My previous wife assumed it when she first met him and if I do then it allows me to leave him an inheritance. If I claim his as my blood then he won't be left with nothing."

"You're too generous."

"No," John kissed her, "I'm fulfilling on my promise to make you happy. Just like I plan to do for the rest of our lives."

"I'm happier than I've ever been." Anna sighed, pulling them both to their feet. "I've never happier than I am at this moment."


	11. The Future Lady Wuthering

Anna held her hand out as Mary examined her fingers. "It's rather plain."

"Lord Wuthering's a man of very plain tastes in general." Matthew pointed around them. "Ostentatious behavior was the hallmark of the former Lady Wuthering. He's a frugal man and it's how he's survived with the fortune he has."

"And it translated to his selection of the next Lady Wuthering it would seem." The tiny circle paused, Mary immediately scowling at the man who entered the room, pushing a palm to his perfectly laid hair. "But I guess she's just grateful he even noticed her to begin with."

"I'm sure you're not so rude as to make those kinds of comments and not leave us with a name." Mary folded her arms over her chest, half protecting Anna with her taller frame. "I don't doubt Lord Wuthering'll rather see the back of you once he knows how you spoke about his bride-to-be."

"I'm his cousin, Thomas Barrow, and he's always preferred the back of me."

"Not like the backs of other men that you prefer?" Mary risked and Matthew choked on his drink as Mr. Barrow's face contorted with an ugly purple color. "I see I've struck a nerve."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Just as you don't know what you're talking about." Mary put a hand on Anna's shoulder, "Come Anna, I've some suggestions for your wedding dinner."

Anna only risked one look back at the man with ice-cold eyes before muttered to Mary. "That's John's cousin?"

"I've never met him face-to-face but he's living up to his rather horrible reputation." Mary shuddered, "What a horrible man."

"There might be a reason."

"There's always a reason but that doesn't mean it's a good one." Mary sat down at a table, pulling out a small notebook. "Now I made a list I wanted you to see."

"Did you?"

Mary's hand on her chest echoed the depth of affront to her voice. "I never jest about the meals I plan." She opened the book, "Now, I know you want to invite some of the locals so I made a record of appropriate vegetarian meals you can also serve your expatriate guests."

Anna sat in awe as Mary explained each detail on her plan, from the meals to potential individual servings for those pickier guests they could not avoid inviting. Each passing page daunted Anna until the details steadily ironed out under Mary's steady stream of speech. At the end, when Mary finally paused long enough to breathe, Anna could only blink.

"So? What do you think?"

"I don't even have words." Anna flailed her hand, laughing a bit with relief and nerves. "You've thought of everything."

"That's what you do when you're the wife of an Ambassorial attaché." Mary closed her notebook and tucked it away. "Speaking of whom, he's waiting for me over there and we're all wondering where your Lord Wuthering's gotten off to. Dinner usually begins now."

"That is odd." Anna stood, frowning to herself and moving from the table. "I'll go find him."

"Please tell him we're all famished and the purpose of these gatherings is to entertain us, not to let us entertain ourselves. Who knows what kind of trouble we might find for ourselves in those circumstances."

"I'll keep that in mind." Anna left the room, watching Mary make her way back to Matthew and engaging a few others in conversation.

She set her hand on the bannister to ascend the circling stairs when someone's hand landed on hers. Anna did not even have time to try and smile before her face fell to shock. The same man from earlier, Thomas, held her hand tightly in his.

"Excuse me." She tried to move but he held fast, coming beside her to tower his imposing frame over hers on the stairs.

"I think not." He looked her over, "What does my cousin see in you?"

"You could ask him yourself." Anna risked but Thomas only snorted.

"Don't think I didn't do my due diligence before I came here." He finally released her hand, taking the stair higher than her to block Anna's ascent. "I heard all about the new teacher who captured on my cousin's Indian estate."

"I'd be curious who's spreading rumors so far afield."

"Other than the number of eligible and noble women he jilted or refused in favor of someone as common and unremarkable as yourself?" Thomas waited but Anna did not respond. "They all thought something must be different about him and passed about the rumor that, perhaps, he and I shared more than our grandparents in common."

"He's not-"

"A man with no heirs from a ten year marriage to a woman who, by all accounts, was fertile." Thomas sniggered, "Never with his child, mind you, and she did her best to use the most ancient of remedies to cure the most ancient of female ailments but that didn't stop anyone wondering. Why would a woman, like the recently deceased Lady Wuthering, need to seek another partner if her husband was satisfactory?"

"Perhaps because she was as vile and repugnant as yourself." Anna swallowed, the fingers of her hand still wrapping the bannister tightening to dig into the wood. "She never loved him."

"And I doubt someone with nothing to offer a marriage like the one my cousin proposes doesn't love him either." Thomas's head revolved about the room. "But he does have quite the opulent setting in which to entertain, does he not?"

"Are you suggesting that I'm only marrying your cousin for his wealth?"

"What other reason could there be?"

"One I doubt very much a man like you would understand." Anna sipped past him, gaining a few steps before turning to face him. "And the reason I love your cousin, in terms you might comprehend, is that he's nothing like you."

"He's everything like me, Ms. Smith." Thomas edged closer and Anna took a higher step. "He's the same blood and I promise you, you'll soon seek comfort elsewhere, just like Vera did."

"How can you be so cruel?"

"How can you be so naïve?" Thomas threw his hand toward their surroundings. "You think something like this is built on charity?"

"It's built on hard work and earnest effort."

"It's built on the backs of an industry run by people no better than slaves."

"And you'd change that?" Anna took her turn to snort, "For all the things you've thought of me thus far, ignorant wouldn't have been one of the titles I'd have chosen."

"You're saying you're not?"

"I'm saying," Anna risked a step lower to put she and Thomas's faces on the same eye line, "That you're nothing but a conniving, oily, ungrateful, wasteful man who fears the living he'll lose when he's no longer set to inherit the title or the benefits of such."

"You think you can give my cousin a child? You think you'll give him a son?"

"That's none of your concern." Both turned their heads as John descended, his mother holding to his arm. "I apologize that you both took the time to come and find us but my mother had a fall and she needed my help."

"Are you alright?" Anna put her hand out to the Dowager but the other woman only smiled and patted at the appendage.

"I'm old dear. This is what happens when age creeps on you and makes a home before you're ready for it."

"Aunt-"

"I don't want to hear whatever you're about to regurgitate from your father." The Dowager reset her sash over her shoulder. "I'm old, not ignorant, and I'm hungry so unless you're offering to lead me to dinner I'd suggest you kept quiet."

Thomas's jaw clapped shut and he stood to the side as John and his mother descended the steps. But when Anna went to follow them he stepped in her way again. "He'll realize his mistake and I'll be there when he does."

"I think it's you who's making the mistake." Anna tightened her jaw. "Now let me by."

"You can't tell me that old cripple pretends to want to make you happy."

"I'm sure he'll make me very happy, as I intend to do with him." Anna paused, investigating Thomas's face. "If only you had someone to make you happy in return. Then you might not feel so low."

He did not answer her as Anna continued down the stairs and joined the procession for the dining room.

Anna kept herself occupied with watching John and his mother throughout dinner, ignoring the burning sensation at the side of her neck from the scowl Thomas kept focused on her. Instead she noted the way the Dowager's hand shook slightly with each raise of her spoon to her mouth. Or the tremor in her jaw. And especially the twinge of fear at the corners of John's eyes.

The other guests continued as always, a few of them proposing toasts to John and Anna as they wished them well. Each toast reddened Anna's cheeks a bit and John raised his obligatory glass but the Dowager could barely manage to lift hers at all and Thomas never raised his. But as the evening wound to a close John tried to excuse himself early to escort his mother up but Anna stood up, taking her hand and putting one on John's arm.

"Let me." When he tried to murmur his protest Anna only smiled. "I know the way."

His fingers gripped over hers on his arm, squeezing just long enough to send a rush to her system but not so long as to end the conversation with Mr. Napier about agricultural aims for India. Anna took the Dowager by the hand and they commenced the slow walk toward the stairs. Each step measured and paced for the woman sighing and drawing ever more rasping breaths.

At the bottom of the stairs she tugged on Anna's sleeve, chuckling to herself. "One morning you wake up and find that you're old."

Anna frowned, "I don't understand."

"The young never do. You've no concept of the lives I've lived, the people I've met, or the things I've done because your life feels so full already. You can't fathom fitting anything else in there." The Dowager laughed, starting the stairs with a firm hand to the bannister that slid up with each halting step. "When I was your age I never could've imagined what would happen to me."

"You mean marriage?"

"Any of it." She sighed, "I lost John's father so young and there I was trying to raise a son, act for him in a way that would keep the vultures like Thomas's father away, and still keep alive the memory of one of the best men I've ever loved for the best man I've ever known."

"Sounds rather exhausting."

"It's why my old bones complain at my age." The Dowager mounted another step, "And then, when John married that woman… It makes a mother's heart shatter to watch the once bright, if cocky, boy turn into a cowed and struggling man."

Anna did not speak, only keeping herself abreast with the Dowager to operate as her crutch. They reached the top of the stairs and started down the corridor. Each step seemed more labored than the last and Anna slowed their pace to help the Dowager regain her breath.

"You, on the other hand, have to fight for all this." The Dowager waved her hand toward the walls about them. "He'll fight for you but they'll learn how to snipe when he's not looking because he can't always be there."

"What's your advice?"

"Don't give them any reason to doubt how much you love him." She shrugged, pausing to fill her shuddering lungs as Anna held tightly to her arm so the Dowager would not topple to the floor. "Or to doubt that you're strong enough to be here."

"Am I?"

"Any woman who crosses the ocean with only her son and a will to survive is strong enough for the vipers sharpening their fangs to catch you."

They entered the Dowager's room and her lady's maid appeared from the corner in a moment, rushing over to her side. "Milady, are you alright?"

"It's just age, Anjana, nothing more or less." The Dowager nodded to two chairs sitting by an empty fireplace. "Ten minutes, please, and then I'll take whatever you give me to help ease the ache in these old bones."

Anjana looked at Anna, "She's a stubborn one, our Duchess, but she's worth the trouble."

"I quite agree." Anna smiled at the Hindu woman. "You seem her match."

"No one's a match for me." The Dowager smiled, taking Anjana's hand and grasping it tightly. "She's almost my blood."

Anna frowned, "I don't understand."

"She's like my mother." Anjana returned the grip of the Dowager. "She cares for me and I for her. It's how it works here. We are bound by our ties."

Anna turned to the Dowager, "Then you're-"

"Anjana's got little ones at home, orphaned by the death of her husband in a failed uprising. They were about to be outcast, subjects to the elements and the merciless soldiers of both sides, when they came here." The Dowager smiled, "You've met her son, Arjuna."

"He's a wonderful boy." Anna faced Anjana, "His English is coming along well and-"

"He speaks highly of you as well Ms. Smith." Anjana stopped herself, "Or should I call you Lady Wuthering?"

"I've not married yet so I'm still Ms. Smith." Anna took a breath, "But I'm keeping you both up and that's not very ladylike."

"Before you go," The Dowager craned in her chair and Anjana caught her eye, moving to a cupboard and withdrawing a box. "I want to make sure you have this."

"Oh no," Anna waved her hand, trying to escape the gift but the Dowager seized her hand and placed it on the box. "Whatever it is…"

"Is now yours, with Anjana as my witness." The Dowager settled in her chair. "I don't want there to be any confusion as to what you'll wear when you marry as far as jewelry. And it might not be of much comfort to you but she never wore those."

Anna opened the box and almost dropped it in surprise. Only the swift movements of Anjana saved the box spilling its contents over the rug. Again Anna shook her head and tried to refuse.

"These are far too grand for me."

"But not as part of the dowry of the future Lady Wuthering." With Anjana's help, the Dowager removed her cornet and placed it in Anna's hair. "You may not come with a title of your own, but you will be Lady John Wuthering and there's a dignity to that. A dignity to how you won his heart fair and square. Never doubt that."

Anna tucked the box to her chest and then edged her fingers slowly over the tiara in her hair, the warmth of the Dowager still echoed in the metal. Their eyes met and the Dowager nodded. "He's told me his plan for your son and I couldn't agree more."

"He shouldn't have-"

"It's his way and he's overjoyed about the idea of having a son with you."

"James isn't his son."

"My dear," The Dowager clasped her hand over Anna's, pulling it from her exploration of the tiara. "There's more than one way to be a parent. I'm a mother to Anjana and she's a daughter to me. John's my son and you're my daughter as far as I'm concerned. These are things that have no direct proof but in papers that never matter."

She took their joined hands and laid them at Anna's heart. "What matters is what we feel for one another. That's where the true family holds dear. That's what matters most. Never forget that because it's what'll make what you have with him all the more valuable."

Anna nodded, "I can try."

"I think you'll succeed." The Dowager turned to Anjana, "I'm at your mercy and that of my tired body."

"I'll leave you then." Anna nodded at Anjana and then leaned forward as the Dowager waved a hand to lay a kiss on Anna's cheek. "Thank you."

"It's the least I can do with my future daughter."

Anna could not speak, only nodding her head and trying to blink away her tears. The Dowager smiled and then surrendered to Anjana's guiding hands as Anna slunk out of the door. It closed with a soft snap and Anna turned to leave the corridor when she impacted with John's chest.

They stared at one another a moment before Jon offered his arm for Anna to take. She went to shift the box to her other arm and John raised his other arm for her. Both tried to match the opposing hold and then giggled when they could not synchronize with one another. Finally John took the box in his right hand and then tucked her right hand in the crook of his left elbow.

The walk down the corridor to the head of the stairs was a quiet one but when Anna went to descend John stopped her. She frowned, opening her mouth to speak, but John laid a finger over her lips. Anna could only trail behind him as they walked down the corridor toward another room.

Both slipped into the room, shadows forged of secrecy and silence, and kept it as their agreed mode to make no sound. John set the box gently on a table near the door and then trailed his fingers over the tiara before it rested on top of the box. Then his fingers set a pattern over her face, following the lines as if he would paint her with just the tips of them. She sighed into his hold and could only turn her face to him when his lips descended.

But he did not kiss her yet. Instead he started to memorize her with delicate kisses and flicks of his tongue as he guided her back over a rug. For the moment it took for her shoes to catch John paused and Anna's heart beat so loudly she wondered how no one heard it. Instead of retreating, John got down on his knees and circled her ankle with a delicate hand.

Anna lifted her leg, putting a hand on his shoulder to keep her balance as he removed it with a series of buttons and latches. Each one loosed left her foot free and soon Anna gasped at the feel of his lips kissing through her stockings. His hands skimmed over the material, catching on the tight weave to find her garters. Those John only tugged lightly before rolling the first stocking down her leg.

If not for her hand on his shoulder, Anna wondered if she would have fallen to the floor. Especially when his motions repeated on her other leg to leave her skin prickling with anticipation under her dress. John's hands skimmed over the dress, ruffling the fabric to break the silence between them, and then cupped her face to finally draw her lips to his.

She gave herself over to it immediately, her own hands shifting from a clutch at his jacket to slide around his neck. Anna leaned into him, the crunch of her dress only distracting her a moment. But it enough of a moment to have John laying kisses to her ear. There he paused, his breath echoing in the hollow there.

"Do you remember what I promised you Anna?" His hands moved to find the buttons on her dress and brought them apart with a delicacy she did not believe those large hands could manage. "When I told you there was more to have?"

Anna could only nod, the breath she could barely get into her lungs proving insufficient to give any strength to words. All she could comprehend was the steady thump of her heart in her chest and the rush of blood in her ears. The whisper of his fingers continuing over her skin lit the roiling sensation from a sparking ember to a rising inferno.

"Then you'll remember this part." He paused, "Unless you want me to stop."

"No." Anna's fingers gained strength, clutching into his jacket.

He did not say anything else, lips joining hers again. The motions were as soft as they had ever been, his hands holding her so gently she could have been floating. Each motion he made left her weaker in his arms, falling farther into his grasp as he exposed each piece of her skin to his touch.

Her dress bunched at the floor and John helped her step clear of it to lay her back on the bed. Her arms could not find the edges of it as she sank into the mattress and laid there as John divested himself of his clothes. In the dark of the room, Anna could not see him but his weight depressed the bed near her and she tried to wrap herself closer to him. But John put a firm hand to her shoulder and set her back.

"This is about you." John whispered to her, the only sound allowing her to locate him in the dark.

Her hand went to his cheek, pulling him close enough to kiss, and she tasted him as fully as she could. His hands continued to remove her clothes until she could finally run her skin against his. Each section a mystery she tried to find and connect but John continued to stop her at every turn as he continued fulfilling his promise to kiss each inch of her.

She gripped at the mattress, the feathers and stuffing inside shifting under her tugging fingers, and bit down on the sounds rising from her throat. With every shift and gasp and sigh she let escape, John continued to caress or kiss or suck until Anna could barely fill her lungs. And when he finally returned to her, kissing her lips with as much gentle care as he showed the whole evening, Anna could barely raise her hands to hold at his neck.

"Do you want me to finish it for you Anna?" She nodded against him but John did not move. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." She breathed and adjusted to allow John to move.

John, however, made no movement in that direction. "Will it be painful for you?"

Anna stopped, the cold trickling through her blood threatening the fire that raged through her. "You know I'm not-"

"You are." He insisted, his hands now smoothing over her skin and warming any part of her that turned cold. "Whatever that bastard took from you it wasn't that. That is yours to give only as you will."

"But he-"

John kissed Anna, his hand delving into her hair, scattering the curls there. When he pulled back Anna, with the weak light from the moon peeking through the slats in the windows, saw the glint in his eyes. "You're perfect."

"Then please continue." Anna risked a leg sliding over his and John moved closer so the conjoined scorch of their meeting skin settled where her body already wept for him. "I can't bear it any longer without you."

"Will your memories darken?"

Anna carded her fingers in his hair to hold him in place so he could see her eyes as well. "Not when you're here."

With a thrust, John seated himself inside her and Anna whimpered. John waited a moment, sliding to the edge before slipping forward again to reach deeper. The steady rocking motion soon put John as deeply inside her as he could go and they both paused. Neither moved, their chests pressing against one another as they tried to breathe, and tremors shook their muscles to vibrate and quiver where they joined as intimately as they could.

Anna lifted her hips and brought one of her legs up to wrap over his hip. Instinct rolled her body and she could almost smile to herself at the groan John allowed to escape him. But when he pulled to the edge and drove back inside her all jest was gone. They moved with one another, gripping and pulling to try and find a rhythm that suited them both.

Sweaty limbs, only worsened by the humidity, slipped and slid over one another to stick and catch when they responded to each other. Anna clawed at his shoulders and side, seeking purchase as sensations she remember from his months of teasing her buried her. John's hips shuffled and gyrated against her while strangled noises at the back of his throat gave way to grunts when his speed increased.

It was only when Anna hung on the edge, not knowing how to fall over on her own, that they finally synchronized. John's lips found her breasts, his hands returned to where her nerves cried for attention, and she found a secure hold at the back of his scalp. With the promised cry, Anna gave over to the burst of color behind her eyes and John followed her with the last stutters of his body.

They settled, John resting his head next to hers and trying to adjust so she did not bear his weight. Anna moved and they knocked knees against one another, dissolving into chuckles as they figured out how to lie facing one another. John's finger brushed an escaped strand of Anna's hair back and he smiled at her.

She returned the expression, kissing his knuckles and then tucking his hand between hers. "That was beautiful."

"Then you don't mind me having my way with you?" John's voice echoed the grin she traced there with a finger before she tipped forward to kiss him.

"Never." Anna stretched, a pull at muscles giving her a wince she was glad the darkness hid. "I could never regret this."

"I hope not." John took her left hand, kissing at the engagement ring there before intertwining their fingers. "You're everything I've ever wanted."

"So are you." Anna moved closer to him, resting her head between his and the pillow. "This… This is more than I could ever have dreamed having."

"You're my dream." John kissed the top of her head.

"Why'd you say that?" Anna played with his fingers, bringing theirs apart and back together again.

"Because, with you, I'm who I was always meant to be."

"I like that." Anna snuggled to him, her arm over his waist. "We'll have a scandal if we're discovered together in the morning."

"And you'll have a very confused little boy."

"James!" Anna went to rise but John pulled her back. "He's all alone."

"Anjana invited him to stay with Arjuna tonight." John soothed, "He'll be fine until morning."

Anna finally nodded, settling again. "I can't believe I forgot about him."

"That's why I'm here." John smiled against her cheek. "So you'll never have to remember it all on your own again… Lady Wuthering."

"Not yet." Anna warned but succumbed to John's kisses.


	12. Grand Affairs

Anna opened her eyes, faint gray light coming in through the windows now opened to the outside air. She blinked, confused as to what might have woken her, and then smiled. The gentle stroke of her hair had her turning her head to see John propped on his arm while the fingers of his other hand trailed in her hair. He matched her grin and continued running his fingers through her hair.

"Good morning."

"Good morning." Anna shifted again to bring herself closer to him but keep his fingers moving through her hair. "How early is it?"

"Early enough that we could move from here now and no one would know you were ever in my room."

"I don't think that's true at all." Anna snorted, trailing a finger down his chest. "Mary definitely noticed that I never left last night."

"She won't say anything."

"Can you be so sure?"

John nodded, "More than the fact that I keep tabs on her son, I've also learned a few things about Mrs. Mary Crawley that make it difficult for her to hold anything over me."

"I've got nothing on her."

"What I've got over her now covers for you." John caught Anna's fingers and kissed them. "I believe I failed you last night."

Anna pushed herself to sit up, leaning over him as John remained in position. "And how would you possibly figure that?"

"Well," John's fingers finished at the end of her hair and started running up her arm. "I promised that I would love you until you couldn't move and I'd wring every drop of pleasure from you."

Anna frowned, "Didn't you?"

"I could still move when we finished." John sighed, scowling at the hint of sun coming through the windows. "Unfortunately I can't fulfill on that promise now."

"Then we'll have something to look forward to when we honeymoon." Anna shivered as John's fingers traced nonsensical lines over her abdomen. "I'm sure you've already planned everything involved in that."

"I did think that you'd enjoy if we went to Amritsar to see the Golden Temple there." John sighed, "Or we could go back to England and I could take you on a tour of the lands you're going to own."

"I won't own them." Anna made a face at him, giggling when he tickled at her side before sighing as his fingers darted toward her now exposed clit.

"Everything that's mine will be yours." John pressed on her to open Anna's legs and turn her so her back was against the headboard while he rolled to put his shoulders between her thighs. "And it'll be my pleasure to give you yours for the rest of our lives."

Anna's fingers clung to the back of his scalp and dug into the covers of the bed to give herself a hold against the rush of pleasure he sent through her. John's fingers tapped against her clit and spread the skin there to press and rub until his tongue joined the fray. As it did so Anna let out a gasping cry that drove her fingers to tighten their grip until her nails dug crescent moons into his skin. A motion she thought would send him back but only drove his tongue to taunt her further.

So distracting was his tongue that Anna kicked out in surprise when John's fingers pried open her folds to better explore her. They slid back and forth, spreading the damp from the evening to mix with the results of his current efforts. One finger dragged along her from one end and the other scissored back to meet it before reversing the motion and leaving Anna to dig her heels into John's back as he maneuvered under her legs to more firmly grip at her ass with one hand to keep her in place.

His tongue stroked along her slit to end with a sucking motion at her clit until Anna could no longer form coherent sentences. Each stroke differed in depth, intensity, and spread as John moved between flat, broad strokes and his more careful pointed ones. With his fingers ensuring that no part of her was left untouched, Anna could only moan and whimper for release as the twisting, tightness from the night before and all his other seductive forays in dark hallways gathered to bring her out of herself.

When John rolled his tongue along her clit and delved into her with two fingers, Anna burst. Her shout echoed around the room and carried out the windows but she could not find the energy to monitor her volume. All she could do was twitch helplessly under the guidance of John's soothing murmurs and gentle strokes.

His kisses at the insides of her thighs brought her back as she quivered around him. Anna's eyes, even half-lidded as they were, met his and he smiled before kissing at her navel. "You are beautiful."

"You're only saying that because I've just bruised you." Anna's fingers attempted their own soothing ministrations but flailed as John licked back over her slit again. "John?"

"Did you know that there are instruction manuals in this country that tell a man how to properly see to a woman's pleasure?" His voice muffled as he nipped along the inside of one thigh, his fingers shifting inside her so Anna could finally understand they had never left when her muscles released him. "To ensure she's sated and satisfied?"

"What?" Anna pressed her head against the headboard, her neck arching with another lap of John's tongue before he suckled her folds.

"Because, to the wisest of the men in ancient tradition, ensuring a woman reaches her peak is more important than ensuring a man does."

"No-" Anna tried to argue but John's fingers inside her found a spot that sent her twitching and writhing about him until he added a third finger and brought her to moan.

"It's true. They say," John let his teeth graze over her skin before running his tongue back toward where soft sucking sounds came from his fingers delving deeper and deeper. "That a man is as easy to understand as a drum and does not need much to help him find release. A man's pleasure is as basic as breathing. But a woman's… She's far more complex."

John let his tongue glide through her folds, sucking back toward his fingers and then lapping at the taste of her. Anna clenched her entire body. Her internal walls succumbed to the attentions of his fingers and strangled them as he sucked her clit back into his mouth. When he bit down, just hard enough to allow her to feel the indentations on his teeth, Anna shrieked.

The force of whatever sensations rocked through her now surpassed her earlier rise without exception. Colors danced behind her eyes and she struggled to force air into her collapsing lungs. Lungs she could no longer expand as her chest constricted to match the tightening of all her muscles her body over.

Her hands shook and Anna could only find breath as John kissed up her chest toward her breasts. His mouth latching at her nipple drove Anna to breathe in with shock before sighing in pleasure. Pleasure John used to send her over the edge a third time when he met the unconscious buck of her hips with his thumb pressing on her nerves and his fingers still buried deep inside of her.

Anna collapsed onto the bed, nothing but a boneless mass as John leaned over her. He brought his fingers to his mouth and Anna noted the glisten there. A glisten that John soon replaced with his own as he sucked his fingers into his mouth to taste her again.

The sound he made, a deep humming in his throat, had Anna almost leaping into his unsuspecting arms as her own wrapped around his neck and shoulders. She tried to wrap a leg about his hip and urge herself closer to him but while John took her mouth with gusto, he would not take her body. Instead he turned them so his back hit the mattress and Anna sprawled over his chest.

She licked the taste of them, combine in his mouth, from her lips and went to speak but John put a finger over her mouth. "It'll be better for you this way."

"What way?"

"A way I think you'll enjoy as much as I will." John carefully maneuvered Anna's legs on either side of his hips and helped her rest back just enough so that John's arousal rested in the perfect crease of her ass. "It'll give you more control and ease the soreness."

"You know," Anna leaned forward onto her forearms, holding herself steady on John's chest, "You did fulfill on your promise."

"Did I?" John tried to smirk at her but he took his turn to gasp out as Anna used her carefully planned leverage to first rub against him until he thickened and heated on the skin of her ass and then slip over him enough to run her folds around him.

"You promised to leave me coaxed, seduced, and played until there was no more pleasure to wring from me." Anna ground down on him, biting at her lip in response to the tight cords of John's neck that stuck out for her to kiss and nip and lick until his fingers carded in her hair and his hand sought to control her at the hip. "And then you would take me as slowly as you physically could to let us fall over the edge together again."

"I did." John allowed through gritted teeth when Anna rolled against him to run the head of his erection against her clit.

"You served the first parts of your promise." Anna forced herself to focus past the delightful haze of his scorching arousal riding where she still wept so she could lower her mouth to his ear and whisper. "I think it's time for the last part."

"Please." Anna stopped, their eyes meeting again as John forced his open to stare at her. "Please join us."

With John's plea, almost begging for her attention, Anna lifted enough to position them and sank down. The stretch of him inside her, even from the night before and the diligent work of his fingers already, brushed each piece of her until Anna could not think. Her fingers dug into the skin of his chest and she gasped for air as she sought to fill herself to the brim. And when their hips joined, her body as close to his as she could be, Anna held herself there.

John's fingers kneaded the flesh of her thighs and then her ass, trying to guide Anna to move but her legs were gelatin. She closed her eyes, hauling in air to fill her lungs, and rocked forward. His shorter nails still left their bruising marks on her skin to steer Anna in her gyrations.

He allowed her free reign of him, following at her whim. When she sought a new position or a slightly altered approach, he only took control enough to show her how to perform the desired function before resting back to enjoy it. All the while her fingers continued to run over his chest to try and retrace the patterns she assumed he burned into her skin earlier.

Taking control of her rocking motions, Anna forced herself to twist and gyrate until her thighs burned with the effort. And they burned again, in a new way, when she set to bobbing up and down with fervor until the frenetic pace overcame her. The final sheathing, thrusting herself down onto John as hard as she could, stole what little air remained in Anna's lungs as she came with a high-pitched cry. One John echoed in a deeper, more guttural sound as he took control.

His hips snapped into hers, the sticky slap of skin meeting skin echoing about the room in an ever-growing cacophony of noise. Anna lost herself in the frenzied pace he set, holding tightly to him until he finally finished inside her. They sagged together, the aftershocks urging them to buck their hips until they settled to final stutters. Stutters that left Anna trembling and shaking on John's chest while their hearts synchronized.

Golden beams painted the far wall and Anna groaned into John's skin. He stroked through her hair, echoing the motions that woke her at the beginning, and kissed by her temple before he whispered to her. "We'd better be about our business."

"I know." Anna pushed herself enough to rest her chin on her hands, still supported on his chest so John looked over his nose and chin at her. "Will I still have much to do when I'm Lady John Wuthering?"

"More." John snatched a hand, kissing it before turning them so Anna slid to the mattress. "You'll still have the school, if you want it, and you'll also have to help me host parties and balls and events and-"

Anna pressed her lips to his, silencing him and then sinking into the kiss when their fingers mimicked one another to sink into one another's hair. She pulled away first, grinning at his confusion and the instinct of his lips to continue moving. "Then I'd better get to my duties since I'm not yet needed to help you plan your events."

"You're always needed."

"But I've other people who, for the moment, need me more." Anna pushed herself onto her hands and knees. "Although I would love to spend all day here with you."

"You would?"

"Don't go looking for more compliments to stoke your vanity or I'll never get your ego through the door." Anna eased off the bed, moving slowly as her body tried to comprehend vertical motion. Hands held her hips and John guided her toward the water basin. "Thank you."

"I did say you wouldn't have the energy to move."

"You did." Anna rested her hands on the vanity and sighed as John took the cloth to her body. "Are you trying to wash me or arouse me?"

"Can I not do both?" John kissed the back of her thigh, running the cloth up her legs to wipe away the evidence of their evening and morning. "I'd much rather do both if I can."

"Perhaps another time." Anna glanced toward the large clock, ticking away in the corner and groaned. "When we have time."

"There's something you'll learn as Lady of the house." John finished with a final kiss to her navel before taking the cloth to himself. "There is never enough time."

"Then we'll have to make some in the future." Anna eased toward her dress and frowned at it. "In future I'll need something more appropriate than skulking back to my home in last night's dress."

"In future, you'll be sleeping in here and you won't need to skulk anywhere." John turned to face her but stopped. "Have I said something wrong?"

"Why would you think that?"

"Your face, just now." John hemmed and hawed with his hands. "When I suggested… I didn't mean to assume…"

"John." Anna grabbed his hands, her underclothes sticking to the damp parts of her body, helped not at all by the heat and humidity already striking with full force. "I thought it one of the most romantic offers I've ever received."

"Really?"

"Yes." Anna brushed hair back from his forehead, her fingers delicately tracing over his face. "And while I'd enjoy us traveling to Amritsar or England I think, for now, we'd best stay close to our friends here."

"Are you nervous about something?"

"I know that I've made no more friends from your class in this decision to accept your proposal. I'd wager I made far more enemies, your cousin included, and for now I think we need to weigh the social cost of us gallivanting off as if you were showing the world what you think of their rules."

"They are ridiculous."

"But they are the ways of the world, John, and they need to be respected." Anna took his hands in hers, marveling at how they dwarfed her. "At least until we know how to skirt them before shirking them completely."

"I heartily agree with that plan." John kissed her hands and broke away to help her into her dress so he could tie the laces at the back. "Just as heartily as I await your decision on where we should take our honeymoon."

"Goa."

"Goa?" John made a surprised noise in his throat as he managed trousers, sandals, and his dressing gown. "Do you speak Portuguese?"

"No but I'm confident we could find ourselves a translator if we really thought it necessary." Anna dipped to peer into the mirror enough to set her hair somewhat aright before turning back to John. "Unless you've been."

"Not as yet but I don't deal in trade affairs or the Portuguese." John opened his door and peeked into the hall. "I believe the term used is, 'the coast is clear'."

"Very funny." Anna eased past him and went to argue as John joined her.

"Ah," John held up a finger, "I'll brook no argument."

"I can walk myself the short distance to my home alone."

"And you think I'd let you walk alone like you were a woman I only wanted for the evening and then disposed of in the morning?" John caught Anna's hand, stopping them at the top of the stairs. "You're going to be my wife, Anna. You're not my mistress or a prostitute or anything that bears any shame so I won't have you walk as if you should carry any."

"How very touching." Both of them stiffened as Thomas pulled himself into the corridor, tapping a fag against the metal case he used to carry them. A match struck and gave his face an eerie glow for a moment as the end of the cigarette flared up. He shook the match out so the tendril of smoke wafted up before he crushed the little wooden stick in his hand. "Although I guess you're not the blushing maiden you pretend for the public are you?"

"What are you doing Thomas?" John shifted, shielding Anna with his body.

"I found myself woken by the strangest of noises this morning." He sucked more of the foul air into his lungs before blowing a puff of the smoke toward the ceiling. "A bit of screeching and moans like someone suffering a bad bout of dysentery. Naturally I got up to see if I could help."

"Naturally?" John spit, "It's unnatural for you to help anyone but yourself."

"As it happened, the sources of the noise were your bedroom and I figured my presence wasn't necessary." Thomas flicked a bit of ash from the tip of his fag and used it as a pointer between his fingers when he gestured toward them. "I'm sure you both know all about that. Unless someone else in your house was engaging in copulative activities early in the morning."

"Why are you here Thomas?" John advanced on him, Anna grabbing for his arm.

"Oh no Ms. Smith." Thomas took another drag before dropping it and the remains of the match onto the floor to grind them out with the toe of his shoe. "He's all bluster and no action. His service to Queen and Country drove all his courage from him so you need not worry he'll strain himself bothering with me."

"Answer the question." John punctuated each word with a breath to stop himself seething through his teeth.

"I'm here to wish my cousin a happy engagement and witness the wedding." Thomas shrugged, "What other duties do I bear as your heir?"

"Not for very much longer."

"That greatly depends on Ms. Smith, doesn't it?" Thomas nodded at her. "I know she's carried one bastard but could she find it in her unworthy frame to carry a titled child? Will it even be your child? For all we know she-"

Whatever Thomas wanted to suggest everyone already knew drowned in the gurgling sound he made after the crack John brought to his nose. The surprise of the assault toppled him into the wall so he was helpless against John's second fist as it impacted his jaw and rolled his eyes into his head. He slumped, eyes blinking intermittently as he tried to move.

"John!" Anna's hands flew over her mouth before she tugged on his sleeve. "Is he alright? Did you-"

"I hope he's not alright." John shook out his hand, inspecting the red knuckles and broken skin. "And I didn't kill him if that's your worry."

"I don't…" Anna gaped, "What do we do?"

"Let his man come and take care of him." John snapped his fingers and a timid, gangly man hurrying toward them. "Get him back to his room and get the doctor to see to him. Hopefully I knocked a few teeth loose but otherwise he should be fine in a few hours save the pounding in his head and whatever else I might've have jumbled about."

"Yes your lordship." The man jumped to it as John pivoted to escort Anna down the stairs.

"Don't mind a word he says."

"I…" Anna stopped John at the base of them. "I don't, John. I don't mind what he might say about me because I know he's wrong. But I do mind what he's said about you and how it makes you feel."

John frowned, "What did he say?"

"Nothing. He didn't-"

"I saw him corner you on the stairs and I know he said something." John put a hand on Anna's arm, the pleading in his eyes so different from the begged words earlier that kept them both in thrall. "What did he say?"

"He intimated that you weren't able to have children and that's why the late Lady Wuthering sought other companions." Anna put her hands to John's face, trying to force him to face her. "It's not true. I know it's not true and so do you. Don't allow him space in your mind to-"

"I always worried it was me." John slumped sideways, falling onto a cushioned bench and letting his arms rest on his legs. "I worried we couldn't bear children because I couldn't have them."

"John." Anna bent before him, kneeling between his legs. "I don't believe that and you shouldn't either."

"What if it's true?" John grasped Anna's hands, holding her eyes with his fear and his heart at its most open and vulnerable. "What if we never have children and I'm the cause?"

"What if I'm the cause?"

"You've already had a child." John shook his head. "It couldn't be you."

"But it could." Anna squeezed his hands back just as tightly, raising them slightly before dropping both of their arms into his lap. "The midwife who delivered James told me there was damage. She worried all the bleeding could mean that there was… That something was wrong inside."

"Anna-"

"No." Anna put her finger on John's lips. "We'll not let our fears stop us anymore than we'll let that pestilential man up there stop us."

She took a breath, "I didn't accept your proposal to allow fear to stop us."

John gave her a smile, moving her finger from his mouth to kiss her hand before cupping along her jaw with his hand. "Do you never doubt?"

"No." Anna shook her head, turning toward his palm to kiss there before biting him hard enough to make his eyes widen. "But I don't doubt the sun'll rise in the East either."

"You are an irreplaceable woman Anna Smith."

"And you're," Anna pulled his hands back to hers and used her leverage to get them both to their feet. "Irreplaceable to me."

They walked hand-in-hand back to her house as the sun rose. Anna opened the door and listened, her mouth twitching up into a smile. "I guess my son isn't back from the fun he's having with his friend somewhere that's not here."

"We all enjoy being somewhere else for a bit." John closed the door behind him, removing his shoes as he entered her home and cringing when she frowned at him. "Should I not?"

"You never have before."

"I just thought…" John went to slip his feet back into the sandals but Anna put her hand on his arm to stop him.

"I want you to feel comfortable here." She slipped her hand down his arm to intertwine their fingers and pull him further into the house.

They padded into her bedroom and Anna sat him on the edge of her smaller bed so she could kiss him. John's hands stroked along her arms and up to tangle into her hair as she removed his dressing gown and found the button holding his trousers around his hips. His swift shift let them drop to his ankles and Anna hurried to remove her clothing to join him.

John wrapped an arm around her waist as if to move them but Anna stopped him with a hand on his chest. Her smile eased the furrows in his brow as she moved to straddle his thighs. Their fingers traced over one another, Anna's finding their way around his rising arousal and his making their familiar way back between her folds.

Looking into one another's eyes, the only sounds exchanged between them the harshness of their labored breathing, they rose toward the edge of glorious climax. Before John could send Anna soaring over the edge she withdrew her hand to catch his wrist. He frowned and Anna kissed it away as she shank down on him.

The stretch was almost second nature now and they found a rhythm together. Her nails scraped over his shoulders to rake red lines over his back as John's fingers left their own bruises over her hips and ass. Their mouths melded and broke like waves until it was just as impossible to breathe as it was to not seek for life-giving air. But they persisted and soon Anna clawed at the back of John's head to bring him closer to the breast he teased with his eager mouth.

Her motions turned erratic, rising and falling with all the energy and effort she could manage from her position until she locked her ankles around his back to hold herself in place to meet his thrusts as she took him deeper. Each drive into her led to an equivalent bob or twist or clutch of her walls about him until neither could fill their lungs. At the moment they rose to the peek together, their mouths met and they swallowed one another's moans of pleasure.

Sweat stuck to them as they clung together in the quiet of the morning.


	13. And Grander Events

Anna inspected the table of offerings and turned to Mary, tossing her hands into the air. "I don't know. How does someone know if they've chosen the right things?"

"Most people train for this." Mary inspected something and made a face. "I'm not trained but I've attended too many functions to feign ignorance. And since we couldn't procure someone here fast enough, I'll have to do."

"You're already better at this than I am since I've never attended anything as grand as my own wedding.." Anna let her shoulders sag. "This alone should prove I'm not made for this."

"That's nonsense." Mary shook her head, dusting her finger along the plate before frowning. "Everything can be learned. This is a skill not born in the blood but bred into the bone. We can breed it into you as well."

"Like your etiquette lessons?"

"We all must suffer when we bear these burdens." Mary made a note and turned back to Anna. "Have you decided on a destination for your honeymoon?"

"Goa."

"I'm not a fan of the Portuguese myself but I have heard good things about their beaches. I'm sure you should find some suitable ones to stroll." Mary took stock of another set of plates before shaking her head. "No, those just won't do. They don't match the house crests."

"I've not got one."

"I've submitted a list of options." Mary turned a page in the little notebook she held and showed Anna. "They're ones that will complement Lord John's arms nicely and reflect the parts of your personality I think you're best exemplifying when you stand by his side in the future."

"Stand by his side?" Anna frowned, "I don't understand."

"One day Lord John will be the new Viceroy of India." Mary shook her head, "He's not in direct line for the English throne but they'll not let him go to waste out here since he's rarely in England."

"He's going to be Viceroy?"

"Yes." Mary ticked something on another page before taking Anna's arm. "He's… He's a low risk to the Royals and that's why they'll use him."

"Use him?"

"Think about it." Mary gestured around them. "You've this marvelous house, his estates here, whatever lands and estates he holds in Scotland, Ireland, and England, and yet he's never made a fuss, not one for pompous display, and he's gathered no cronies. He's sycophant-less, which I find very comforting, and he keeps to himself. He's the perfect choice."

"Because he's nonthreatening?"

"Because Lord John will never have any intention of ever holding the throne. He's far enough away that the list of people who'd have to die to give it to him is comfort enough but his personality means he's a soldier. They say go and he merely asks for directions."

"And I'm a benefit to that?"

"The fact that his second marriage was neither for political nor monetary gain- not as if he needed either- means he intends on a quiet life." Mary snorted, "Given the behaviors of his cousin and many of the royalty, nobility, and gentry I've met in my life I'd find that a rather refreshing take on the lifestyle."

"It's one of the reasons I fell in love with him." Anna sighed and nodded at Mary's book. "Allow me another look at the arms?"

"Of course." Mary flipped back to the page and held it still for Anna. "They'll be embossed on all the invitations and part of the crests made especially for the plates you'll be using at your wedding and all the rest of the ceremonies."

"Seems a useless extravagance."

"It's traditional and, unfortunately, we cling to tradition where the reach of the Empire tends toward the weaker."

"This one." Anna tapped one with a rose wrapping delicately around the caduceus. "I like this one."

"I didn't think you would, given you're not a doctor, but I guess teaching is a kind of medicine isn't it?" Mary made a note. "It was one of my favorites of the choices."

"And it'll go on the plates?"

"And a lot of other things but, speaking of the plates." Mary dragged Anna down the line to where two dozen different plates waited. "Which design and what size?"

Anna survived the afternoon, her eyes glazing when row after row of options steadily drained away to leave only a few decisions about silverware left. Just when she went to try and answer another question about the exact color of a napkin for the table, something ran into her. She looked down and smiled in relief to see James there, grinning up at her from under her arm, and twisted to hug him.

"I am so glad to see you." She kissed his forehead and he squirmed from her grip. "How was your day?"

"Mrs. Harding is amazing. Can she teach me every day?"

"I'm comforted to know I'm so easily replaced." Anna pivoted to face Mary. "I should leave the rest of this for tomorrow."

"I know that it'll keep." Mary made a final note and tucked her notebook away. "Although I'm impressed."

"How's that?"

"For someone with no experience in this, you've a knack for it." Mary inspected the table again, "It's a bit like a puzzle you were born to solve."

"That's giving me a bit more credit than I deserve."

"I've seen it in some. They're just naturals with how things need to fit together." Mary looked down at James. "And what about you? Are you ready to take your title and your suit for your mother's wedding?"

"I've not got a title."

"Not yet." Mary raised her head to meet Anna's eyes. "I'm sure it's something your mother and Lord John've been working out betwixt them."

"It's… in process." Anna put her hands on James's shoulders and he tilted his head up to her. "You are excited that Mr. Bates is about to be your father though, aren't you?"

"He's wonderful." James slipped from Anna's grasp and peered over the things on the table. "What are all these for?"

"The very boring part of when your mother gets married." Mary joined James, showing him the pieces. "These are for the dinners and the ceremonies she'll have to go through since she's marrying Lord John."

"But these are too fine for him." James held up a spoon. "He won't like them."

"He's right." Anna nodded at them, holding her arms at her waist. "He rather likes simple things."

"Simple's not the word I'd use." They all jumped as John entered the room. "Refined or tasteful are much better words for it."

"Then you'll be pleased that the future Lady John Wuthering understands that." Mary came over to him, sidestepping James's investigation of the items on the table, to show John. "She's already arranged more than three-fourths of the list and chosen your combined arms."

"She is quite the incredible woman." John winked at Anna, looking over the list as she grabbed James's hand in time to save a glass vase. "Which is why I need to speak to her alone for a moment."

"Just a moment?" Mary bent to speak to James. "I think we'll be bored waiting for them. Why don't we find George and take a little trip into town?"

"Can I?" James turned to his mother so quickly his hair flopped on his head. "Can I go?"

"If Mary promises to keep an eye on you I don't see why Mrs. Crawley couldn't be trusted to keep her eyes on you." Anna kissed the top of James's head and turned to Mary. "If you could have him back before supper?"

"I'll do my best but, if not, we'll have him dine with us at the Embassy and send him back in the morning with George before Matthew and I have to go on another of our dreadful tours."

"So soon?"

"Given some increasing tensions in the north, they want us to take some time and seek resolutions." Mary sighed, "Not that we've much hope. Not after Lucknow and what happened there."

"Is Mr. Crawley having a difficult time earning back the people's trust?"

"I wouldn't claim that we, the British Raj, had much of it to begin with given we invaded their homes and took them for ourselves." Mary shook herself, "But we won't be leaving on our official trip until after the wedding. The Embassy wants full representation at such a grand event."

"You make it sound so important." Anna fidgeted. "Where I grew up you had tiny little affairs in churches with the man of God you'd known your entire life presiding over the service and everyone you'd known your whole life filling the pews before you all scattered to the wedding breakfast."

"I prefer that." John sighed, "Each of my weddings becomes the event of the year and I'd rather just a quiet little ceremony."

"Unfortunately for you both, Lord John here had a title attached at the end of his name from the time he was in the cradle and it ruled out any little churches."

"Even for my second wedding?"

"In England, maybe not." Mary circled her finger in the air. "But here..."

"I guess we're an 'event' then." John took Anna's hand as the other one ruffled James's hair. "You'll mind Mrs. Crawley yes?"

"Yes."

"Then," John turned to Anna, "I don't see any reason why he shouldn't be on his way."

"You're right," Anna kissed his cheek and nodded at James. "Be good."

"Yes mother." He pelted off into the garden, shouting for George and Anna grinned when she heard the two of them crowing about the news.

"Children, so excitable. I don't know how you manage." Mary kissed both of Anna's cheeks before curtseying to John. "I'll see you both tomorrow."

"Please tell Mr. Crawley that I'll give him whatever introductions he may need in the north to try and help with smoothing things over."

"He'll be very grateful and I'm sure he'll tell you when he knows exactly where they're sending us." Mary waved at them both, "Good evening to you both."

They watched her go before John raised the hand of Anna's he still held and kissed her fingers. "How are you?"

"Exhausted and all I did was select dishware." Anna pouted, "Why is this so much harder than tending to children?"

"Because children give you something. These," He waved a hand over the table. "They're just things and they don't matter."

"They'll matter to someone."

"But not to either of us." John tugged on her hand. "Come, there is something I wanted to discuss with you."

"Is it not appropriate to discuss it here?"

"It's not the right place for this." John put a hand to her face and kissed her, as if to quiet the fears running as furrows on her brow. "It's nothing to worry about. In fact, it's rather good news."

"What is it?"

"In the library." John led them across the courtyard of the house and into the library. He closed and locked the door before pointing Anna toward a table in the middle. "It's just there."

Anna walked to it, bending over to view a legal document. "What is this?"

"It's the first of three forms that will need your signature." John came around the circular table, pushing a bottle of ink closer to her. "This one is our marriage license and declares you my wife."

"And the next one," Anna's shaking fingers moved the paper away to view the one right beneath it. "What is it?"

"It's my amended will. It verifies that you, James, and whatever children we bear together will inherit my estate but you'll be the Executor. It'll be in your hands to administer and divide what's left of me when I die."

"John-" Anna turned to him but John raised a finger.

"It'll happen one day Anna. And these things need to be decided early so we're ready when they do come. I won't have you caught unprepared and I won't have you held hostage by Thomas, should it come to that."

"How is Thomas?" Anna cringed, twisting her fingers.

"He did not lose any teeth and he's been brooding in his rooms."

"I hope I didn't-"

John shook his head. "He makes his own decisions, Anna. And what he said about you was unforgivable."

"Hence the changes to your will?"

"I don't want that man touching anything I love or value." John moved closer to Anna. "I won't have him closer enough to hurt you."

"He won't." Anna put her hand on John's cheek, running her thumb over the bone as if to soothe them both. "He'll not have us."

"I should hope not." John kissed her palm and nodded at the table. "You've still got one more page to go."

Anna turned to it, reading it quickly before a hand covered her mouth. She twisted to look back at John, noting the broad spread of his smile, and failed to find words to express her emotions. "This is… This says…"

"It says that James Harrison Smith is my child. It claims him as my son and gives him an inheritance." John handed Anna the pen, "I'd like you to sign them so they can be official. So we can make them ours, together."

She took the pen but dropped it on the table to throw her arms around John's shoulders. Holding close to him, she sobbed into his jacket while trying to speak. But words failed her and all she could do was embrace John as his arms wrapped around her.

"I promised you, Anna. I promised that I'd do everything in my power to make you happy and this is just the start of it." He kissed her temple and she pulled back, her trembling hands wiping at the tears leaking from her eyes. "The start of a life full of joy and happiness."

"I'm… I'm so happy I can hardly speak." Anna took the pen, laughing at the sight of her quivering fingers holding it. "I can hardly write."

"Just do your best then."

Anna laughed with him, shaking herself and dipping the pen to sign all the forms. "Shouldn't there be some sort of official here to ensure that we're doing this correctly?"

"My lawyers are just outside the door and they'll check over it all when we're done." John rolled on the balls of his feet a moment. "I thought you'd want to do this privately."

"Thank you." Anna finished, putting down the pen to put her hand to his cheek. "This is… This is better than I've ever even dreamed for myself."

"Even if you had to go over three dozen patterns for plates?"

"Even if it'd been a hundred." Anna half-turned back to the table, pressing the air over the documents. "Won't this… Won't this change things, for you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Marrying me and changing your will, those are things one expects when you take on a wife but…" Anna motioned toward the third document. "Claiming James as your son… Won't that ruin your reputation?"

"To say my reputation was spotless before is not entirely accurate."

"But Mary said-"

"Mary's not wrong in her assumptions. I am a… not a favorite, of the Royal Family, but definitely preferred to some of my other relatives because I keep to myself. However, I was married to Vera and that kind of association doesn't exactly leave one unscathed when all is said and done." John shrugged, "You met my wife. I'm sure you'd understand if there are some skeletons in my wardrobe that others might try to use against me already."

"Not to mention the scandal of marrying a woman with a child from another incident who's neither title nor money to offer to your marriage?"

"I've title and money so I don't need them." John took Anna's hands. "And what you and I have is… It's nothing like I've ever had with anyone else and if I gave that up for something as trivial as a title or an estate or anything besides then I'd be a damned fool who deserved whatever unhappy ending that would guarantee for me."

"You mean that?"

"Anna," John stepped closer to her, "I'd give up everything if it meant that you and I were together. Nothing else matters to me in this world more than you."

Anna slipped her hands from his and grabbed the lapels on his jacket to pull him to her. Their mouths crashed together before crushing as closely as they could manage. Panting breaths and heaving chests bumped and met as they came together and separated like two people seeking the perfect position.

She broke away first, her fingers quivering as they continued to cling to his jacket. Resting her head on his chest, rising and falling with his struggles to inhale, Anna whispered. "We should go."

"Why?"

"Your lawyers are outside the door and I'd hate to make them wait."

John tipped her head up, ghosting kisses over her face before pausing at her lips, "Then let them wait."

"John?"

"I asked once," His breath blew over her ear and she shivered the tiniest bit despite the heat and humidity. "If you wished I spoke to you a bit more scandalously more often. If you wanted me to seduce you in dark corners with salacious promises and impertinent suggestions."

He paused, nipping at her earlobe. "Do you remember that Anna?"

"Yes."

"Then you'll recall how I said I wanted to lay you out on my bed and love you until neither of us could move?" His hands sculpted down the sides of her corset and he pulled at her skirts to bring them over the smaller hoops. "Do you remember when I made good on that promise?"

"Yes." Anna's head went back, only just noticing how John had backed her into a table that lined the side wall.

"Do you remember another promise I made?" His hands glided up her legs, trailing and tickling at her stockings and garters while he skated higher.

"Which one?"

"The one where I told you I wanted to spread you over a table and devour you like a feast." John's lips skated over her neck, kissing and nibbling between darts of his tongue to find the places sweat beaded on her skin. "Of all the places I imagined bringing you out of yourself to give you the most exquisite pleasure."

His hands spread over her hips and smoothed to her ass. "Do you recall?"

"Yes."

"This is me fulfilling another promise I made to you."

His lips finally met hers and Anna moaned into his mouth as his hands at her ass pulled her close enough to mold against him. They swayed and sagged toward the table, Anna throwing a hand behind her to stop them toppling sideways into the wood. But a moment later John attempted to shove her skirts higher. When they prevented him, John only gave a wolfish smile before dropping to his knees and maneuvering himself under her skirts.

Anna grabbed the table, turning her knuckles white while digging the pattern of the wood into her palms, and threw her head back to try and open her airway so her lungs would fill. But the sensation of John's lips tracing their way up her legs before his hands rolled her stockings down to remove with her shoes distracted her. And his removal of her knickers to drag down her legs and leave in a growing pile left Anna with no air at all.

The first dart of his tongue caught a sound in her throat. The second weakened her knees. The third left the slight taste of blood as she bit her lip.

Thick, flat strokes ran over her as if teasing water from a block of ice. Then pointed investigations as if seeking pieces of her to be carefully retrieved without disturbing anything else. Finally, with his hands holding her thighs and moving them apart, the swirling suck of him where the nerves bundle and bunch as if made explicitly for his attentions. Attentions he lavished without reserve and interspersing his earlier motions like intervals and triads played in different combinations to find the perfect resonances. A resonance that left Anna gasping and squealing in pleasure as her hands attempted to mold themselves permanently to the table behind her.

When her legs shook, her body wrenching and twisting as it attempted to explain the pleasure moving through her like lightning, Anna let out a cry. A cry that only escalated and grew when John pulled deeply at her nerves before skating his tongue through her folds to delve into her opening. With that she broke.

Sobbing her finish, the force of sheer will power keeping her in the semblance of standing, Anna tried to look down where John emerged from her skirts. He ran his tongue over his lips and skated his hands over her skirt to find the clasps that kept it tight to her. They loosened and fell to the floor, followed by her hoops and petticoats.

John stepped over the makeshift snowdrift to lift Anna onto the table, seating her on the edge as his fingers took to the delicate task of loosening her corset catches and leaving the piece to fall to the floor. With her ass bare on the wood she could almost claim it chilled her but with the sweat beading down her back between her shoulder blades and catching on the hem of her chemise, Anna knew that was not true. And when John removed her last piece of clothing she could only shiver in anticipation.

"I've wanted to do this since I first undressed you." John murmured, caressing her skin with his delicate hands. "I wanted to truly expose you but all we had were candles and I could not see you."

"You saw me the morning afterward."

"No. I saw a version of you."

"But it was me." Anna tried to argue, her eyes fluttering closed when he left the whisper of kisses on her mouth so she could almost taste herself there. "And then you saw me again, in my house. It was light then."

"But you weren't bared before." John paused, stepping between her opening legs. "Before you bore the fears and worries of so much and now…"

He smiled against the skin of her neck, kissing toward her ear. "Now you're freed from clothing and fears. Now I can truly see you."

Anna risked her balance to put her hands on either side of John's face and bring their lips together. Her body moved against the smooth scratch of his clothes while trying to move them off his body. John only sacrificed his jacket and his tie before holding at Anna's hips again and delve deeper into her mouth.

She tilted on the table, her legs wrapping his waist to find a better position to balance herself, and keened at the sensation of his trousers pressing the evidence of his arousal against her. John adjusted against her, gently thrusting toward her as he kissed over her shoulder, and slid his hands down her back to grasp at her ass. A motion that brought them even closer so Anna could rub herself over him.

But as she reached forward to expose him, John leaned Anna over the table so her back met the smooth surface. He put his lips over hers, kissing her deeply as his hands shifted from her ass to her thighs to spread them wider over her hips. When he broke the kiss, leaving Anna whimpering as his fingers played over her delicate nerves, John left a trail of kisses down the column of her neck. Kisses that moved to her breasts and allowed him to suckle deeply at her nipples while his fingers sank deeply inside her.

Anna cried out, one of her hands grasping at John's shoulder to dig her fingers into the material of his shirt. She tugged there as his tongue circled her nipple to guide his kisses before sucking deeply at her. His fingers crooked inside her to drag across a spot that left her arching her back and pressing her breasts closer to his mouth.

John moved over her, adoring her other breast as much as the first, and added another finger to his work inside her. She writhed against him, rutting her hips against his hand to move him deeper inside her as his kisses continued lower to dip his tongue into her navel before going back to her nerves. The moment his mouth settled there, his lips kissing lightly at her skin, she tensed. And then released as John sucked deeply there to send her over the edge.

Her chest rose and feel quickly, pulling her back almost entirely off the table, as John's kisses moved back over to her mouth. She held to him, trying to pull him closer to her and keened when his hands tugged her toward the edge of the table. Their hands met as they struggled to open his trousers and only paused as Anna adjusted her legs around his hips. In the next second they joined together and Anna dug her nails into John's arm.

They shifted and shunted together, clawing as if trying to sink into one another's skin, before John tipped Anna back onto the table. She widened her legs and pulled his lips to hers as his speed increased. The sturdy table scooted slightly over the floor to bump into the wall but Anna ignored it in favor of continuing to explore John's mouth to find all traces of her taste there and take it back for herself. A struggle he resisted as he tried to deepen the taste of her in his own mouth.

Their hips met and the thud of blood in Anna's ears could not cover the sound of their wet meeting as John sought to escape her slick embrace before driving back as deeply inside her as he could manage. They skidded against one another as Anna tightened her legs around his hips to hold him even closer as their fingers met at her nerves. She quivered and shook as she fell over the edge again as John finished.

The final stutters of their bodies, skipping and twitching against one another, left Anna boneless on the table. She closed her eyes, basking in the sensations tingling over her, and tried to breathe. The gentle kisses over her abdomen had her lifting her head to see John.

"I believe you've fulfilled your promise with skill." Anna ran her hand through John's hair and brought herself to sit up as John shifted to stay level with her. "And I'm feeling incredible satisfied."

"I feel that maybe you should consider wearing a sari, in the future." John pointed to the dress on the floor. "That was far too difficult to remove."

"Then you'll also have to consider wearing what the Indian men wear." Anna tugged on John's shirt. "No more buttons and jackets and waistcoats and-"

"I understand." John kissed Anna's hands. "But I think you're confused."

"About?"

"I'm not finished." John helped Anna from the table and turned her so he stood behind her. "Remember when the Ambassador came to visit?"

"Yes." Anna shivered, shifting against John as his erection thickened a bit. "But I'd like to change it a bit."

"What?"

"First," Anna turned, putting her arms around John's shoulders. "I won't be bare alone. I want to see you as well."

John smiled and dipped his head to unbutton his waistcoat. Anna just watched, only shifting her arms when he needed to remove his shirt or flexing with him as he dropped his trousers and pants to the floor. When they stood, close but only touching with Anna's hands on John's shoulders and his hands on her waist, he whispered to her.

"Now what?"

"Second, I want to show you a bit more care as well."

"What?"

"I do remember," Anna drew her hands over John's chest, leaving her own trail of kisses over his neck and shoulders. "That I once whispered all the things I wanted to do to you when I could touch you in public."

"We're not in public."

"In private then." Anna went on her tiptoes to leave a kiss at John's lips. "Because I distinctly remember telling you that I wanted to taste you."

"Anna-"

"No," She put her finger over his mouth. "It's my turn now."

With her hands on his body to support her descent, Anna went to her knees and wrapped a hand around his livening arousal. John's hands gripped the edge of the table on either side of her head as she tightened her hold. And with each consecutive exploratory motion his knuckles whitened a bit more.

"Have you thought about it?" She whispered, running her lips over his hips as John bucked and shifted above her. "About what it would feel like?"

"What?"

"Me, tasting you." Anna's tongue darted out to run the length of him. "Because I have. I've spent time considering exactly how I'd do it."

"Anna!"

"Because it's not like what you do to me, is it?" Anna eased her tongue over him again, dipping into the slit in a way that jerked John's hips toward her. "It's different when you're inside, searching. Here, you're all exposed and removed."

She paused, a steady twitch in her hand as her breath wafted over him, "Do you think it's different?"

"Yes." Anna tilted her head up to see the muscle flexing in John's jaw as his teeth ground together. "It's different."

"Then you've thought about it?"

"Yes."

"Did you wonder if it'd feel the same?" Anna skirted around the edge of him before positioning herself on her knees.

"Yes."

"Then I guess we can both stop wondering."

She took him in her mouth and his entire body shuddered. Anna held at his thighs, directing her amateur motions to try and replicate the way her body moved when he was inside her. But when her tongue wrapped over him she realized the extent of possibilities.

Pulling to the edge, running over him, and even scraping a bit with her teeth set him grunting and groaning above her. Anna flicked her eyes upward and noticed John's chin tilted toward the ceiling as if praying to some god to give him the patience to withstand her ministrations. So she waited, her fingers tauntingly tracing at his sack, until he lowered his gaze. When their eyes met she took him as deeply as she could manage and pulled along him.

John's legs almost buckled and it only took him a moment to get Anna to her feet. His mouth moved as if to speak but words failed him and all he could do was kiss her fiercely. A kiss Anna returned and wrapped herself as close to him as possible.

But a moment later his chest was to her back and her hands took the place of his on the table. "The Ambassador."

"John?"

"I came up behind you and used my fingers here." His fingers replicated their positions on that night, drawing over her folds and dipping deeply into her so Anna shuddered and shook as she held the table. "I wanted to take you right there but the skirts were in the way."

"Show me." Anna breathed and then turned over her shoulder. "Show me now please."

John's leg separated hers and his fingers continued to spread her wide and trace over her to pull the sticky wetness there all over her. She sighed and keened at the draw of his erection over her ass and then between her legs as if taking a measure of her. A moment later he entered her in a single motion.

Anna's breath caught in her throat and she slumped forward toward the table. John's hands caressed over her, molding at her ass and massaging her breasts as he made small motions inside her so she could adjust to the new position. His lips at her ear sent shivers through that his body replicated with tiny adjustments and thrusts.

"You feel better this way."

"What?"

"You wanted to know which I preferred." John slowly drew out, holding at the edge, and then drove forward with his hands holding at her hips to keep her in place. "I think your mouth is wonderful but I prefer this. You cling to me better this way."

"You're much deeper." Anna closed her eyes, supporting herself on her forearms and pressing back so her as moved in the cradle of John's hips. "It's… It's… I never imagined it like this."

"We'll find these things together." He kissed along her jaw and let his tongue guide their motions when their mouths met. "We'll find what we like together."

"Anything with you is something I like." Anna dug her nails into his thigh and moved herself lower over the table so her arm could move between them. Her fingers flicked and then squeezed at his sack to leave John growling in her ear. "Do you-?"

"Please continue." John thrust faster, his steady pace succumbing to the frantic desire between them. "Keep touching me."

Anna contorted her body so they moved together and he hit the places inside her that sent lightning through her body again. Each motion was an adjustment and an experience as they found the rhythm, speed, and frenetic passion they desired until all that was left was the press of their skin together and their harsh breathing as they came down together.

John moved them to a sofa and lay across it with Anna held close to him. His fingers brushed at her hair, taking the escaped strands to try and move them out of the way. She giggled and pressed at his hair as it stuck in many different directions.

"I think your lawyers waited long enough."

"Too long." John confided, stealing a kiss. "But I don't want to move."

"We have to move. We've got responsibilities now." Anna drew her fingers along his jaw. "But, since James is off with Mary, I could share your room tonight, if you wish."

"I always wish." John kissed her again. "I have other things I want to do to you and if we're alone then…"

"You're very confident."

"Always." He sighed with her. "I love you Anna."

"I love you too." Anna pushed herself to sit up. "But we do need to get up."

"Fine." John kissed under her chin. "But no later than eleven this evening."

"I'll be there."


	14. The Golden Time Convents

Anna shivered and held her head still as Anjana arranged the tiara on her hair. She met her eyes in the mirror as the darker woman smiled. "You'll have to get used to wearing it. It's the tiara of a Duchess and you'll be one soon enough."

"I'm the wife of a Duke, there's a difference." Anna rolled her shoulders back. "Can I ask you something?"

"You can ask me anything milady."

Anna laughed, "You never called me that before."

"You weren't my lady before."

"I'm not now."

"You're about to be." Anjana shrugged and positioned the last pin. "And it's good for me to get into practice. The Dowager insists that I help dress you now that you'll have to be a bit more of a showpiece."

"I can dress myself."

"For functions." Anjana shook her head, "I don't intend on dressing you every day when I've an old woman who struggles to move in the morning."

Anna paused, "Is she alright?"

"It's an old malady that affects the old." Anjana gave a little chuckle. "There are many who have it here when their bones creak and ache in the mornings. They usually solve it with salves, stretching, and yoga."

"Yoga?"

"The Dowager refuses to participate. Says she's 'an old dog who can't learn new tricks'." Anjana paused, "But the humidity and the heat help her joints so she's not as stiff as she could be if she were still back in England."

"Is there a chance she'll go back?"

Anjana made a face in the mirror. "With her son here? She'll not leave India for anything less than her burial and even then she's said she wants to be cremated like us Hindus are."

"And her ashes scattered on the Ganges?"

"Milady's been studying."

"I thought it best." Anna took a breath. "Are you married?"

"Yes milady, I am." Anjana stepped away from Anna. "I think you're ready for your guests."

"Thank you." Anna stood, checking herself in the mirror. "Does your husband mind all the time you spend working for us?"

"My husband's not in a position to mind milady." Anjana paused, folding up some of Anna's clothing. "He was killed by British soldiers just after Arjuna was born."

"I'm so sorry." Anna put a hand to her mouth. "I didn't know he was-"

"It's in the past, milady." Anjana shrugged, her hand smoothing the material over her arm as if trying to remove the wrinkles but Anna recognized the calming motion. "I was very angry for a very long time and I wanted revenge for my husband. I wanted to avenge him."

"What stopped you?"

"I had a son. My parents had passed and I had no siblings. If not for me…"

"Then who would care for him." Anna gave a little chuckle, "I can certainly understand those feelings."

"What happened to you, I feel, is much harder."

Anna narrowed her eyes, "How do you-"

"The Dowager speaks to me for company." Anjana raised a hand, finally letting the fabric in her grip go into the wardrobe. "I've told no one. I know the bond between a lady and her maid. I would never betray it."

"How did you…" Anna shuffled, "What made you no longer hate the British after what happened to you?"

"I simply learned two truths."

"What are they?"

"First, that there is nothing fair about life. There will always be misfortune and sometimes you are the one to receive and sometimes you are the one to give it."

Anna nodded, "What's the other truth?"

"That people are people. There are those who will use their power to hurt, repress, torment, and injure while others will use their authority, influence, and blessings to bless others." She managed a small smile, "People like Lord Wuthering."

"He is rather special in that way, isn't he?"

"He's like few men I've ever met. Indian or British." Anjana nodded at Anna, "You'd best not keep your guests waiting any longer of they'll think you're too vain to be the Lady of this house."

"I'm very sure I don't belong as the Lady of any house but I'll take the compliment all the same." Anna reached out a hand, taking Anjana's. "I do hope you'll remember me first as Arjuna's teacher and then as the Lady of the house. I'd hate to think everyone will forget where I came from."

"They won't milady and many will use that against you for a very long time. Perhaps your entire life." Anjana squeezed Anna's hand back before dropping it. "But I think you're most concerned with you forgetting who you are."

"If I am?"

"I'd tell you not to worry since you're in no danger of forgetting yourself as far as I can tell." Someone knocked on the door and Anjana walked over to it. "I told you, time to hurry away."

She opened the door and Anna brightened to see John. He ducked his head, his white tie sitting on him as perfectly as ever, and smiled at her. "I'm sure I don't have to tell you that there are a great many guests waiting to meet the future Lady Wuthering before our nuptials the day after tomorrow."

"And I'm sure I don't have to tell you that I wish they'd all just vanish so I didn't have to try and remember a hundred names Mary'll whisper in my ear later."

John walked over to Anna and took her hands, looking deep into her eyes as he laid a gentle kiss on both of her gloves. "And I'm sure I don't have to tell you that I'd rather they all just bugger off as well so I could have you all over that dining room but needs must."

Anna took a deep breath, trying to steady her breathing. "Careful Mr. Bates, you'll make me come over all insensible and I won't have the power to contain myself around you."

"Who said I wanted that?" John grinned and dipped forward to kiss her.

Anna accepted his kiss but pulled back after a moment. "We've guests."

He groaned and then huffed, "You will be far too much of a temptation."

"Then be grateful I'll be sitting on the other side of a rather large table."

"Why would I be grateful of that?"

"Then you can't distract me and I can't distract you." Anna kissed his cheek, edging toward his ear. "We'll get our fill tonight, I promise."

He shuddered and then straightened to offer her his arm. "Then the sooner I get you downstairs the sooner I can expect you to fulfill on that promise."

They left her room but paused in the corridor at the sight of Thomas speaking with Ms. O'Brien next to the railing overlooking the main floor. The duo paused as well, Thomas nodding to them before pointing to Ms. O'Brien. "I'm not sure you've all been properly introduced."

"I'm sure introductions are best made with all the other guests." John stepped slightly in front of Anna. "And I'd prefer if you didn't invite strangers onto this level Thomas. Guests belong on the main floor. This floor is for family and friends. It's private and-"

"But Ms. O'Brien here is a friend." Thomas pointed toward Anna. "She officiated the exams for Ms. Smith here."

"Ms. O'Brien and I are acquainted, yes, but I wouldn't consider her a friend." Anna kept her eyes between Thomas and O'Brien. "As I recall she didn't have much hope for my students when she officiated those exams."

"If I'd known then you were a Colonial Indian, Ms. Smith, I would've been a little more sympathetic to why you had such misplaced faith in them."

"How dare you?" John took another step forward but Anna grabbed his arm. "You'll apologize to my fiancé this moment."

"Or what John?" Thomas scoffed, "We all know you're far too much the pet of our more notable cousins to do anything to embarrass yourself. Not that agreeing to shackle yourself to a fallen woman of no standing and inferior birth didn't already drag what little reputation you had left through the mud."

"Then let me remind you, Thomas," John's jaw tightened so severely the muscle in his cheek twitched. "That I've the power to strip you of your allowance, toss you from the homes you use, and ruin your delicate reputation as well."

Thomas swallowed, "You wouldn't."

"Wouldn't I?" John snorted, "For a delicate flower such as yourself it must be hard to maintain any sense of decorum."

"I-"

"And as for you." John turned to Ms. O'Brien, now cowering slightly. "You'll leave this house and this compound before I use my not-so-insignificant influence to strip you of your position and whatever meager power you hold that makes you feel superior to those around you. Have I made myself clear?"

Without a word, Ms. O'Brien ducked her head and hurried down the stairs to leave the house. John met Thomas's eyes again. "You're not welcome at our wedding ceremony or any of the ceremonies to follow. You'll pack your bags tonight, you'll take yourself to a hotel close to the docks, and you'll be on the next boat back to England. You'll move out of the London house, the manor in Yorkshire, and you'll confine yourself to the cottage in Sussex. Do you understand?"

Thomas nodded.

"I'm sorry. You were full of words for me just moments ago and yet you seem to've gone mute." John put himself nose-to-nose with Thomas. "Please give me an answer I can hear."

"I understand."

"Good." John returned to Anna's side and offered her his arm. "We've other guests to attend to and it's best if we do."

Anna chewed the inside of her cheek, catching a final glimpse of Thomas as they descended the stairs. Just short of the turn that would put them in view of all those gathered below, Anna stopped John. "Are you alright?"

John shook his head, "No."

"I don't know if what just happened was entirely necessary and I trust that you were acting in my best interests but John…" Anna took his hands in hers. "We might've just made powerful enemies. Enemies who could be thorns in our sides."

"What else would you have had me do?" John thrust his hand in the air toward Thomas's relative position above them. "Let him get away with insulting you? Or worse, have the woman degrade you in front of me?"

"No." Anna kissed his knuckles, as he had her hands what already seemed like a lifetime ago. "I would've had us descend these stairs, greet our guests like a couple engaged and excited to be married, and forget that we've every had problems before in our lives but there's so much more to all of this than that."

John pulled her close and held her to him. "I just want to feel like I can stop fighting the world for those things that make me happy."

Anna sank into his hold. "Me too."

"Can we pretend, for a moment, that we live in that world? In one where the forces of the universe aren't throwing themselves at us to try and see when we'll crack and break?" John kissed the top of her head carefully, conscious of her hair and the tiara. "A moment where no one minds that two insignificant people are in love and want only to live with one another as they love each other?"

Anna grinned against his jacket. "Yes. But just for a moment."

They took their moment and then carefully plastered on their smiles to greet their guests. Guests who offered their congratulations on hollow ears that, eventually, eased and softened. As the night drew on, Anna's smile stayed in place without effort and she wished the guests goodnights and goodbyes with the genuine affection she built over the night. Even catching a glimpse of Thomas hurrying to his carriage did nothing to dampen her mood.

When the doors finally closed, and John dismissed the servants, Anna took his hands and guided him toward his rooms. But when she went to wish him goodnight he tightened his grip and shook his head. "I hope you didn't think I'd forget what you suggested at the beginning of this evening."

"It's been a long day and you've…" Anna sighed, "I don't want you to feel obligated. I know that what happened with Thomas earlier must've-"

"Did nothing to stop me fulfilling on my promises." John tugged her closer, running his lips along her jaw to reach her ear. "Unless you'd rather not. I wouldn't want you to think I'd force you to do what you don't want to do."

Anna breathed against his ear, "I want it."

"Good." John kissed her cheek and opened his door. "Then let's forget any of the unpleasantness of today and lose ourselves in one another."

"I'm sure this goes against every convention of the bride and groom sharing a bed before the wedding." Anna pulled him toward her for a kiss as the door closed and he crowded her against it.

"You realize," John ended their kiss, dabbling his mouth over her exposed neck. "Those rules and traditions were instituted in an age when the first time you met your bride or groom was the wedding day itself, yes?"

"Yes." Anna shivered and put her hands on John's shoulders to push him back enough to look at his eyes. "May I suggest something?"

"You're not about to suggest that we shouldn't see each other before the wedding, aren't you?"

"No, so don't pout." Anna kissed him quickly, smiling at his exaggerated expression. "I was going to suggest a Hindu ceremony."

"You want to convert to Hinduism?"

"No. I want a ceremony that our friends and neighbors who aren't Christian can enjoy." Anna ran her teeth along the inside of her cheek. "I was speaking to Anjana earlier and I realized that part of the problem we face here is that no one is willing to try and understand one another. We're all shouting and screaming to be heard for what we have to say but we're not listening for our neighbors."

"You want to use this as a demonstration that we'll listen?"

"I'd like to, if we can." Anna shrugged, "Your former wife was cremated in the Hindu way. Why not allow us to marry as they do?"

"They might see it as an insult."

"Then we'll find out what we can do and be as respectful as possible." Anna interlocked her fingers behind John's neck. "Can we?"

John nodded, "I'll see what we can do."

"You will?"

"Of course." He kissed the tip of her nose. "If, as Mrs. Crawley suggests, I'm to be the next Viceroy of India than the rumor I was married in a Hindu ceremony might go a long way to helping me soothe over ruffled feathers on the sides of the Indians."

"Won't it ruffle British feathers?"

John shrugged a shoulder, "Let them be ruffled."

Anna drew him toward her but paused just short of his lips. "How secluded are your grounds?"

"Why?" He narrowed his eyes, "Are you planning something devious Ms. Smith? Something that could land us in a great deal of trouble?"

"Only if we're caught."

"You do like to play with fire."

"You'll only find out if you can tell me a secluded place we can go." Anna finally ghosted her lips over his. "Somewhere only we'll know."

"I'm sure I know of a place." John's hands skimmed over her through her dress. "But you can't wear this out there."

"Then I should probably leave it here." Anna turned in his arms and looked at him over her shoulder. "Do you mind?"

His fingers moved smoothly over her and Anna faced the door again. The twinge of a thought, barely formed, beckoned her and Anna followed it. As John's hands pushed the bodice of the dress forward down her arms, Anna shed the dress and stepped back into him to escape the confines of the fabric.

He held her, tracing down her arms to the top of her corset and loosened the strings for her. But he stuttered a moment as Anna made a tiny noise. "Did I-?"

"Please continue Mr. Bates." Anna urged, grinning to herself as she spread her legs slightly and pulled at the edge of her chemise to expose her knicker-covered ass to him. "I'm quite content with my current care."

"Then please explain," His lips sucked where her neck met her shoulder as he continued loosening her corset so she could breathe more easily with every motion. "What you're doing."

"Getting started."

Anna held her chemise to the edge of her corset and pushed her knickers down. They caught on her garters but Anna pressed her ass closer to John's trousers to unclip both and roll her stockings to the floor while stepping clear of her shoes. The motion drove her even closer to John and the tight grit to his teeth came through in the hiss as she rubbed over him.

When she went to stand his hands caught on her hips, her corset catching about her arms before she let it drop to the floor. All that stood between them were his clothes and the thin material that feigned protection of her body from him. But as he used his hands to lift the fabric and stroke over her abdomen they both knew it was nothing but a tool for temptation now.

Her fingers skated over his, barely pausing as they tripped toward the space between her legs, and circled the center of her nerves. John's motions paused, one of his hands lingering over her ass while her other hand worked away from her nerves to her folds. To the places he showed her could be used for great pleasure. Pleasure she wanted to explore now.

"Anna?" His breath ghosted past her ear, hot even in the humidity of the room. "What are you doing?"

"I already told you." Her lungs tightened when she tested one of her fingers inside herself. "I'm getting started."

"But I could help with this." John's fingers gripped the flesh of her ass while his other hand tested his fingers with hers before sliding along her dampening folds. "You usually like when I do."

"And I'll like this time as well." Anna closed her eyes to try and gain more control over her body as her fingers stuttered in their self-guided exploration. "But we've a slight problem."

"What's that?"

"You're still dressed."

"Yes I am." John pressed closer to her, his fingers still working inside her but his other hand leaving her skin. "Does that trouble you?"

"It makes seducing you a bit difficult."

"Not difficult at all." Anna blinked her eyes open at the sound of his trousers opening and the tantalizing pressed of his arousal along the crease of her ass. "Just a bit different."

"Do you have something in mind?"

"Many things." He purred against her ear and used his knee to urge hers apart just a bit more before sliding himself along her. The run of his skin along her folds pried them apart and Anna's hands left their attempts to hold onto John's trousers. "This is just the first of them."

It was her turn to grit her teeth and moan when John's hands returned to her hips, holding gently as he steered himself in sawing motions between her legs. The taunting brush of his head against her nerves left her digging her nails into his trousers so hard she was sure they would tear. But there was nothing she wanted more than to tear them away so he could take her.

A moment later, Anna practically panting for his attentions, John stepped away, pulling her tiara with him. She pivoted, her chemise billowing away from her with the motion, and watched as John left the tiara on a small table before taking a seat on the chair near the doors that opened to his balcony. A chair that allowed him to spread his still-clad legs and beckon her forward.

"If you want."

Anna narrowed her eyes and approached him, padding over the tile of the floor in her bare feet while John discarded nothing more than his tie, jacket, shoes, and socks. They made a pitiful pile next to the various accouterments of hers mounted near the door. He put out his hand for her to take and Anna interlaced their fingers so he could guide her around his legs. She straddled them easily but ignored his urge and sank down just short of him. It was enough, however, to run his entire length over her so they both shuddered in pleasure.

"You'll be the death of me Ms. Smith."

"Then the feeling's mutual, Mr. Bates." Anna took his face in her hands and kissed him deeply as she went on her toes to readjust and then sink down.

The chair creaked and strained, not used to the vigorous use to which they put it, but Anna did not care. She rocked and gyrated over John as he struggled to rid her of the final barrier between his mouth and her body. When it drifted lazily to the floor, his lips covered a nipple and sucked hard enough to send Anna's teeth biting into the fabric of his shirt to stop the shriek of ecstasy that thundered through her.

When they thrust together, Anna almost bouncing like a new rider testing out a horse, their lips and teeth clashed before making themselves satisfied with sucking at skin. Her neck, she was sure, dotted and patterned with the vicious red markings from his lips and teeth while they sought their release together. And even in the moment when she recognized that he brought them together with the rasp of his clothing against her body, Anna gave over and came.

They rested, breathing shallowly in the infinitesimal cooling of the evening, but only for a moment. Anna peeled herself away from his damp clothing and worked her shaking legs from his. "I'll leave you to undress."

"Leave?"

"Well," Anna offered a hand but only used it to pull John to his feet and take the chair for herself with a smirk. "I'll certainly enjoy the view."

"This is for your pleasure then?" John put his fingers to his waistcoat, turning on his toes as if to model the clothing for her. "I can explain how it's the fashion of England as of three months ago."

"No need for words." Anna spread her legs and let her hand drift down.

"Anna?"

"Go on." Her other hand waved him on. "Shouldn't you be getting undressed? I'd hate to continue without you."

Her smile could not stretch wider as John tore at his clothing. He paused when they both stopped at what sounded suspiciously like a tearing seam but neither of them could take it more seriously than the giggles they exchanged before John continued more slowly. Sometimes Anna distracted him with her noises as she continued to use her fingers in a vague, and vain, imitation of his own practiced caresses where she already bore the wet remains of their first foray of the evening.

Of a few more, if she had her way.

But whatever hold she thought she held, whatever hand she wanted to continue to play, she lost the moment John dropped before her. On his knees, hands on her thighs, he pried her open and attacked her with his mouth. She gripped his shoulders, the arms of the chair, and even raked her nails over his back but there was nothing to be done. He did not stop until she sobbed her finish.

Then he brought her to the floor. On a makeshift bed of their clothing, hardly protection from the tile, John slid deep inside her. They moved together and exchanged nothing more than fevered kisses and half-coherent phrases. Their bodies intertwined, wrapped, tightened, and interlocked like sinuous pieces of a puzzle with no beginning or end. And they came together, finally releasing all the tension in their bodies and their holds until they no longer grappled with one another but for air.

John rolled to the side, catching himself on his forearms, and Anna remained where she was. Part of her wondered if she could ever hope to move again. But a little laugh from John drew her attention.

She turned, wincing at the unforgiving tile floor, and faced him. "What?"

"This wasn't exactly what I had in mind when I said I wanted to bring you out of yourself and lay you bare."

"The tile floor?"

"No, you seductress." John edged forward to seize her lips in a kiss that reignited every nerve in her body she feared completely burned away. "You… touching yourself while I watched."

"Did you enjoy it?"

"More than I have a right to."

"For now." Anna traced a finger over his bare chest and let it tempt toward his awakening arousal. "But, perhaps, when I've your ring on my finger and I've placed mine on yours, you won't feel as though you've taken anything from me."

"I didn't say I thought I took it from you." John brushed his lips to her cheek. "Only that I've not the right to enjoy the sight of you arousing yourself."

"If not you than who?"

"Me, in two days time." John got to his knees and helped her stand. "You've got a rather wicked gleam in your eyes Ms. Smith."

"Because I'm not finished, Mr. Bates." She reached around him for one of the thin blankets from his bed and draped it over herself. "And you said you had many things in mind."

"I did." His fingers trailed over her arms, folding and rumpling the blanket.

"Do you still?"

Joh nodded and took a blanket for himself. "Are you still convinced that the out of doors is best?"

"I never said 'best'." Anna warned and went to John's balcony, taking the wrapping stairs to the patio facing the east side of the estate. "But I'm sure you won't mind once you know what I intend."

"And what," John joined her, kissing her neck as he carefully picked around her hair to leave it all on one shoulder. "Might that be?"

"Patience." She put her finger over his lips, "You'll know soon enough."

He took her hand in his and led them through the darkness. The grass whispered and nipped at their feet but John guided them confidently to a winding path. One that took them into a grove of trees with simple chairs and tables dotting a clearing. In the center stood a gazebo, with padded cushions and low tables pushed to the sides of the walls.

"You've never brought me here before."

"It's for simple ceremonies." John nodded to it in the dark, the almost full moon giving them enough light to see with the distance flickers of the watch torches dotting the night with orange flares. "It's where I hold meetings with the local leaders. It's more like what they're used to and it allows me to experience the setting as they prefer. Puts us on the same level."

Anna gaped at him, shaking her head. "You are a man for a different time and place than this, John Bates."

"Why?"

"Because you are always trying to do the right thing, to be a good man." Her hand cupped his cheek as a finger traced the bone there. "I admire you for it."

"And I," He kissed her palm before holding it between his hands and massaging it. "Believe I've waited long enough."

"Have you?"

"We're out in the open," John motioned about them as his voice took on a growling edge, "And I've been patient enough to tramp through the dark. So tell me what seductions you've planned for me."

"You make me sound rather succubic in my intentions." Anna freed her hand from his hold to drag over his chest, threatening to pull away the blanket that hung limply over his shoulders as if the weight of the humid air dragged it down.

"No, you'd be a succubus if you took me while sleeping." John grinned at her, letting his hands curve over her shoulders. "But I'm fully awake."

"Perhaps we're in fairyland."

"Then," He dipped his head forward, kissing under her jaw, "We'd best be a bit more natural in our accouterments."

Guiding them carefully over the ground, John led them into the gazebo. Kicking a bit carelessly, but with good aim, John arranged the pillows into a functional pile before stripping them both of the blankets he then let drop into unceremonious heaps to the side. Anna waited as he turned back to her.

"Now what, Ms. Smith?"

"You have it all rather well in hand John."

"Do I?"

"Yes." Anna put her hand to the back of his neck and pulled him down to whisper in his ear. "In fact, I'd like you to continue taking charge."

"Why?"

"There's something to seeing you like this." Her fingers skipped over his chest, pausing to play wherever he shivered slightly.

"How?"

"All overcome and impatient." Anna ran her tongue over her teeth and noted, even in the dark, that John's pupils dilated to almost take over the color in his eyes. "Ready to take charge and take what you want."

The moment froze as he met her eyes, the two of them calming in the sliver of eternity. "I'd never take anything from you Anna."

"I know." She nipped at his ear before whispering. "That's why I'm giving you permission."

"To do what?"

"To take me as you want. Right now, in the dark, out in nature, where we're as primitively connected to one another as anyone can be and as connected to the earth as we can be." Ana drew back, her fingers barely brushing his skin. "I want you to take me, John. I want you to truly make me yours."

"I couldn't." John murmured, closing in on her but not touching her.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm already yours."

"Then we'll belong to one another."

His mouth met hers then and his hands gripped tightly to her arms. She held onto him with matching fervor, her nails biting into his skin as he pivoted them like a tightly executed dance move, and gasped slightly when he slipped his foot behind her ankle to bring her to the floor. The pile of pillows stopped any kind of crash and while there was comfort to them they were not much more than the hastily assembled clothing in John's room.

But Anna reveled in it. Reveled in the way his hands mapped her skin like familiar territory while also seeking to learn her anew. Joyed in how he sank his tongue deep into her mouth to turn the kiss as he willed and even stopped her hands any time she sought out his arousal.

He only broke contact for a moment, taking her wrists in one hand and placing burning kisses on the soft skin there before drawing them over her head. "You told me to take you. That means you're at my mercy."

"Am I?" Anna trilled but the whisper of a tremor soothed the moment John's other hand glided over her cheek.

"Unless you say otherwise Anna. If you-"

"Keep going." She urged, surging up to take his lips with hers and working to keep her hands above her head. "Don't stop."

His hands left her wrists and she dug her nails into one of the pillows over her head instead. John set to work, leaving traces of his touch, his tongue, and his teasing that had Anna writhing and almost weeping. His mouth brought her to the edge with flat, broad strokes before pointing to explore and taunt at her center and her nerves. And when he finally sucked her to climax, he only gave her a moment.

Then he was on her again, tongue and fingers learning her anew between explorative treks to her breasts. No place on her body where even the smallest twinge of pleasure hid was left unloved. And Anna shattered again before John even paused in his heavenly ministrations.

Their eyes met and John took a deep breath, Anna taking note of the quiver in his body. "How do you want me Anna?"

"However you-"

"No," He stopped her, leaning over her to ensure their eyes met. "How can I do this? I don't want to hurt you and I don't want you afraid."

"But?"

"But I want to take you. I want to take you as you want. I want…" He hung his head, hauling in a breath before risking meeting her eyes again. "I want to take you as primitively as you suggested but I don't want you to be afraid. I want you to enjoy it. I want you to want this as much as I do."

"I do." Anna soothed him, kissing softly over both of his cheeks. "You'll just have to speak to me. Assure me you're there and…"

"What?"

Anna bit her lip, glad the lack of light made it so he could not see the blush of red heating her cheeks. "Tell me how you like it. If you do."

"That need not worry you." John took her lips, easing her back until her body fell pliant under his educated hands. "I'll like whatever you give me."

Anna shifted, turning her back to him, and found a comfortable position on her knees. His kisses immediately rained over her neck, shoulders, and back. Each caress left her sighing in pleasure until she had to lean forward to better support herself. But all that did was open her for John's questing fingers and tongue.

This time, however, he did not finish her. Anna keened when he moved away from her, turning to try and see him over her shoulder. His lips met hers and Anna sucked the taste of herself from them. She whimpered into his hold a moment later when he ran along her folds so the pulsing heat of him could radiate through her.

It only took a moment to adjust and then he sank home. They paused, holding their positions, and Anna trembled under the delicate touch of John's hands on her hips before his fingers dug bruising into her skin. He grunted but did not move until she managed a small motion.

"Are you ready Anna?" He hissed against her ear, barely thrusting inside her. "Because you… You're strangling me."

Anna rocked on her knees and met John's tentative thrust. His groan roused her, the ripple of pleasure running through them like a current only building toward a greater shared sensation. One Anna wanted to trigger but needed John to move so they could find.

"Yes." She finally managed, her nails digging furrows into the pillow in front of her. It already bore the signs of her earlier abuse when John made her pleasure his only priority. "Please move."

"Good." The whole-body sigh of relief vibrated through her and Anna cried out when John withdrew to the very edge. "Because you're so damn tight."

Anna could not even respond before John seated himself back inside her. His hands on her hips helped him set a punishing pace that left them both panting. But as they panted together, rocking and thrusting like a perpetual piston, John kept his promise to speak to her. Even through the breaks for air and his sounds, it brought Anna to new heights of pleasure.

"Shit Anna, you are… This is wonderful." John worked harder, grinding against her so her ass ran along the cradle of his hips. "You feel wonderful. It's… It's like the hottest, tightest glove around me. Like your mouth but better."

"Why… better?" Anna managed, hissing when one of his hands risked abandoning her hip to run over her nerves and then up to her breasts.

"Because this way," His voice lowered, taking on the growling edge that made the hairs on Anna's arms stand on end. "I could have you carrying my child. No matter how soft or warm or wet your mouth is, you can't carry my child that way."

"Our child." Anna breathed, crying out as he altered his angle to strike her more precisely and made each motion a direct assault on her pleasure.

"Yes. Our child." He paused, stretching over her to whisper in her ear. "It could happen tonight. Right now."

"Yes." She breathed and he flexed inside her. "Please."

"As you wish." John maneuvered behind her again. "You look magnificent from here Anna. In all your naked glory."

"Please John."

Between his driving thrusts, hitting everywhere she needed him to with the speed and depth that struck to her very bones, and his fingers working tirelessly between her sensitive breasts and her nerves, Anna came. She cried out into the pillows under her, slumping over as John continued. He draped over her a moment later as his body stuttered to finish and they fell into a tangled mess on the pillows.

Anna was unconscious of anything for some time. Time itself might have stopped and she would have been none the wiser. It was the patter of rain on the roof of the gazebo and a few errant drops blown toward her on the wind that roused her. She blinked against a few drops as John shifted behind her, muttering something incoherent in his sleep.

She moved, gingerly as her body complained of the various positions and vigorous activity of the evening. The flickers of orange around the compound fought valiantly against the rain until the downpour turned to a deluge and doused them. Within moments there was a torrent flooding from above and soaking everything.

It beat against Anna's skin and she raised her head toward the rain. Her hair washed back from her face and, for a moment, she did not even feel John's hand at her shoulder. But when she turned to him, the rain emboldening her, she did not even have time to hear him attempt to bid her seek shelter.

He stumbled into the kiss she pressed to his lips and responded just as fiercely. And when she copied his earlier move to force him to his back in the mud, she straddling his chest, John only deepened their kiss. Their fingers played with the water to arouse and coax flagging and sensitive skin to seek another foray into pleasure. In moments Anna sank down over him and, digging her toes and knees into the growing mud, rode him until they came together in the rain.

Just as soon as it started, the rain petered away. They dug themselves free, taking the last of the water from the gazebo's gutters to try and wash the mud away, and ducked into the gazebo again. Anna reached for her blanket but John wrapped her in his arms instead, pulling them together as they waited for the last of the rain to finish and let them return to the house.

"I hope you don't mind." She whispered, her head on his shoulder as they sat together. "I don't know what came over me."

"I rather enjoyed it." John kissed at her temple, smiling against her skin. "My rain goddess in her element."

"I'm no goddess."

"You're my goddess." John let his fingers move through her damp and tangling hair. "And I'll worship you for the rest of my life."

"Perhaps on a bed next time." Anna sighed, resting back against him.

"Absolutely on a bed." John agreed and they laughed together, waiting for the rain to stop.


	15. Promises of Exquisite Pleasure

"I know you'll be tempted but it's bad luck and-"

"We've aware, Mary." Anna folded her arms over her chest. "I'm not totally ignorant to all things regarding marriage."

"But weddings?" Mary clicked her tongue against her teeth. "Those are a different breed entirely."

"I was sure they all follow a similar pattern and structure."

"We're not in a tiny little village church now, Anna." Mary motioned to the house around her. "We're talking about the event of the year, perhaps decade, here."

"Because we're the only entertainment to be had?"

"Because you're marrying the man slotted to be the next Viceroy of India and you've got more than a few rumors circulating about you already." Mary narrowed her eyes and leaned toward Anna, "You haven't… The two of you haven't done anything you're not proud of, have you?"

"If you're asking after whether or not we've decided to engage in marital activities before the marriage," Anna put a finger to her lips. "I'll keep myself to myself about those kinds of details."

"Be that as it may," Mary rolled her eyes. "Just remember, this is a ceremony riddled with the potential to go wrong. We don't need the actions of either of you bringing bad luck down on us now do we?"

"I'll keep that in mind." Anna pulled out her watch, "How long have I got before I'm not allowed to see my fiancé?"

"I'd say until after dinner. Then I'll escort you upstairs to your rooms before he goes up and make sure neither of you decide on a goodnight kiss in the small hours." Mary shook her head, gathering the last of her things from the table in the library. "I swear, working with the two of you on this is like herding cats."

"Thank you for the vote of confidence Mary." Anna went to the window, sighing at the sight of the school. "Do you think anyone'll mind if the Lady John Wuthering decides she still wants to teach?"

"I won't mind." Anna pivoted on her heel as John entered the room and smiled at him. "I think it'll be a worthwhile endeavor."

"What'll the people of status say?"

"Less than they did when my first wife used her time to spend my money and make trouble." John put his hands in his trouser pockets and looked at Mary. "How's it all shaping up for your tour?"

"Matthew's done most of the work, cables and telegrams all day and night, but we'll be ready to leave right after you get back from Goa." Mary shrugged, "It'll be difficult for George, since he's not coming with us, but I think it's good for him to be here. Exams are coming round again and I don't want him getting behind."

"Couldn't he study while traveling with you?"

"He could but most of the time he'll be shut up in stuffy rooms or watching parades that'll bore him to tears." Mary snorted, "I know I will be."

"For someone raised into this life you've not got a love for it."

"It's duty before desire, dear." Mary put a hand on Anna's shoulder and nodded at John. "We'll be back for dinner. Thank you again for inviting us."

"It's always a pleasure to have the Crawleys share my table."

"I do hope you always think that since your cook is better than the one at the Embassy." Mary checked over her things, "Right. I'll be back later. No trouble between you two, if you can help yourselves, until then."

"Us? Trouble?"

"Don't play coy with me." Mary leveled her finger at the two of them. "You're almost married. It's not asking much for you to wait a day. You'll get your fill of each other soon."

"I doubt that." John spoke the moment the doors closed after Mary, kissing over Anna's fingers. "I could never be full of you."

"That's good to know." Anna kissed his fingers back. "Because I've already waited a lifetime for you and one more day is torture."

"Take a walk with me?" John tugged on her hand, "It'll give us something to do until dinner that won't get us in trouble with tradition."

"I would've thought last night and any of the nights previous to it would've gotten us into trouble with tradition." Anna giggled with him but retrieved her parasol to follow John onto the sweltering grounds. "Ever since our engagement we've not exactly been careful."

"About someone noticing?"

Anna shook her head, "Although we know Thomas knows."

"Thomas is in Bombay waiting for the first train or boat back to England and, hopefully, the next time we'll have to see him is at the passing of a significant relative and not before." John took a breath, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to let him get me heated."

"And he's not even here." Anna put her hand on John's arm, keeping pace with him as they walked. "But no, I meant we've not been careful about our activities. In regards to the chances of a child, that is."

"I rather thought the point was to conceive a child." John stopped, turning to Anna. "Are you-?"

"It's still early days but I recognize the signs well enough." Anna smiled, putting her hand on John's cheek. "I think I am."

John's shaking hand covered hers and he pressed a hard kiss to her palm. "You're sure?"

"Sure enough to suggest to you that I am." Anna beamed at him, "I think I'm having your heir, John Bates."

"Anna…" He faltered, "You've made me the happiest man in the whole world. All over again."

"Then I think we're evenly matched." Anna drew closer to him. "Because you make me the happiest woman in the world every day."

John stood over her, his frame almost crowding out the need for her parasol as he blocked the sun. But he just stood there and, after a moment, rested his forehead on hers. "I want to kiss you so badly right now."

"Then do it."

"Not with the chance that anyone could be watching." John's eyes closed as he took a deep breath, as if to breathe Anna in. "Besides, there's something I want to show you."

"Something like what you already showed me last night?" Anna tempted but John's shoulders tightened and he held himself away from her. "You've amazing self-control Mr. Bates."

"I have to around you or I'd strip you down out in the open and take you until neither of us could move." John grinned at the shiver that passed through Anna. "I thought you might enjoy that."

"I'd enjoy it more if you could actually do it."

"Later, perhaps."

Anna narrowed her eyes, "What about Mary's warning regarding bad luck?"

"I've never been one to believe in that." John took Anna's hand again, guiding her around the house. "I obeyed all those rules before I married Vera and that marriage was an absolutely nightmare."

"So you'll not obey the rules and we'll have a better marriage?"

"I've already chosen an angel so there's no worries there."

Anna pulled John to a stop. "And I've chosen the right man as well."

"Even though I can't give you the small affair in your local church surrounded by your family and friends?"

"We'll be surrounded by our family and friends here." Anna squeezed his hands. "And I'd much rather the right man than the right wedding."

"Then let me show you part of the right wedding." John led them around the house and pointed. "That's the platform for the Hindu ceremony."

"You erected that in one night?"

John nodded, guiding Anna toward it and up the stairs. "There'll be a fire here and my mother'll tie the end of your sari to my turban and-"

"Wait," Anna held up a hand. "You're wearing a turban?"

"Yes." John teethed at his lip. "I don't know how they'll wrap it over my incredibly large head but they'll manage it and tie the end to your sari. Then I'll lead you around the fire seven times to represent the seven lifetimes we'll share with one another after this one ends."

"Seven lifetimes?" Anna let go of John's hand, walking the platform. "I'm not sure I like the sound of that."

"You don't?"

"What if I don't like you after this life?" Anna tried to bite down on her grin but could not help herself. "Or, heaven forbid, I wanted to keep you for eternity. Would I have to fight someone else off to make sure I'd get you for the next seven lifetimes after that?"

"You," John walked over to her, taking both of her hands in his. "Will share every lifetime we've got with me and no one else. We'll find one another in whatever reincarnated body we possess, if the Hindus are right, and if not then we'll find one another in Heaven if the Christians are right."

"Hedging our bets are we?"

"I'd rather not waste my time dithering if something's wrong and miss out on the chance to keep you to myself for all eternity."

"I like the sound of that." Anna leaned into him, "And I can't wait to marry you, John Bates."

"Then it's a good thing that we're getting married tomorrow."

"Yes it is." Anna leaned forward but the ring of the school bell split them apart. "I think we'll have to postpone this until tomorrow."

"Maybe not that long." He leaned forward, "If you're willing to risk breaking a few more traditional rituals on our way to the altar."

"You do realize that there's a chance Mary will sleep outside my door to prevent any of the thoughts you probably have at this moment yes?"

"And do you know that I know my house better than Mary Crawley does and that she has to fall asleep sometime, yes?"

Anna shook her head, "I know that you are incorrigible, Mr. Bates, and you might make this all a bit difficult."

"Don't like someone who treads on tradition?"

"We've already made rather a mess of tradition so that's not my worry." Anna led them off the platform, toward the students coming from the school. "My worry is that you're far too interested in courting danger."

"I disagree." John bent to lay a kiss on her cheek. "I only plan on courting you for the rest of my life. That's my promise."

"I'll hold you to it."

John only smiled and prepared himself to receive James's hug as the boy pelted toward them. Anna handed James her parasol as John put the boy on his shoulders and they walked back toward the house. Even dinner that evening, with all of the gathered guests wishing them toasts until everyone around the table sparkled like the champagne. Champagne Anna noticed John refused and she, after two glasses, put to the side as well.

As they separated at dinner, Anna bidding all the guests goodnight under Mary's dramatic orders, she caught John's wink. She also caught Mary when the other woman stumbled on the stairs. Mary waved her off but Anna kept her arm firmly under Mary's shoulder.

"Perhaps it should be me escorting you to bed instead of the other way around." Anna held onto Mary's hand and held the taller woman's waist with her other arm. "You're not exactly walking on both feet in an orderly fashion."

"I can still think just as clearly as I could before dinner even if my feet aren't walking in a straight line."

"Let me get you up to a bed so you can try and sleep it off before tomorrow." Anna went to turn Mary around a corner when another set of hands pulled Mary away from her.

"Thank you, Anna, but I should probably take care of this." Matthew bent and lifted Mary off her feet. "She can get a bit cranky when she's not at all herself."

"I'm entirely myself, Matthew Reginald Crawley, and I defy anyone saying I can't keep my head when I've had a glass or two."

"I think it was more like six." Matthew huffed, Anna helping them into one of the bedrooms. "You drank with every toast."

"It's tradition."

"Some traditions are best left forgotten." Matthew laid Mary on the bed and turned to Anna. "She'll be alright for tomorrow. She might not even remember this."

"I hope she'll be alright. She's my matron of honor and I need someone who knows how to calm the inevitable nerves I'll get."

"I'm always here to help." Mary tried to lift herself from the bed but Matthew pressed her back to the pillows. "But it seems my husband wants to restrain me instead. I do hope this means-"

"And on that note, I'll leave you both to it." Anna ducked out of the room and hurried to her own. She sighed against the door and then jumped slightly when someone spoke from the corner. Putting her hand over her heart, Anna turned her gasp into a laugh. "Anjana, you gave me a fright."

"My apologies milady. I just wanted to know what help you wanted with your gown this evening."

"Any you can give me." Anna lifted her arms. "I'll be trapped in a wedding gown tomorrow and then need your help manipulating a sari. I doubt I need to spend another minute in this dress."

"I must say," Anjana started on the buttons and hooks, extracting Anna from the fabric as quickly as they could manage between them. "I was pleased that you and His Lordship decided on a Hindu ceremony as well."

"It's not the whole thing and we wanted to be respectful." Anna tried to get a look at Anjana's face from under her raised arm. "You don't mind, do you?"

"I find it falls rather in line with the strides His Lordship already takes." Anjana shrugged, "No one is perfect but if more men where like him I think there could be more peace between colonizer and colonized."

"Can I…" Anna bit her lip, "Can I ask you a question about that?"

"Of course."

"Do you think that any good's come of it?" Anna hurried to explain as Anjana's brow furrowed. "I'm not saying that I think there's anything particularly good about the idea of it… I just… I want to try and understand if there is any good that came of a tragedy."

"In a way it unified us." Anjana brushed over the material draped over her arm. "It's the kind of thing that could only happen when a conquering force comes into your land and enforces a rule."

"How do you mean?"

"I'm not sure how much of Indian history you know, milady, but around the time of your Queen Elizabeth, northern India had a Mughal Emperor. The Mughals were not Indian, they were Persians, and yet they unified the north of India under a common language. They created art forms, expanded mathematics, and even implements architectural principles we still utilize to this day. All purchased with the blood of thousands of Indians."

Anna swallowed, "And what has the blood of thousands more Indians purchased with this invader?"

"A unifying language, a railroad, and the possibility that one day we might form our own government." Anjana nodded slowly, as if lost in a vision of the future only she could see. "Nothing unifies a people like trying to fight another."

"Is that a good thing?"

"I've come to realize, milady, that there are things in life that are neither good nor bad. They simply are and we must learn to recognize that reality for what it is."

"Life?"

"Yes milady." Anjana pointed, "Should I manage the rest of your gown?"

"Please."

Anjana took the accouterments and the gown away, leaving Anna alone in her room, and she waited only a moment before sneaking through the door to the adjoining room. James lay on his bed, face almost buried in his pillow, and Anna knelt next to him to brush some of the hair away from his face. The boy barely stirred and Anna kissed his forehead.

"Sleep well, my beautiful boy. Tomorrow we'll have a whole family." Her hand brushed over her abdomen, "And who knows, perhaps in a short time you'll have a little brother as well."

The latch clicked softly as she returned to her room. Anna's hand barely left the handle when hands smoothed over her hips. She stiffened a moment and then relaxed into the familiar hold as the breadth of John's chest pressed against her back. His lips kissed by her ear and she sighed at the sensation.

"Bidding him goodnight for the last time as Anna Smith?"

"I think I was." Anna turned in John's hold, her arms going around his neck. "Are you here against orders? We're not supposed to see one another again until you turn to see me enter the church."

"I'm sure the vision I've imagined of you, dressed in white, is nothing compared to what you'll really look like when you enter through those doors." John gently kissed each of her cheeks. "Or the picture you'll make when you join me on that platform in wedding jewelry and a wedding sari."

"And you don't think I've imagined you?" Anna tucked herself closer to him, exchanging kisses on his face to match those he left on hers. "In your morning coat and with that turban wrapped around your head?"

"I'm sure I'll barely meet expectations."

"Mr. Bates." Anna took his chin with her hand, "You'll vastly exceed them."

He kissed her then, with all the passion of the afternoon and evening coming out in a rush. When they separated, Anna swaying slightly as he made her lightheaded, John backed her into the wall. She bumped against it and grinned at him, her finger tracing over his shirt.

"You're not dressed for bed."

"I told my valet he could take the evening."

"Did you intend on someone else undressing you?"

"I intend on you being the only person to undress me from now on." John's hands ran down Anna's sides, pausing as they framed her abdomen. "You've made me the happiest man in the world. I don't know how I got through dinner not grinning like a fool every time I thought about the secret you're carrying."

"You make it sound so illicit."

"Until tomorrow, this child's illicit." John went to his knees, kissing at Anna's abdomen. "But then again, we were lovers in secret long before I could ever tell anyone how I felt about you."

"And how is it that you feel about me, Mr. Bates?" Anna's breath caught as John stood up quickly, his hand going under her nightdress in an instant to run his fingers along her swiftly dampening lips.

"Deeply and with every fiber of my being." He leaned forward, pressing his fingers inside her as he whispered against her ear. "Do you remember that night?"

"Which one, there've been so many."

"That night, when I first put my fingers close to you." His fingers whispered over the cotton of her knickers, pulling them against her. "I remember how you wanted me to help you come. You wanted me to touch you and I'd never felt more honored in my entire life."

"You seduced me thoroughly that night." Anna sighed into him, her fingers crunching in his shirt. "I loved you before that moment but then, then I knew I made the right choice."

"Because I could touch you like this?" John pressed his thumb to her clit while his other fingers used the material wrapped around them to rub inside her.

"Because you wanted to touch me like this." Anna seized his lips and brought one of her legs up and over his hip. "Please keep going."

"My pleasure." He paused, lips and fingers holding steady just short of bringing her closer to the edge. "Or will it be yours?"

Anna moaned and took John's face between her hands to bring him back to kiss her as his other hand worked under her nightgown to pull her knickers down her legs. They fell to the ground and Anna kicked them aside, barely losing stride in her kiss, to wrap both legs around John's hips. He pressed her back harder to the wall and together they fumbled to open his trousers.

But once they exposed him, Anna breaking the kiss long enough to watch John's eyes roll into his head as she stroked him, John thrust forward. The wall gave them the solid surface they needed to work and shunt together as they sought mutual release. Anna's fingers dug grooves into John's hair as he lowered his mouth to her breasts through the cotton of her nightdress. And they came together in a flurry and haze a few minutes later.

Legs trembling slightly, Anna touched the floor again. She tipped her head back to smile up at John and lost herself in another of his long kisses. A kiss that hid his real intention as he snuck a hand back under her nightdress to tease at her folds.

Anna bucked against him, keening at the caress, and went to touch him as well. But John's hand stopped her, holding fast to her wrists while he continued kissing and sucking at her mouth. Her hands flailed and he released them so she could hold at the back of his neck and bring herself closer to him and his determined manipulations of her still sensitive folds.

Her moans drown in his mouth when his hand formerly occupied with holding her wrists took up the task of kneading her breasts through her nightdress. A dress she swiftly wrestled over her head before pushing John back toward her bed. Her fingers attacked his buttons and she managed to expose his chest to her greedy hands while his still continued his slow, sensuous torture of her core.

When they reached the bed, Anna tried to press him backward, to tumbled them both onto the surface, but John pivoted and turned them. She bent back, as if to take him atop her and again, John surprised her. He risked his hold on her for a moment to turn her in his arms and hold her back to him. His fingers ran over her arms and down to her hips as he drew his thickening length along the crease of her ass until Anna closed her eyes and keened.

"I rather enjoyed our little experiment in the garden last night." His voice was barely audible against her ear, the heat flicking at the delicate skin. "Can we?"

"Yes."

"Good." John's lips set a determined track over her shoulders and neck, moving the braid of her hair out of the way while his hips continued holding her in place to feel him pressed against her. "Because it gives me courage."

"What?" Anna tried to turn but John pressed a hand to the small of her back and bent her over the bed. "What do you mean?"

"If I was face-to-face with you," The soft thump of fabric hitting the floor and the heat of skin pressing to skin had Anna shivering at the thought of John naked behind her. "Then I'd get lost in your eyes. You'd distract me with the flush of red to your cheeks when you're close to your climax. I'd lose myself in the taste of your mouth, of your breasts, and any part of you I can reach."

"But now?"

"Now," John's breath ran a line down her spine and Anna spread her legs and the gentle urge of his hands. "Now I can go this."

She buried her cry in the linens on the bed, crumpling them in her grip as John's tongue moved over her. As he sucked her folds and her clit between his teeth. As he nipped between running the flat of his tongue over her weeping folds. As he dived it deep inside her to drink straight from her. As he brought her to a body-spasming end with his mouth.

Her legs continued to quiver as John stood behind her, running himself along her buzzing nerves and lips. "You're tighter from this position. I go deeper."

"Yes."

"And I can enjoy the view from here as well." His hands smoothed over her back, running to her hips and holding steady as he thrust forward. Anna's forearms slid slightly on the bed but her feet dug into the tile of her floor to take John's motions. "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever met Anna. And I still can't believe that tomorrow you're going to marry me."

Anna turned over her shoulder, "Believe."

It was as if something snapped in John. His fingers worked furiously, almost frantic in their determined search for her pleasure. Her breasts were his to manipulate, massage, and knead while the burning marks of his kisses dotted her shoulders in sucks, licks, and nips. Even her already fritzing nerves took his attentions until released again.

But he did not stop there. His speed only turned more frenetic and John shunted against her with all the finesse of a piston. But Anna tightened her flagging muscles, clung to him with every bit of strength she had, and whimpered as he brought her to the edge again. This time, however, he fell over it with her.

They collapsed together on her bed, tangled in a heap, and Anna managed a small laugh. Whether as a way to expend her energy or because she had no other means of expressing her joy she could not say. All she knew was john tucked her to his side and kissed her forehead.

"What's so funny?"

"I'm not sure." Anna eased herself next to him. "This is far more comfortable than that pile of pillows out in the gazebo."

"You're the one who wanted to consummate our relationship in a primal way." John stroked through her hair, pulling it from her face. "A bit like now."

"That was you, Mr. Bates." Anna poked at his side and John flinched. "But I rather enjoyed it."

"I should hope so." His eyes met hers. "I never want there to be a moment between us that we can't enjoy."

"You're suggesting that we'll never fight."

"But we could enjoy trying to set it right afterwards." John grinned and Anna only set her head at his shoulder to wall asleep. "Goodnight Anna."

"Goodnight John."

She slept until the gray of the morning threatened on the horizon. And she might have even slept longer if not for a steady pressure at her back. Anna frowned and then keened when fingers dipped down to press and rub at her clit. She twisted, her leg going back over a hip, and moaned as lips descended on her neck to kiss and suck there.

"Retracing your patterns from last night?" Anna muttered into her pillow, gripping her fingers into it when John's managed to slide into her.

"I'd like to know exactly what's under the dress I'm not allowed to see." He leaned over her and Anna opened her eyes to see him. "And get used to waking up to this every morning."

"Hopefully not always this early." Anna whined when his fingers went deeper. "I want a few mornings where I can wake up naturally."

"This is natural." John soothed, kissing her as his palm landed on her clit and applied pressure. "And I had to wake you up now or we'd not have time for this before the wedding."

"Then you'd best hurry." Anna tried to tease but John applied the right pressure to bring her over the edge in the next second. "Please hurry John, I can't take it much longer."

He sheathed himself inside her in the next moment, pumping against her slowly. Unlike the night before, there was nothing Anna could do to increase his speed. John kept his pace even, each thrust measured, and only finished when he worked Anna sufficiently to the edge again.

She huffed into her pillow and whined as John pulled away. "No, come back."

"If I don't go now then one of those doors," He pointed to the door to James's room and the one to the corridor, "Will open and catch us in a rather compromising situation. I don't think you want that."

Anna flopped back onto the bed, watching John collect his clothes and took her nightgown from him when he handed it over. "We mustn't break with tradition."

"So I've heard." John bent to kiss her. "In a few hours it won't matter anymore. You'll be mine and I'll be yours, forever."

"Forever." Anna sat up, working her nightgown back on and pointed to her knickers. "In case anyone has any ideas."

John bent for them but instead of handing them over, tucked them into his pocket. "For safekeeping."

Anna lay back and watched him leave before dozing back to sleep.

But her eyes had not closed a second before the door to her room opened again. Anjana and Mary, who looked surprisingly chipper given her inebriated state the night before, rushed in and turned the room upside down. Between then they hauled Anna from her bed, worked her through a bath with lukewarm water, and began practicing the ancient art of preparing a woman for her wedding day.

Mary took charge of the first dress. She guided Anna and Anjana around the finer details of its fabric and wear until Anna stood before them like an angel in white. Her hair piled atop of her head and out of the way while Mary carefully set the Duchess's tiara atop Anna's head.

"Now you're ready."

"I'll have everything ready for the next ceremony when you arrive back from this one milady." Anjana took her hands and curtsied to Anna. "I've got to prepare the Dowager."

Mary escorted Anna to the base of the stairs where Matthew, George, and James all waited. George and James both tugged at their collars while Matthew extended his arm to Anna. "If I may be allowed to escort you?"

"I'm honored." Anna took his arm. "And thank you, for taking me down the aisle to give me away."

"I would've thought James would do it but it seems he's rather occupied with the rings in this ceremony." Matthew helped Anna up into the carriage as Mary received here there, spreading the train of her veil and dress out on the seat before sitting with the two boys facing them. "I was glad to be of help."

"He says that like I gave him nothing to do in all of this." Mary leaned over to tap the driver. "We're ready."

Anna wanted to disagree. She was not ready for the train of well-wishers filled with people she did not know or recognize. She was not ready for the opulence of the church or the congregation gathered there to witness the union. She was not ready for the measured steps about to take her to the front of the church before the man of God officiating the wedding.

But when she met John's eyes at the end of the aisle, his smile wide enough to split his face in half, Anna's shoulders dropped the burden from them. Matthew escorted her with purpose and she joined John before the host of people and Heaven while repeating her wedding vows. Vows she spoke directly to John before the metal slid over her finger.

And when they kissed, no one else on earth existed for her.

The ride back to the manor was all smiles and giggles. Every time they tried to touch or suggest something more salacious, some kind of distraction drove them apart until they finally relaxed in one another's arms. Relaxed until they reached the estate again.

Then it was as if the flurry began anew. Anna could only escape the dress with the help of both Mary and Anjana before Mary took the dress away. That left Anna with Anjana to help her into the sari, the wedding jewelry, and even the rudimentary henna tattoos on the back of Anna's hands and feet. The ink colored Anna's skin and she held very still as Anjana applied the intricate designs.

"They're part of the ensemble." She finally said as she set her brush down. "And they'll wash away in a few days time."

"They're not permanent?"

"No. These are for special occasions." Anjana offered Anna her hand. "Come. The party of women must now take you to meet your husband."

Anna joined the other women, the Dowager accompanying her this time, as they approached the platform with the shawls of their saris over their faces. Even Mary had taken a shawl over her gown from the wedding and joined with the group. They all sat on one side of the fire, John and the men on the other, and waited until Anjana urged them to stand.

The Dowager tied the knot between the end of Anna's sari and John's turban before stepping back to allow them to pace around the fire. John took Anna's hand, guiding her as they circled the fire seven times. Each time his hand tightened just a little more around hers until they completed the circuit. As they did, standing amongst the cheering of the gathered guests, John lifted Anna's veil to kiss her again.

"Forever."

"Forever." She closed her eyes and he kissed her.


	16. Honeyed Moon

Anna waited on the end of the bed, worrying the blanket between her fingers before throwing it away from her. She cursed her own nerves. This was not her first time with him but something about the ring on her finger changed it all. Made her nervous as if she were a newly minted bride with no experience.

The moment John finally entered the room all those fears fled. He smiled at her from the door and closed it gently before walking the space between them. Stopping at the end of the bed, he nodded at her.

"Comfortable?"

"Now that you're here." Anna reached across the bed to tug on his hand. "We don't have to run off and hide in corners to do this anymore."

"There will probably be more corners in our future." John put his knee on the bed and moved toward her. "I don't imagine I'll be able to keep my hands off you for a long time yet."

"And how long will that be?"

John let his hands skim over her dressing gown to her face, holding it gently. "Forever, I think."

"Then let's start forever now."

"Should we?" John teased, his fingers plucking at the sleeves of her dressing gown to work it apart. "We have an early morning tomorrow to get us to Goa."

"It'll be worth being tired for." Anna gently pried John's hands away and got off the bed. She stood at the edge and waited until John's eyes met hers before pulling her dressing gown from her body. His jaw dropped and Anna could not contain her grin. "See something you like Mr. Bates?"

"I see everything I like very much." He moved to the edge of the bed, sitting on it so his nightshirt caught around his thighs. Anna went to roll the material farther up his legs, to reveal the object tenting the fabric, but John stopped her hands. "That's not how this game is played."

"And how, my sweet husband, is it played?" Anna looped her arms over John's neck and sighed at the shiver that went through him when she said 'husband'. "Are there rules you forgot to tell me?"

"They're the rules of any wedding night." John's hands moved forward to her hips, stroking lightly there as he teased toward her abdomen and her ass.

"I'm sorry, this is my first and I don't believe Mary was quite as informative about this part as she was the rest of it."

"First, I'm to make you as comfortable as possible."

Anna bent her head to his lips, "I'm already as comfortable as I could ever be when I'm with you."

"Second," John persisted, breaking the kiss to punctuate between his next words with soft kisses over her cheeks and jaw. "I'm to help you relax for the upcoming adventures of the marriage bed."

"We've already had enough of those."

"Yes." John's hand covered Anna's abdomen for a moment and she wondered if either of them could truly feel the spark of life nestling there. "And hopefully many, many more of them."

"Is there a third thing?"

"Yes," John bent forward and kissed just above her bellybutton. "That we both enjoy ourselves thoroughly and completely in the short time we have before the world needs us again."

"I rather like the sound of that."

"Good." John tugged Anna forward and positioned her knees on either side of his legs before yanking his nightshirt over his head. Anna held to his tousled hair as they laughed together a moment before digging her fingers deep into his scalp when he used her position to kiss between her legs.

His mouth latched over her clit and suckled gently at her, as if allowing his tongue to memorize her. Anna spread her legs, sliding on the silk of the duvet, and John tipped them back slowly to better balance her above him while his hands dragged over her hips to seat her fully on his mouth. She barely caught a glimpse of his expression, with his eyes dark and pupils blown wide, before tremors started in her body. Each suck and tease he made with his tongue left her with a bit less sanity until her frame shook with the effort of remaining in the present.

She gave over to it, biting her lip through the cry of her end. But when her shaking arm attempted to push herself from him, John's hand tightened on her hip and the other moved to her ass to keep her close to his mouth. Anna bucked slightly as he caressed over her folds and pointed his tongue to dive deeply inside her. Her fingers curled in his hair and held for dear life as he manipulated her between his teeth and tongue to bring her rolling over the edge for a second time.

There was barely any strength left in her body to move and Anna slumped over John in an attempt to fill her starving lungs with air. Air that immediately escaped when John's tongue started again. This time it took its position at her clit to suck and bat mercilessly while his fingers pried her open. A task far less complicated with the slick from her skin and his mouth running over them.

Anna's hips moved of their own accord and there was nothing she could do but give over to the maddening pleasure of John's attentions to her. Attentions that did not stop until she fell over the edge for a third time in a crescendo of his earlier actions. Actions that left her boneless atop him.

But John did not seem to mind. He handled her carefully, turning her back to the bed and kissing her down from her high while his fingers eased a gentle massage into her flushed skin so the quivering stopped and the massage soothed her twitching muscles. She turned her head and managed a lazy smile as John lowered his mouth to hers.

He made to kiss her but Anna forced her arms up enough to hold his face still with her hands. The soft glow of the candles lit the shine on his face and she bent his head to lick along those places. The taste of her on him sent a new, different kind of shiver through her body and she brought one of her legs to bend toward John so she could trap him in place between her thighs.

His patience astounded her as he allowed her free reign to hold and move him as she could until she tasted every bit of herself from all but his lips. Their eyes met for a moment and John dipped his head to bring their mouths together. It was as if, for a moment, they breathed the same air as they inhaled from one another into their kiss. A kiss that quickly spiraled out of control until black dotted Anna's vision.

She broke the kiss, heaving for breath, and John set to work at her neck. There was nothing hurried about his actions, despite the pulsing heat brushing along Anna's hip and thigh as he moved over her. It was as if they had all the time in the world and he would not waste a moment in a rush. A moment he could spend adoring her instead.

John's hands joined in his endeavor, skating over her flushed and dewing skin to run trails through the dots of sweat on her arms and at her sides. He licked at those trailing on his neck as her hands glided through similar trails on his neck. It added friction to their motions, their bodies sticking in the humidity and heat despite the evening breeze, but it forced them to keep the pace slow.

And Anna found she did not mind.

Did not mind when John kneaded at her breasts with one hand and took the other with his mouth. Did not mind that his kisses and licks were nothing less than the level of affection to which she became accustomed in his care. Did not mind that she was his goddess to worship and love until neither of them could move. Did not mind that he let her sigh and squirm until he returned to his place between her thighs as they opened to receive him.

John positioned himself, sliding along the seeping wet from her folds and Anna moaned out before surging up to take his lips again. His hand went to the pillow next to her head, to hold himself above her, and continued the torturous stroke until Anna forced their kiss to break. A kiss he did not allow her to continue as he lifted one of her legs a little higher to slide right into her.

He sank deep, holding himself there as they maneuvered to seat him fully inside her, and Anna sighed. John took her lips then, swallowing her satisfied sounds and the whimper that followed when he ground his hips against hers. And he even absorbed the rake of her nails over his shoulders and arms when he started to move.

It was a dance as old as time. As primal as man. A dance they knew very well and performed to perfection as they sought the places that would pleasure the other person they now considered more important than life itself.

Anna's heels dug into John's thighs to pull him closer, one of her hands making its mark on his ass as the other clutched at his side, and her teeth ran over his neck to tease kisses and nips to his skin before finally biting down when he thrust hard against her. The piston of his hips matched the determined hold he kept on her hip to keep her in place to accept him. And they both angled their hips to strike the places on Anna, inside and out, that left her crying out and clenching around him.

The tight cling allowed her the intimate sensation of noting every wrinkle and ripple of him inside her. She struggled to hold him still as he moved but eventually gave over to the slick slide that accompanied his punishing pace. A pace that forced them to ignore the stick of sweat so they could rut together. To move together until Anna's body could hold her back from pleasure no longer.

Her voice sounded in John's ears and her body wrapped around him like a vine. One that felt his shudder and the release before the descent. The final stutters of his hips against hers prolonged her reaction until all they could do was gasp and groan into one another as they tried to fill their empty lungs.

Lungs that Anna filled enough to whisper, "I love you."

And John, his chest pressing against hers, managed, "I love you too."

They tangled together on the bed, bodies cooling as they dozed and lost the candles to a gust of wind that finally took the heat. Anna's body shifted into John's, holding herself close to his warmth almost unconsciously, and she fell into sleep. A sleep where she dreamed John's mouth moved on her again.

His tongue dipped through her folds gently, as if trying not to disturb her, and wrapped her clit just as delicately. A tease instead of a taunt. Anna shifted, spreading her legs as if that could relieve the pressure but only forced her to crack her eyelids as her heel ran against skin. She tried to move from her side, to seek the warmth of John before her, but all she found were the pillows.

John, as she discovered when she finally fully opened her eyes, nestled between her legs. His mouth lapped over her in broad, flat strokes that had Anna crying out with her sleep-laden voice. But when she shivered, John only growled and sent his tongue deeper into her.

His hand at her thigh opened her more to him and Anna clutched the pillow under her head as her walls clung to his tongue. And then his fingers when he decided his tongue went to better use at her clit. A place he appreciated until Anna's body undulated with her climax.

Kissing up her chest toward her breasts, John's leisurely attitude from their earlier activities continued. His hands moved over her, fingers still sliding in and out of her, and his lips dotted exposed skin with kisses and nips. But when he tried to position himself between her legs again, John only managed a single run of his erection over her folds before Anna put a hand to his chest.

She smiled at his frown, lifting her torso to kiss him while her other hand held just behind his nearest elbow and her leg wrapped near his knee. In a moment of surprise, Anna flipped John onto his back to 'oof' as he hit the mattress. They giggled together a moment as Anna settled herself atop his chest and ran her hands over the expanse.

"And you said I'm a succubus." She clicked her tongue against her teeth at him, bending her body to leave her own trail of markings over his neck and collar. "I didn't wake you with my mouth."

"Not that you wouldn't have tried, I'm sure." John shifted under her and Anna settled her knees more firmly on the mattress. "You could be a succubus."

"Can I?"

"Aren't you?"

Anna grinned and kissed him quickly, her hand stroking over his cheek while her other hand held steady on his chest. "Only if you're an incubus."

"Only if I'm yours."

"However, whatever, whenever." Anna breathed and took his lips again.

John gasped toward their kiss when Anna pulled away this time but she slid herself backward over his legs as he tried to sit up. A moment later his back hit the bed and he groaned at the streak of her tongue up the underside of his erection. His groans only continued as Anna kissed and licked around him until no bit of skin did not bear evidence of her affections.

When she went to take him in her mouth, her tongue wetting her lips as she bent over him, John's hand came to her shoulder. Anna raised her head as he shook his, the voice that reached her barely a whisper as his body practically hummed beneath her hands. "Not this time. Please take me."

Anna kept her eyes locked on his as she moved into position. Digging her knees into the duvet, she rose and positioned herself to sink down as slowly as possible. A muscle twitched in John's jaw but he held her stare until Anna seated him as deeply inside her as he could go. Then his eyes rolled back into his head and his chest collapsed.

Her hands curled on his chest, holding herself still as he twitched inside her, and waited. When John's eyes finally opened, Anna ground down so their skin rasped and rubbed together while bringing another guttural moan from John. His arms flailed a moment, his hands unsure of what to do, and Anna used the opportunity to roll against him.

She remembered, back when they were newly engaged, climbing atop him like this. John bid her then, helping her to understand the dynamics of the motions and the position. But now Anna could rock her hips and leave John's neck arching back into the pillows. Now she knew how to rise up on her knees and tempt him with the sliding motions of her walls around him while tightening them for herself. Now Anna knew how to use the scorching velvet glove to bring John to the edge of sanity and then tip him over it.

So she did.

John's hips bucked and jerked, his hands eventually finding purchase on her hips to keep her close as he ground into her as a counter to her roll. But they moved in rhythm, matching motions and maneuvers, until Anna's chest rose and fell with a speed to match John's. Her fingers raked down his chest and finally found purchase at his sides when he came and she followed soon afterward.

Her head landed on his chest and she tucked herself close to him. John wrapped an arm around her as their bodies quivered and trembled together, keeping her close until they could finally breathe easily. Then he only shifted them to the side and slipped free of her.

"We don't have to sneak off to separate rooms any longer."

"Will I have to keep my own room?" Anna taunted, dragging a finger down his nose. "I know many of the ladies do because it's improper for a husband and wife to share a bed. It'll lead to… impure thoughts."

"If that's the case then I promise you I'll have more impure thoughts because you're not here than if you are here." John buried a series of kisses down the column of her neck before adjusting back to see her. "But we should change rooms."

"Why?" Anna tucked her hands under the pillow as she faced John. "Tired of me already?"

"Never." He breathed, fingers tickling the skin of her arm. "It's more to do with James and the other… arrangements we'll soon be making in this house."

"Such as?"

"I want a room large enough where we'll have two sets of doors. One at each end, and behind each set of doors'll be a bed. One for you, one for me." John smiled at her, "That way, if you ever tire of me, you can sleep away from me."

"Why would I want that?"

John shrugged into the mattress. "Vera always wanted us at opposite ends."

"I don't." Anna whispered, scooting slightly closer to him. "I do think we should have a room like you're saying but just for propriety. A place for me and the baby, when it comes."

"You want to be alone with the baby?"

"It'll cry." Anna's voice softened. "James cried a lot as a child. He didn't sleep well his first year and I was up at all hours caring for me."

"That's different now Anna." John ran his fingers to her hand and interlaced them so his thumb could trace over the ring there. "You've got me to help you."

"I do." Anna sighed, beaming at him. "But what about James? He might feel left out if I move into a room with you."

"He might." John took a deep breath, "But it's customary, in my position, to send the children to boarding school when they're old enough. To educate them into the future of the British Empire."

"I don't want to send James away." Anna shuddered, "I couldn't bear it."

"Then we'll never send any of our children away." John drew her hand to his lips. "We'll need those rooms though. It'll seem odd to guests if we don't."

"And we care about them?"

"Appearances, darling." John dragged his teeth over her knuckles. "And I'd want someplace to call yours. A place you could be if I ever had to leave you so you wouldn't feel lonely."

"Lonely?"

John nodded, "If I get called away on any business I don't want you to have to curl yourself, alone, in our bed. I want you to have a place you'd feel safe by yourself. A place that would be all yours."

"I've never had a place to be all mine before."

"You do now."

"Thank you." Anna kissed him and then settled her head on the pillow next to his. "We will take care of each other, won't we?"

"From this day, until my last day." John scooted closer to her and soon their breathing synchronized as they fell asleep.


	17. What Should Have Been Ours

Anna blinked her eyes open and smiled at the sight of John asleep on the pillow next to hers. His head turned toward the white wall of their borrowed home and she pushed herself off the low-lying bed to see out to the coast. The beat of the waves against the beach below them called to her and she bit her lip at the gray light of the room promising the rising sun. But it had not come yet and she had plans for her poor, unsuspecting husband.

The thin sheet covering them slipped over her as she moved but Anna tucked it down to the foot of the bed. It billowed in the early morning wind and the scent of rain carried through the open doors but Anna focused on the nude body of her husband lying prone and ready for her. Exhausted, as she should be, from their activities when they first arrived in Goa that left them enjoying one another more than the view.

Blinking the thought of more sleep away, Anna smoothed her hands over John's legs. Even in the weak light she took in every inch of his body to appreciate each and every part of him. From the legs that held him tall and strong to his arms that held her tightly. From his hips to his shoulders to his head. From each wrinkle and dip and crag of his skin to those places on him seemingly untouched by time.

Like where his smile sat, the one he reserved for her. Or where he tucked her close when they rode together. Or the finger where his ring glinted when it occasionally caught the light. All those places that beckoned he was hers and she belonged with him.

Anna went to move back but caught sight of the slightly furrow to his brow. The furrow that twitched his hips and had her biting her lip at the sight of his body readying itself. Her fingers ghosted over him, barely touching the skin so delicate and yet containing a strength that left her breathless. A strength she wanted to exploit while he lay before her.

She ran her tongue over the edge of her teeth and dropped her head to his hip, dragging her teeth along the lines of his skin as they pulled and flexed with the motions of his chest and the small movements of his body in sleep. The tiny twitches that betrayed him as Anna circled him with her kisses and tongue. Kisses that turned to darting licks and longer slides as John huffed in his sleep and his chest constricted under the massage of her hands at his hips.

His voice strangled into a gasp when Anna let her tongue slip into the slit at his tip and John's eyes flew open when she took him into her mouth. With eyes rolling wildly, breathing hard, Anna kept her sucks shallow enough to lick her tongue around him. But the moment John's eyes cleared enough to settle on her, Anna sank down to take him as deeply as she could.

John's fingers tangled in her hair, running through it and holding to her shoulders before slipping off to the bed. There he pulled at the cover of the mattress while his body thrashed and writhed under Anna's work. Work that continued with her mouth over him, her tongue wrapping around him, and her hands moving from their massage to fondling his hanging sack.

He whimpered and Anna paused, letting her mouth leave him but continuing to dart her tongue out so he stayed on the edge. It took a few breaths, a groan when her hands did not stop caressing the weight between his leg and his base with firm squeezes, but John finally spoke. "I'm… I'm close Anna."

"Good." She took him in her mouth again and did not stop until he came.

The taste lashed against her tongue and Anna hurried to take all of it. Every shudder and stutter of his body until he calmed and flopped onto the mattress. The sight of his boneless body, prone and sated, gave her a smile as she ran her fingers over her lips.

"I knew…" John hauled in a deep breath as he tried to find the words to speak, his eyes falling shut as if to better focus his mind. "I knew you were a succubus. And after… After that…"

Anna leaned over him, her hands near his shoulders to keep herself in sight of his eyes when he finally opened them again. "But you enjoyed it?"

"Of course I did." One of his fingers traced her lips before framing her chin to bring them together. He hummed at the taste of himself there and the spread of his mouth into a grin pressed against Anna's until she drew back enough to see it.

"What?"

"I said I enjoyed it." His hands ran over her body as he twisted under her. Before Anna could fully comprehend it, he was under her with his shoulders keeping her legs wide and her hands falling forward onto his chest. "Enough to show you."

Anna gasped out as he furiously moved his tongue against her. Whenever she tried to adjust, to move with him, he stopped and held her at bay until Anna forced herself still. And when she could no longer contain her cry of frustration, he worked her over again.

Even the drag of her nails in his skin could do little to slow his torturous attack on her. Anna panted above him, trying to keep herself still, but refused to hold herself back from getting what she wanted as well. So, little by little, she crawled down his chest. Each move left a kiss or a lick on him that John returned tenfold in his adoration of her until, when she reached where his hair narrowed toward his hips, he sucked her clit hard enough to send her over the edge.

She shook and cried out as she came, holding herself in place while John guided her through the ends of her orgasm and toward another. One she could not stop as her hands held firmly at his hips to take him into her mouth again. When she sucked hard he paused.

Then the race started. They exchanged sounds, sucks, and slickness until Anna came again. She staggered forward, gasping through her moan, and John moved them on the mattress. His body slipped from under hers and their lips met in a fierce tangle until Anna put her hands on his neck and forced them apart.

John frowned, but only for a moment, when she whispered in his ear. "Take me like you did in the garden John. Take me as hard as you did then. Take me like I'm yours now. Because I am."

He needed no further urging. Their mouths crashed together again and they knocked into one another rather ungracefully until Anna held herself on her knees and hands while John took position behind her. Her knees dug into the mattress and spread as John ran himself along her folds.

"Are you ready Anna?" John kissed up her back, tucking himself closer and closer while he positioned himself behind her. "Because you're mine."

"I'm yours."

"And I'm yours."

Anna turned her head sideways to meet his lips, "And you're mine."

He thrust forward and Anna clawed her fingers into the sheet on the mattress. Digging her knees to hold herself in place, Anna pressed back against him to absorb each drive at the sound of their bodies meeting. The slick slap echoed around them, filling her ears, and she met every piston of his hips until all they were was one creature moving together.

John's hands were not idle, holding her to him tightly at the hips before sliding over her skin. Sweat stuck each motion but he distracted her with his lips to her neck and shoulders and back. Distracted her until she gasped out as his hand kneading her breasts, manipulating the sensitive flesh until she cried out at the mix of sensations. And distracted her further until his fingers ventured to her clit.

They rubbed and pinched there, driving the air from Anna's lungs until she could barely inflate them. Reduced to panting and keening, Anna rolled into John's drives, grinding against him and rocking as he withdrew. Tightening her vaginal walls stopped his breath and she almost grinned before losing the upper hand as his fingers formed a 'V' to stroke and tease around her again. But John's groaned turned to growls as her hand joined his and occasionally rubbed against him when he sawed out of her.

The race continued, faster and harder until there was no coherent thought, only feeling. Feeling that erupted through Anna when she came again to leave her howling into the covers on the bed. Feeling that persisted as John finished and slumped over her. His arms wrapped her close and fell sideways to keep her back to his chest as he remained inside her.

"Is this what all honeymoons are like?" Anna finally managed, her breathing steadying enough to let her fingers trace the backs of John's hands where they held tightly to her waist.

"My first wasn't." He shuddered, "Far colder."

"I can imagine." Anna gave a little laugh, "As much as I miss home, England did tend toward the miserable in terms of weather."

"Not that the humidity and heat here aren't brutal." John said into her neck, kissing her there before adjusting them to allow air between them as they faced each other. "But no, we were married in the winter and I took her to North Orkney for Christmas and we bloody froze to death."

"I'm sure it didn't take much for the last Lady Wuthering to be a little chill." Anna linked their fingers. "But I'm glad we're here, and not there."

"James isn't glad we're here instead of with him."

"He was put out that he wasn't invited to participate in our honeymoon." Anna sat up, "I don't think he quite understands the purpose of the honeymoon."

"We've already accomplished that." John's hand settled over Anna's abdomen. "But I'm pleased for the chance to... get used to you."

Anna giggled and sighed, "He's probably forgotten all about us in all the fun he's having with Arjuna and George."

"Not sure Mary's having as much fun with that." John cringed and sat up as well. "They'll drive her absolutely mad."

"It's a week." Anna frowned, "She'll manage."

"It was right before their tour."

"She'll," Anna leaned forward, kissing John. "Manage."

"Well, Mrs. Bates," John intertwined their fingers. "How'll we manage next?"

"Walk on the beach?" Anna pointed outside the doors. "We didn't take time to enjoy them when we arrived yesterday."

"Then let's enjoy them now." John went to get up, walking toward the door but turned back as Anna laughed. "What?"

"Trousers?"

John looked down and then shrugged, "Maybe."

Anna laughed again and hurried out of bed.

They walked the beach all day. At one point, during a downpour, they took shelter with a man selling food out of a cart. John spoke with the man until the rain let up and, as they departed, shook the man's hand before bidding him a final few words. The man smiled, pointed at Anna, and said something else before going in the opposite direction.

Anna pointed after him, speaking to John as the gray clouds slowly cleared for the weak light of the setting sun. "What did you talk about?"

"His business. It's been in his family for six generations and they live," John pointed to a row of houses overlooking the beach. "Just there."

"And that part at the end?"

"He told me I must've married one of the angels of my God that fell from Heaven." John kissed Anna's cheek before taking her hand. "He's not wrong."

"You're flattering me."

"It's not as if you don't deserve the compliment." John took a deep breath, staring at her. "You are, without a doubt, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

"I doubt that."

"It's true." John put his other hand over his heart, leading them leisurely back toward the rented house. "I've seen a lot of women, met many of them, and never did I see anyone as beautiful as you before the day we formally met at my estate."

"If we're telling secrets," Anna pulled herself closer to John, running her hand along his arm. "I'd never imagined someone could be as generous and giving as you."

"No one?"

Anna shook her head, pausing their onward march to hold John's gaze. "You've got a noble heart and you're always trying to do the right thing. I admired that in you before I even really knew you. And, when I did know you, I think it made me love you all the more."

"Now you make me sound as if I'm only concerned with the outward appearance." John pouted but Anna drew his cheek down to kiss it. "I wasn't you know. I thought you were one of the bravest women I'd have the chance to meet."

"I don't doubt it." Anna sighed and kept John's head near hers as she manipulated their positions to whisper in his ear. "But I also thought you were one of the most gorgeous men to ever take my breath away."

"Now Mrs. Bates," John attempted to chide her but the tremble in his hand told her otherwise. "Careful what you say in public."

"And why's that?"

"Because you'll make me come over all insensible and I might be tempted to ravish you in a public place."

"Why don't you?" Anna risked a step back, opening her arms. "We're the only ones here and I don't see anything wrong with taking advantage of an empty beach as night approaches."

"You're not afraid?"

"Not with you here." Anna's face feel from her playful grin to her committed expression. "I want to be with you here, John. Outside, like we were in the garden before our wedding."

"I thought we already replayed that bit."

"No harm in a reminder."

"Then we'll…" John stopped as a flash of lightning interrupted them followed by the rocking boom of thunder. "It'll rain."

"Then it'll be just like the garden." Anna ran her hands over his shirt. "This time you dressed like an Indian."

"So did you." John fingered Anna's sari. "It'll be much easier to manipulate."

"Good, because I can't wait to undress you."

A deluge of water dumped over them, breaking apart their attempt to kiss for a moment. Anna shrieked in delight and then danced away from John as he reached for her. They dodged and darted away from one another, stripping their soaking clothes until they formed an impromptu ring around their position.

John finally caught Anna and kissed her hard as he fell back onto the wet sand. It puffed and shifted under them but John managed to get himself into a seated position and Anna maneuvered over his legs. They held together, the rain washing the hot air away until they only breathed one another.

Hands fumbled and grasped to bring out moans and growls as they teased one another to the edge. Each motion designed to entice and excite until they both sobbed and moaned into their kisses as they hurried to adjust together. And there they held until another flash of lightning encouraged them to move. Move in a rush that left them panting and laughing as the rain ebbed.

"We'd better hurry." John kissed Anna, helping her up and into her clothes. "Before a night watchman or someone finds us here."

"Probably best." Anna stole John's shirt and held it up. "But you'll have to chase me to get this back."

"Will I?" John grinned and pelted through the sand after her.

The next few days they explored Goa. For all the familiarity Anna had with Bombay, the voyage to bring them down the coast was like crossing into another world. Here so many of the locals spoke Portuguese and Anna struggled to get around with the ease she developed farther north. But they managed all the same and even attended mass at one of the churches.

Anna sat next to John, her head craned back to look at the ceiling, and mouthed her appreciation. John's hand squeezed hers and Anna turned to him. "What?"

"You're acting as though you've never seen a church before."

"Every church is different."

"That's true." John sighed, "I was baptized in a church like this."

"Then why is it that you don't attend church with me?"

John shrugged, leaning closer to Anna to avoid the glares from their whispered conversation. "I had a bit of a falling out with God when I was younger. My mother, a Catholic, insisted I be baptized and be a Catholic and my father didn't take too kindly to her insistence."

Anna winced, "Your mother told me about your father… Or some of it."

"I'm glad she didn't tell you all of it." John's face darkened for a moment. "I don't think I could stand for you to know those details."

"Why not?"

"It's…" John shifted in the seat, "It's not something I want you to know about me. I wouldn't… I wouldn't want you to pity me."

"I wouldn't pity you." Anna ran her hand over his, interlacing their fingers. "I couldn't pity you, not ever. You're a man above the pitiful."

"No one's above pity."

"True." Anna nodded and eased herself closer to him. "But you're more than your experiences."

"So are you." John ran his teeth over his bottom lip. "There's a reason you've never told me all the details of what happened to you."

"True." Anna nodded, glancing at their hands and then toward the front of the church. "There are some things better left forgotten I think."

"I agree." John kissed her temple and then whispered to her. "And other things we'd do well to remember forever."

Anna grinned and tucked John's hand into her lap.

When Mass ended they joined the congregation in their filing down the extensive stone steps toward the plaza. Anna tugged on John's hand, holding him back a moment to give them a bit of time to avoid the crowd of chattering parishioners. "Your mother did tell me something else, about your father."

John frowned, squinting against the sun. "It wouldn't have anything to do with my cousin would it?"

"She said he's not actually your cousin."

John nodded, "No, Thomas is my half-brother."

"And he treats you the way he does anyway?"

"There are those who believe they're entitled to more." John flexed his jaw. "You've read _King Lear_ yes?"

"Of course."

"Thomas is Edmund, in every possible way."

"Oh," Anna's face fell. "I was so hoping there was an olive branch to offer him somehow. Find a way to make it so he didn't hate me."

"He hates you because he hates me." John took Anna's hand and descended the stairs. "Thomas hates that he's the illegitimate son and can't inherit without my death. He hates that my father gave him to a cousin and worked out the legal details to put him in line but not directly. And he hates that his mother was cast aside because she had no name or grand lineage to give her a place in the world."

"From every conversation I've ever had with your mother," Anna weaved her hand into the crook of John's arm. "She wasn't enamored with those parts of her upbringing since they brought her pain."

"And you're not wrong." John sighed, "My mother's greatest wish was to be more like Thomas's mother and Thomas wished my mother was his."

"What a world where we look on the problems of another and think they're better than our own."

"It's human." John snorted, "If this was _The Prince and the Pauper_ , my mother would've loved the chance to exchange her life for a day with someone else."

"I think we'd all like that from time to time." Anna sighed and tugged on John's hand. "Come on. We've not got much time left here."

"That's right," John dramatized his groan. "Responsibilities await us back in Bombay Lady Wuthering."

"As do our joys." Anna tucked herself under John's arm. "We're going to make our home happier than the homes from which we came."

"Yes we are."

They wandered the city on their last day, returning to the rented house as evening set in. The servants hurried to pack their things, preparing for the voyage back to Bombay the next morning, so they attempted to remain out of the way. With dinner on their little terrace and final instructions as to the preparations for the morning, they dismissed the butler and maids to leave them in the quiet of their room with the fall of night.

Anna changed from her dress, catching sight of John in the mirror on the wall, and stopped to watch him. Each movement careful and precise, no effort wasted as he expended just what was needed. Her breath caught in her throat as each new patch of skin exposed itself until he stood naked behind her, reaching for his pajamas. But, at that moment, she gasped and he met her eyes in the mirror.

The wolfish grin on his face heated her blood and Anna's hands fell uselessly to her sides as he came behind her, wrapping her back tightly to his chest. "Were you enjoying the view, Mrs. Bates?"

"I always do." She whispered to him, her eyes fluttering closed as he worked her dress down her body. John's fingers moved with care and purpose to pull her arms free of sleeves, to leave her shoes and stockings on the floor, and caress over her body while still encased in her corset and chemise.

"I do too." He nipped at her ear, meeting her gaze in the mirror over her shoulder. "But I think you've made it a bit unfair."

"How so?" Anna forced the words through her throat.

"Because you watched me and I didn't get to watch you."

"How could I even think about moving when you're near me?" Anna did not look away. "It's our last night John and I want-"

"Want what Anna?" His hands smoothed over her thighs, rising to dip under her chemise and leave her knickers falling to her ankles so Anna could step free of them and glory in the brush of John's fingers against her.

"I want you to undress me John."

"My pleasure." His fingers made efficient, if not short, work of her corset before pulling her chemise over her head. They stood close together, the heat from their bodies building and feeding one another until John whispered in her ear. "Now, what would milady desire?"

"Take me to bed John."

John guided her to the bed and laid her on it. He attempted to lavish affection over her, as he did so many times before and especially since their wedding night, but each time Anna stopped him. She met each touch of his with one of her own and every time he tried to kiss lower than her breasts she pulled him back to meet her lips or her eyes.

His frown had her finally speaking, "I want to see you. I can't see you if you're not here."

"Are you afraid you'll never see me again, Anna?"

"No." She shook her head, a small smile taking over her lips. "I just want to watch my husband when we're alone with one another. We won't have something like this for a stretch after this and I don't want to give up a moment."

John nodded and kissed her.

They moved slowly. Not with the excruciating slowness of his motions on their wedding night but the unhurried, unrushed motions of two people hoping to come together in their imperfections to find perfection together. And they shifted and sighed, easing into pleasure as one does a warm bath. There was no frenzy or flurry. There was only calm and peace.

Anna's hands stroked and smoothed over John's skin, bumping along those places she left her marks on their more vigorous endeavors, and kissing the ones she could reach as John matched her motions. His fingers trickled and tickled down her body like someone fingering a piano to find the simple but correct notes to a song they remember fondly. And when they fit together, like pieces of the same puzzle, they did not race to the finish.

They slid and glided, soothed and sighed, purred and growled until they became one creature. One creature seeking pleasure and fulfillment. When they lay together afterward, tangled and intertwined, Anna eased into sleep with the same calm serenity the sensation of John's arms around her always brought.


	18. What Was Never Yours

"How long will my mother be gone?" Anna looked up from her desk as George left the little group he, James, and Arjuna formed between their desks to complete the assignment.

"We just got her letter this morning and I remember you reading it aloud to me." Anna consulted the letter and then handed it over to George. "Tell me what it says?"

"But I asked you."

"You did but I want to see how good your reading skills are." Anna nodded at the letter and George took it to read, his face scrunching up as he did. "Tell me what she says about when she's coming back."

George took a deep breath and struggled through the elegant cursive. "She says that the Governor-General wanted to add another week to the tour so they'll be… a month more, perhaps." He handed the letter back, "That's forever."

"You'll be surprised how quickly it'll go." Anna folded the letter back into its envelope. "I remember when you thought it'd be forever to get this far and now see how you've done."

"It's still a long time."

"No doubt." Anna smiled at him, reaching over the desk to cover his hand. "But you'll see the time goes faster when you're busy and focused on your work, Master George. Focusing on this will just make time seem so much longer."

"But.." George frowned as his chin quivered slightly. He swallowed hard but Anna noted the tears in his eyes. "They're my parents and I worry about them. I want them home with me and not anywhere else."

"I know." Anna rounded the desk to come to him, taking his hands in hers and then accepting the hug he wrapped with his smaller arms around her waist. "I worry about them too. But I promise, your father is a brave man and your mother is a smart woman. They'll come back to you."

"But what if they don't?"

"And what," Anna squatted to put herself at eye level with George, "Could ever make you think they wouldn't do everything in their power to come back to you, Master George?"

"Just a feeling."

"A feeling?" Anna raised an eyebrow as George nodded. "What kind of feeling is it that has you so worried?"

"I've had dreams. In each one something happens to my parents and Arjuna says that dreams are prophetic and what you dream comes true."

"I'm proud that both you and Master Arjuna know what the word 'prophetic' means enough to tell me that." Anna waited as George ducked his head. "You don't know what the words means, do you?"

"It sounds bad."

"It's just a word, Master George." Anna took a breath, "And Master Arjuna's religion, like ours, references dreams had by people that are visions of the future but they're had by prophets and other great people."

"We're not great?"

"Not like that." Anna squeezed his hand and stood, her other hand pressing to her back a moment. "The dreams you're having are because you miss your parents and because there is always a bit of danger involved in life."

"If it's dangerous then-"

"Everything's dangerous, Master George." Anna shook his arm and pointed him back to his desk. "Go on, before they finish without you."

George opened his mouth, as if on the verge of saying something else before stopping to nod and trudge back to his seat. Anna frowned as he slumped back into his chair, feet kicking idly and doodling with his pencil while James and Arjuna continued their work in animated chatterings. When the bell rang at the end of the day, however, it was James who approached Anna with a sullen face while George hurried off to tea with Arjuna in tow.

"And how, may I ask, did you exchange long faces with your friend?" James's face scrunched in confusion but Anna waved it away to pull his head close enough to kiss the top of it. "What's on your mind sweetheart?"

"Could George really be a prophet?"

Anna laughed out loud, holding James to her side as they left the open-air classroom for tea. "I highly doubt that Master George is a prophet."

"Why?"

"He's a bit young."

"In the Bible it says that Samuel was our age when God chose him and Mr. Carson was complaining to Mrs. Hughes the other day about news from America talking about how there's a church there founded by a man who claimed to see God when he was fourteen."

"And I'm sure if you understood the circumstances of those situations you'd realize that Master George isn't like them." Anna pulled James to a stop, "Is that truly what's bothering you? That your friend might be a prophet?"

"It'd fit."

"Fit what?" James refused to meet her eyes, kicking the toe of his shoe along the ground so Anna had to put her finger under his chin to lift it to her eyes. "It'd fit what, James?"

"Everyone being more special than me."

"More special than you?" Anna raised an eyebrow. "I'd like to think that I didn't raise a son who's so self-possessed that he believes he's better than others."

"It's not about being better than others." James insisted and then tugged Anna's hand away from the others at tea so they sat on a bench in private. "It's about being like everyone else."

"James," Anna took his hands. "Most of the children here'll never have what you do. They're orphans, abandoned, or lonely and no one in this house is better than anyone else. It's one of the rules."

"Boys like George are different. They'll inherit things and they'll have things."

Anna opened her mouth to speak but stopped. She sucked the insides of her cheeks a moment before scooting closer to James and rubbing her hands over his. "Are you worried about the outcome of my wedding?"

James nodded, "Yes."

"Why?"

"Because it's different now." James pointed at the house. "We live there but we don't belong there. It's like we're guests in the wrong rooms."

"Did someone tell you we were?" James bit his lip and Anna's blood ran cold. "Who told you that James?"

"Lord John's cousin, the one from England." James dropped his gaze to their hands. "He told me I wasn't worthy to be in the house, like all the rest of the forgotten bastards that live here, and that I-"

"I never want to hear that word come from your mouth again, James Harrison Smith, am I understood?" He nodded and Anna calmed, "Did he tell you that's what you were?"

"He said I'd be as easily replaced as he was."

"You'll not be replaced." Anna shook her head, "You could never be replaced."

"But you're having a baby and that means…" James shrank back, pulling his shoulders up and biting at his lip again. "That means…"

Anna kept his hands in one of hers and put her other hand on his shoulder. "It means nothing. I'll not love you less."

"Even with a baby?"

"Even with a baby." Anna beamed at him, "Love only grows, James. "It's not like a blanket that's too small to fit more than one person or clothes you get too big for. There's more than enough to go around and love is meant to be shared."

"But what if you love the baby more than me?" James' lip quivered and Anna wiped her fingers under his eyes to catch the tears. "What if you spend more time with it than with me."

"I'll have to. Babies can't take care of themselves so it'll need more help than you do." Anna pulled him closer to her, tucking his head into her shoulder. "But you had all the same love and attention when you were that small."

"You did?"

"Of course I did." Anna kissed the top of his head. "You just don't remember."

Her hand rubbed over his back as he sniffled to speak. "Then you can love the baby and me?"

"I love John and you?" Anna tipped her head down to look at James. "I love you forever and always. The same way I love John forever and always. And I'll not love you or him less for loving this baby. I've got enough love to share."

"Does…" James tucked his head back where Anna could not see his face. "Will Lord John love me less?"

"Of course not. Your father loves you just as he loves this baby."

"But George said…" James sniffed, bringing the back of his hand up to wipe at his tears before Anna could get them. "George said that if it's a boy then he'll get everything Lord John has and I'll get nothing."

"Why would George say that?" James only shrugged and Anna rubbed his arm with her hand. "You'll get more than enough. Your father's already provided for that. He did it before the wedding because he wanted you taken care of. He loves you."

"But he's not my father."

Anna stiffened and shifted them so James had to look at her. "Yes he is. We signed the papers for him to formally to adopt you and he recognized you as his son. He's claimed you and he wants you as his son. He's your father."

"But my real father-"

"Was no father." Anna snapped and shut her eyes. James froze in her grip and her hand on his relaxed when she realized it squeezed his too tightly. "I'm sorry darling. I didn't hurt you did I?"

"No." James shook his head, his voice small. "But you've never told me about my real father and I…"

"What?"

"He was my father."

"No, he wasn't" Anna took a deep breath, calming her voice to try and stall the thunder of her racing heart. "That man is dead, James. He's been dead since before you were born and that's all that matters."

"Do I look like him? Do I remind you of him? Is there anything about him in me or about me from him?"

"Nothing." Anna moved her hands to cup his face. "He was a cruel, violent man. He… He was a pretender. The kind of man who's false in everything and you are nothing like him. You'd never want to meet him and he, thank the Lord, never met you or even knew you existed."

James nodded, sliding just out of the grip of her hands. Anna's fingers curled back toward her palms as James moved on the bench to sit perpendicular to her. His fingers twiddled with one another before he spoke again. His voice was so soft, however, that Anna struggled to hear him.

"Am… Am I… Is there…" James raised his head to meet his mother's eyes. "Am I like him at all?"

Anna reached over to cover his hands with hers. "Absolutely not. There's nothing about you that reminds me of him."

"Nothing?"

"No." Anna put her hand to his head, stroking through his hair. "You've your grandfather's hair and my eyes. Your grandmother's cheekbones and your own smile. Everything about you reminds me of nothing but joy."

James hauled in a deep breath. "If there were… would you tell me?"

"No." Anna sighed, her hand slipping to his shoulder and rubbing over his back. "Because there's never going to be anything in you that was his. You're not his. You're mine and, now, John's."

"What's he given me?"

"He wants to give you his name, if you want it. He's also set aside some property and money for you to get an education in England when you're too big and smart for me to teach here."

"That'll never happen." James finally moved back to Anna's side, holding about her waist to snuggle himself close to her. "I'll never leave you."

Anna put her chin on his head, kissing him quickly before clutching him close. "Good because I don't want to lose my precious boy."

"What about if the baby's a boy?"

"Then he'll be my precious boy as well."

"You can have two?"

"I already have two." James looked up and Anna nodded her head toward where John walked toward them. "He's the second one."

"But he's a man."

"I should hope so." John smiled at them as he approached, "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"I don't think so." Anna smoothed James' hair. "I think you ought to go see what you can collect of your tea before you have to trot to dinner hungry."

James nodded enthusiastically, paused to give an odd sort of bow to John, and then dashed off. John snorted a laugh but his face fell almost immediately and he offered Anna hand to help her stand. "This isn't news for prying ears."

"What is it?"

John held up a telegram, passing it to Anna as they left the courtyard and walked the familiar path to the gazebo. "I had a man of mine in England ready to receive Thomas off his ship but Thomas wasn't there."

"Did he take another ship?"

John shook his head. "My contacts here say that Thomas was last seen trying to find his way north but I don't know what he'd want in the north of India."

"Do you have anything there?"

"I manage a few plantations but they're nothing like this." John sighed, "I'm trying not to see the odd coincidence that he managed to get himself north the same time Lady Mary and Mr. Matthew are doing the same thing."

"What could Thomas have to do with their trip? That was organized months in advance and they've barely changed the schedule since they started the tour."

"But the schedule has changed, we got that letter this morning."

Anna cringed, "George was distraught about it. Seems to think he's getting prophetic dreams about some kind of horrible thing happening to his parents while they're away from him."

"He used the word 'prophetic'?"

"He heard it from Arjuna, who probably heard it from his mother, and she probably heard it from your mother."

"She's a reader."

"For which I'm grateful." Anna smiled, "She's been reading James to sleep every night for at least a month, maybe longer."

"Certainly since we got back from our honeymoon." John circled Anna's waist with his arms, pulling her close. "It's given us a bit more time together."

"Not enough." Anna pouted and tipped her face up just enough to take his kiss. "Certainly not enough."

"And sadly," John managed another quick capture of her lips, "There isn't time now either."

"More bad news?"

"It appears that Thomas has thrown into contention the forms I had you sign before the wedding."

"Your will?"

"And my claim that James is my son." John shrugged, "I always knew Thomas and Vera exchanged letters, two peas in a pod, but I never did find her copies."

"You think she told him about my son and I?"

"I think it'd be difficult for her to keep that kind of gossip to herself."

"Then he'll take that as proof that James isn't yours?"

John chewed the inside of his cheek. "It'd be difficult for him because even if he had Vera's letter, it's all speculation."

"We don't have anything but your word." Anna flapped her hand about. "If anyone in the village where I grew up were to come forward the illusion would shatter in a second. They all… If they didn't know then they figured on the story."

"Gossip spreads faster than good will."

"I've learned that by hard experience." Anna sighed, folding herself closer to John. "What'll you do?"

"There's nothing to do. The forms were filed long before Thomas brought his contention and, as far as the government's concerned, it's my money and my reputation to do with as I please so Thomas's claim has no value."

"Then why bring it up?" Anna swatted at him, "Making me worry for nothing is not good for my health, John."

"I'm sorry," He kissed her cheek. "I mentioned it so you'd be aware that I don't think we're entirely safe from him yet."

"The only safety I feel in regards to your cousin is that he's not here and we are. As long as he's far away he can beat himself bloody against his own entitlement for all I care."

"That's not very charitable."

"I'm not a fool." Anna leaned back against the post of the gazebo. "He did apparently find time to tell my child that he's a bastard."

"Who?"

"Your cousin…" Anna snorted, "Or brother, I should say."

"He's always been jealous of that."

"And I think he's jealous that my son's being recognized as yours when he never was."

"James has gotten nothing that Thomas wasn't offered at the same age." John ground his teeth and then shut his eyes a moment. Taking a deep breath he continued. "The difference between James and Thomas, despite their conceptions, is that Thomas's mother died when he was very young."

"You told me cousins of your father took him in?"

John nodded. "They weren't especially kind to him and my father didn't dote on him at all. He had none of the love a child needs and that made him bitter. Bitter that he was only heir because a spare set of parents could be found. Bitter at his mother for dying, at his father for abandoning him and never recognizing him, and bitter at me for having the life he wanted."

"And for that he tells my son that he's a bastard?"

"For that he's jealous that James still has his mother, has a father, has an inheritance, and has a happy childhood." John shuddered, "Thomas's home was… It was like living in a museum. It was cold, and beautiful, but you could not touch anything."

"I can't imagine what growing up in that kind of house would've been like as a child."

"Brutal and unforgiving." John sighed, "But that's not the concern of this conversation and it's rather lowered the tone of the whole room."

"Because the conversation before it was so comforting?"

John grinned and pulled Anna close to kiss her again. "What am I ever going to do with you, Mrs. Bates?"

"I'm sure I could think of a few things I'd like you to do with me."

With a growl in his throat, he tugged her tight enough to him that Anna keened at the weight of him pressing between her legs. "If it was darker and there was no one in the courtyard, I'd take you right here in as many ways as I could manage before I died from exhaustion."

"I'd hate that." Anna angled her face to see his. "Then you couldn't pleasure me in the future and then where would we be?"

"In a world I don't want to contemplate."

They tipped closer together, trying to kiss again, but the harsh pants of someone running to their position forced them apart with equally disgruntled sighs. Anna smoothed her dress, running a hand to pat over her head, and smiled at the boy holding a telegram in shaking fingers. With a forceful shove, the boy's arm snapped straight to press the paper toward John's hands and he took it with careful fingers to pry the sweat-stuck sides apart.

He read it quickly before passing it over to Anna. "Matthew Crawley's dead."

"What?" Anna snatched the paper, reading quickly. "Mary's coming back tomorrow? Did they only just send word?"

"The letter was dated a week ago." John reasoned, "Perhaps they've been on their way for some time but she didn't want to say until they got closer."

"There's only one reason for that." Anna held up the telegram. "She suspects foul play. If it were an accident she would've sent this immediately."

"Or else she just wanted us to prepare her arrival without worrying George unduly." John waved a hand in the direction of the chatter from tea. "Didn't want him moping around this place for a week until she returned to comfort him."

"If that was it then she would've instructed the telegram to keep it from him until her arrival." Anna opened it to show him the paper. "There's no note for that in the words she chose."

"She did have to pay by the word."

"I've not known Mary Crawley to be frugal when there's something at stake." Anna read the telegram again, "No, she suspects something about this and it wasn't an accident."

"Matthew Crawley had no enemies. He's an upstanding man with nothing but friends in this world." John shook his head, just noticing the boy still standing there. "Is there anything else?"

He held out his hand and John laid the coins there before the boy darted off. "More to it, Matthew Crawley's got no money. There's nothing to leave except to George since the money's through Lady Mary."

"Then it's about something else." Anna put her hand to her stomach, just above where life already pushed against her corset and clothes. "I feel it here. Something about George's dreams and the sick sensation in my gut tell me-"

"That George is a prophet and you've not got the same sickness that many women carrying children get?"

Anna sighed, "That's rather reductive."

"I…" John pursed his lips. "I'm not putting my eggs in that basket yet."

"Maybe I shouldn't either." Anna rested her head on John's chest and he ran his hand over her back. "This all just feels wrong."

"It is wrong, Anna." He smoothed his hand over her back. "If Lady Mary's not coming until tomorrow then I don't want to tell Master George. It'll be better coming from her and he… He needs to believe that everything's alright."

Anna turned her head on John's chest, "Before everything in his life goes up in smoke and he realizes he'll not be the same ever again?"

"Yes." John wove his fingers between hers. "I think, Mrs. Bates, we've earned ourselves a chance to slip away for awhile."

"We already did."

"I mean," He put his lips to her ear, "Somewhere we'll be alone so I can have you naked without worrying about anyone seeing us."

"I did ask Anjana to heat me water for a bath right after tea time and I think," Anna made a show of pausing, her finger on John's lips, to listen. "Tea is just about finished for today."

"You didn't have any."

"I'm fine."

"You must be famished."

Anna grinned at John, running her tongue along the edge of her teeth to feel the shiver jitter through him and into her. "I'm sure I'll make do with something else that'll feed me."

"I'll do my best."

They worked their way into the house, placing the telegram on Anna's desk as they entered her room, and noted the tub steaming near the balcony. John chuckled, pulling Anna close. "I do believe your maid is impeccably punctual."

"Among other things." Anna pulled her sari from over her shoulder. "She's also getting these made for me. She says they're not supposed to be worn with a corset but I've no idea what to wear if I'm not using one."

"Nothing at all?" John suggested and Anna clicked her tongue at him.

"Mr. Bates, that sort of talk is beneath you."

"I stand corrected." He ducked his head, pulling at his tie and waistcoat. "It'll be better on the baby if you're wearing what the Indian women wear."

"How can you be sure?"

"I'm not but all of their elders swear they've the cure to everything."

"Everyone's elders swear to those things." Anna paused, her skirt still held up by a pin but the rest of the hanging cloth in her hand. "Is this right?"

"How'd you mean?"

"We just received word that one of our friends is dead and his wife is coming here, tomorrow, to tell their son. A son who's in our care and best friends with my… our son." Anna let out a breath, "Perhaps we're being too insensitive about it all."

"Anna." John covered her hands with his, forcing her to drop the end of her sari on the floor. "After all the things life throws at anyone, the best thing we can all do is our best to handle them. We're not dismissing Mr. Matthew's life by celebrating our own. There's more than enough love, grief, and commiseration to go around."

Anna snorted, "Sounds like what I told James earlier."

"What?"

"He worried that this baby would mean he was superseded in importance in my heart." Anna slipped her arms around John, holding tightly.. "Among other things but that seemed like his chief concern."

"And how'd you advise him?"

"That there's more than enough love to go around."

"There certainly is." John kissed Anna as his hand roved over her back, smoothing there before pulling at her corset ties through the shirt one of his hands immediately went to open. "More than enough for you and I to love one another and not forget Matthew Crawley."

"Promise?"

"I'll even think about him right now if you want."

Anna giggled and pulled John's lips to hers.

He managed to disrobe them both, a feat Anna could not manage in her occupation with John's mouth and her own fingers working to expose his skin to her. Each time she only got enough clothes out of the way to leave space for the giddy, greedy exploration of his skin. An exploration he did not seem to mind and, in fact, found a bit difficult to maneuver around but sank into the caresses when he could between freeing them of their clothes.

He sank into the large tub first, stretching his legs to the very edge as he bumped the metal but Anna only laughed and climbed in with him. John pulled her close, cuddling to her so his hands could rub protectively over her abdomen. "I hope it's a girl."

"You still need an heir who's not Thomas." Anna rested her head back on john's shoulder, closing her eyes to enjoy the heat of the water.

"You want another boy?"

"I didn't say that." Anna turned her head to look at him. "I'd like a little girl too. But it's all in the hands of nature."

"Yes it is." John scrunched his eyes closed. "Maybe, if we think really hard, it'll be a girl. Nature'll hear us and-"

Anna kissed him, her hand on his cheek keeping them close together as she manipulated her body around to straddle him. With her belly getting bigger every day the motions were a bit more difficult now and they could not fit together quite as well as they used to, but they managed. Something John proved when his fingers moved from her waist to her folds.

He stroked slowly, agonizingly so, until Anna's knuckles were white on the sides of the tub where she gripped it. The metal dug into her hands but when she whole body tightened on the edge of release there was nothing else to be done. Nothing but to give into John's mouth on her breasts, his fingers delving deeply inside her, his hand kneading her ass, and his thumb flicking and framing her clit so elegantly she could hardly stop herself from coming.

The air barely returned to her lungs before John lifted her just enough to position himself under her. Her swift nod, that bobbed her head like her body started mimicking, cued John to bring her all the way down on the first thrust. After that, they moved together to send water over the edge of the tub and draining through the grill on the floor.

Not that Anna cared about water on the floor… not in the slightest.

Water muffled the sound of their skin slapping together, of the snap of hips, of the slick slip of their bodies joining but Anna filled in the details with the breadth of experience. Her fingers wove and carded through his hair to pull his mouth to hers or to her breasts as her body saw fit. Because all she could do was ride out the storm coursing through her body to leave her panting and sobbing her second finish into John's shoulder as he joined her.

They stayed in the bath until the water grew cold. Anna then climbed out first, taking John's hand for balance, and retrieved their towels as he joined her. The water sluicing off his body had Anna's mouth watering but she shook away those thoughts to focus on drying him off. But when she came from his ankle, she noted the hope before her eyes.

Hope she took into her mouth without a second thought.

An action that almost sent John careening back into the tub if not for his lucky catch on the far side. They paused, Anna giggling her laugh while John snorted his, before righting him. A swift dry and Anna found herself on her back with John over her on his bed.

"Do you plan to have your way with me, Mr. Bates?"

"Who says you'll not have your way with me?" He dragged his mouth down her chest, licking aimlessly and kissing between licks to leave Anna flustered and keening for him again. "Would you like that?"

"If not for the baby in my gut, I'd love that. However," Anna worked her leg behind John's knee and her hand at his elbow flipped him sideways. Twisting sideways to look at him, Anna let her fingers push wet hair from his forehead. "There are other ways."

"I'm in the wrong position."

"I'm still flexible enough." Anna lay on her back, spreading her arms. "Are you going to take me now, Mr. Bates?"

"No." His hand on her arm slowly pushed her sideways so her back faced him. The bedclothes shifted and John's heat pressed to her back. "I'm going to take you now… If you want."

"Please."

They moved slowly. Slowly enough Anna wondered if she could count the individual hairs on John's head as he adored her breast more with his fingers. Slowly enough that Anna vibrated with the energy of it when she finished at his hands. And slowly enough that his agonizingly slow entry left her writhing against him.

But John knew his skills. He knew what would bring Anna to the edge and he intended to do just that. With every motion, every thrust, every piston of his hips moved her hands over his skin and body to hold him closer. As if she wanted to bind herself to him through the action so they could be one being.

One being, indivisible, forever.

And when he came, Anna felt the truth to it. They were one. They had always been one. They just had to find the other piece of the missing heart that sat in the possession of someone else. Someone who now owned their whole heart entirely.

Her eyelids fluttered and John bent to kiss her head. "Sleep until dinner love."

"But I want to stay with you." Anna reached out for him but John slipped away from her. "Stay with me? Keep me company while I sleep?"

"I've got a few people I've already made wait for my attention. Longer than necessary and far longer than polite."

"But you're with me."

"Yes." John brushed her lips with his. "But I can't be here with you always."

"I know." Anna lay back, "Please fetch me for dinner."

"I thought you weren't hungry."

Anna cracked an eyelid. "I said I was hungry. Ravenous, even, and while it's temporarily sated I'm sorry but I'll need a lot more of you before I'm satisfied."

"Will you ever be?"

Anna shook her head, "Never. But I don't doubt the sun'll rise in the East either so it's a very safe assumption I'll want you again very soon."

"And you can have me." His kisses over her face punctuated his next words. "However, whenever, whatever."

"I like the sound of that." She kissed his hand, "Go on. The sooner you leave me, the sooner you come back."

"I could never leave you, Anna." John slid from the bed, kissing her one last time before gathering his clothes. "But I'll get you for dinner."

"Thank you." Anna tucked herself into the bed and took deep breaths until she fell sleep on their bed… dreaming about a recently deceased Matthew Crawley.


	19. All Mine

Anna waited outside the room as the crying on the other side of the door continued, unabated. John waited in the corridor with her but he only covered her hands with his when Anna looked to him. The horrible truth, unspoken between them, was there was nothing to do except wait.

Wait to be needed in the next room. To be needed for shoulders on which to cry. To have any need, at all, they could meet to ease a burden. A wait that, for Anna, felt interminable.

She turned her head at the sound of footsteps on the stairs and managed a weak smile when James appeared, holding the hand of the Dowager. With careful, measured steps, they joined John and Anna. James took position beside his mother while John hurried to find his mother a more comfortable seat than the bench he occupied with Anna. It only took them a moment to settle, James with his head on Anna's shoulder and John at his mother's side, holding her hand.

The quartet waited in silence, only the ticking of the clock down the hall giving them any indication of the passage of time. But none of they rested easily. Even with Anna running her fingers through James's hair, she detected the same tense in his shoulders she had in hers. They shifted and shuffled together but neither of them relaxed. She pressed her lips to his head and flicked her gaze toward John, noting the way his eyes stared into an insignificant corner while holding his mother's hand.

About to say something, Anna almost shot to her feet when the door opened. James slipped off the bench in a hurry when George, red-eyed and still crying, appeared with his mother. He took one look at the gathered group and ran for his room without a word. Anna snatched for James's hand when he went to follow and shook her head.

"Best leave him be. He needs time to grieve."

"But he's my friend."

"I think," Anna turned to Mary, as she wrung her hands and blinked at the tears running softly down her own cheeks, "He'd like a bit of time. He's embarrassed you saw him crying and he won't want that."

"You're supposed to cry when you're sad." James sniffed, his face wrinkling as he tried to hold back his own tears. "It means you care."

"Darling," Anna crouched in front of him. "Master George needs a minute to confront his feelings. He's just lost his father."

"I know what it's like not to have a father." James insisted, slipping his hands from Anna's grip. "I can tell him it's going to be alright. He'll see."

"James-" Anna called but he was already pelting off after his friend. She stood, as if to follow, but John put a hand on her shoulder.

"Perhaps I should go. Talk to them both."

"And say what?"

John shrugged, "I became James's surrogate father. Perhaps I can offer to do the same for Master George."

"Would you?" Mary's voice broke through to them, her lip quivering. "That… That would mean the world to me, and to George."

"It'll be my pleasure." John bowed to her, kissed Anna's hands, and followed after the long-disappeared boys.

Anna turned to Mary and then the Dowager. "I could have tea sent for if-"

"I think, my dear," The Dowager stood from her chair, nodding at Anna and Mary. "The two of you need to speak to one another. I'll see to tea."

She left, not as quickly as the three before her, but moved swiftly enough to leave Anna standing in the corridor alone with Mary. The women swayed awkwardly a moment before Anna motioned with her hand toward another room. "I doubt you'll want to go back in the study."

"I think fresh air'll do me more good, if it's all the same to you."

"It's nothing to me." Anna guided them out a set of doors onto the patio, weaving between the landscapers and groundkeepers toward the gazebo. "I was worried you'd have enough of the outdoors on your trip."

"Matthew spent most of his time in boring meetings and I was stuck drinking increasingly watered-down tea with women I detest." Mary snorted, "Did you know that Ms. O'Brien somehow managed to get herself attached to the tour?"

"I didn't know she had connections like those."

"Far as I know she still doesn't." Mary shook her head, dragging a finger along the railing of the gazebo. "But she excused it as safer traveling on her way to certify other schools in the north."

"Was she kinder to them than she was to us?" Anna ground her teeth a moment. "She did nothing to help our cause here and tried to fail a few of my students with her scoring mechanism."

"She's not interested in the lives of the people here. She's a sycophant and a toadie. All she wants is what she can get for herself." Mary's hands wrapped the railing and Anna noted the whitening of her knuckles. "It's why she's latched her claws into your cousin, Mr. Barrow."

"I know they met but I don't know more than that." Mary raised an eyebrow at Anna but she only shrugged. "They were at one of the dinners before the wedding but John sent Thomas packing and tossed Ms. O'Brien out. She's not been back here since and neither has Thomas."

"A fact that, for both of them, should worry you." Mary fully turned, leaning on the railing to clasp her hands together in front of her. "Mr. Barrow bears you more than a bit of a grudge and Ms. O'Brien is no different."

"I'll not let a few spoiled attitudes interrupt my happiness."

"It's not your happiness you need worry over. It's your life." Mary pulled something from her pocket and handed it over. "I found that in Matthew's things. After he…"

She looked down, swallowing hard and sniffing as a few tears dropped from her chin. "After he passed I got access to his effects. His assistant, Mr. Moseley, told me that Matthew'd been investigating something and sworn him to secrecy."

"Investigating what?" Anna turned the letter over in her hand and her eyebrows raised at the addresses she read there. "Is this… Lady Wuthering's hand?"

Mary nodded. "Charles Blake and Evelyn Napier confided in Matthew, after the close of the investigation, that while Lord Wuthering was cleared of all suspicion they had their doubts about the innocence of his cousin, Mr. Barrow."

"Thomas was in England when Vera was killed." Anna opened the letter and unfolded it. "He didn't come until a year later, at my engagement, remember?"

"It's hard to forget." Mary shook her head, as if clearing the memory. "But Mr. Napier found evidence that Thomas had traveled here. They don't know why but he launched a little investigation of his own, back in England, and found that Thomas has run a number of bad deals there and amassed debts that all but cripple him financially. Bad business venture, as I gather."

"What's this got to do with Thomas and Lady Wuthering?" Anna scanned the letter, "This is just her complaining to him about how much she dislikes India and John's work here. It's nothing I've not heard from John."

"But think about it, Anna." Mary sighed, "It's not a coincidence."

"What's not?"

"Matthew was the one who filed all the papers for John. The changes to his will, his official recognition of James, and his adoption of your son." Mary opened her hands to Anna, the tears drying on her face. "If Thomas got wind of that don't you think he'd try to do something about it?"

Anna's jaw dropped and she tried to work it back in place. "I knew your telegram was suggesting that there was some kind of… conspiracy or foul play in Matthew's death but not this."

"Why not this?"

"Because Thomas is in England."

"No, he's not." Mary's whole body quivered. "He was on the tour with us. He'd latched with Ms. O'Brien and then made himself cozy with the Governor-General. And do you want to know something else?"

"Something tells me you'll say it either way."

"That letter was in Matthew's possession because it was in Vera's possession on the night she died. It was one she sent to England but Thomas returned to her."

"It'd inconclusive of anything."

"Read it again."

Anna sighed and focused on the words, " _Dear Thomas, John is a bore again. That whore he hired to teach the children seems to've caught his eye but, far as I can tell, he's too noble to invite him to his cold bed. If he were more like you he'd take her just to spite me but I think, unlike you, he's actually got feelings for her._

" _Feelings that, I think, could mean the little bastard's not his. I read the letter, about the digging you did, and if that doctor's right then there's a chance she's infertile after him. I guess the timing doesn't match for it to be John's but that would've been cause for adultery, especially given my plan to get myself scraped up. Still might go through with that part, have him divorce me on violence alone. No woman would touch him after that and then he'd have no one to inherit the estate but you._ "

Anna frowned, clearing her throat. " _As for that chance, I think I might've cocked up the plans. I've gotten myself pregnant. It's not John's, no chance at all of that, but he looked enough like John that if I have a baby it'll pass as his. He'd be too noble to denounce me or the child which might mean that your plans are in tatters all the same._

" _I wish you luck on your business venture_. _Perhaps they'll be something in all this for the both of us, should it all go well. And if not… Well, we've had a good run._ "

Folding the letter and tucking it back in the envelope, Anna shrugged. "It just means she got on better with her same kind. It's nothing."

"It's not nothing." Mary stabbed her finger toward the letter. "Thomas knew there was a chance he'd lose his inheritance if Vera ever had that child. That means he'd be cut out of everything. By the time the letter reached him, tracking dates with Mr. Napier, I know his scheme failed and he lost a fortune."

"And?"

"And John married you." Mary sucked the inside of her cheek, "It was convenient that Vera died when she did. Almost as if to prevent her child being born and John claiming the thing as his."

"That's despicable."

"But not completely unbelievable." Mary leveled her finger at Anna, "And don't think for a moment I didn't hear that disgusting accusation Mr. Barrow made about the possible inability of you to have other children."

"There was…" Anna consulted the letter. "My doctor did say there was a risk. I just… I don't know how they knew."

"That would've been easy. Pay someone a bit of money and they'll tell you all the gossip. Better yet, buy them a pint and they'll tell you for free." Mary paused, taking a breath. "If the investigation hadn't gone in Lord Wuthering's favor where would he be right now?"

"In prison."

"Or, at the very least, shamed from society." Mary brought her hands up with her shrug. "Perhaps enough to leave him a bachelor until his death?"

"And Thomas as the inheritor of his estate." Anna tapped the letter against her hand before shaking her head. "That's ridiculous. To suggest that he'd go to such lengths just to gain a title he'll lose to whatever cousin follows him due to his personal proclivities."

"But he'd have it. For some, that's enough." Mary pointed at the letter. "Given that's only a fraction of the correspondence between Lady Wuthering and Mr. Barrow, I'd suggest you find the rest of it."

"We'd only have half the story even if I did." Anna tucked the letter away. "And John probably already knows. They're peas in a pod. It'd be hard to imagine he didn't know his wife and cousin were exchanging letters."

"It would still be worthwhile, as evidence, to find the rest of their correspondence. Perhaps there was more they discussed."

"And do what with it? Implicate him in a conspiracy?" Anna put her palm to her head. "And what does any of this have to do with Matthew's death? Or with Thomas traveling with Ms. O'Brien and the Governor-General?"

"If he makes the right friends, Mr. Barrow makes himself indispensable as Lord Wuthering's replacement. Make the right friends and no one touches you. No matter if you've debts piling up or…" Mary swallowed hard, the sheen of tears returning to her eyes, "Or if you're suspected of murdering someone."

Anna's eyebrows rose. "You think Thomas killed your husband?"

"I think he had a hand in it. That snake didn't just slither into Matthew's room on accident. I know, for a fact, that house had trained mongooses that would've caught it before it managed to break the foyer."

"How would Thomas get his hands on a snake?"

"We live in India, Anna, they grow like weeds here. All he'd need are a few coins and the right instructions on how to keep it from biting him." Mary shivered, "I'd only just gone out for some water when it… It was in our bed, Anna."

"I'm so sorry Mary."

"I don't want you to be sorry I want…" Mary stopped herself, scrunching her eyes closed and holding her breath before releasing it all and looking at Anna as the tears leaked down her cheeks again. "I want my husband back. I want to tell my son that it'll all be better and his father's coming home. But I can't. All I can do is try to right the wrong here."

"What did Matthew ever do to hurt Thomas?"

"He confronted him, on the tour, and told him what he knew. He threatened to tell Lord Wuthering and to launch another investigation into his bad transactions in England, should he dare do anything to hurt you or Lord Wuthering."

"Matthew said that?"

"Matthew's admired Lord Wuthering for a few long time and worked well with him." Mary gave a little smile, "It's hard for anyone to think poorly of Lord Wuthering. Or you, for that matter."

"And yet it seems I've got two enemies waiting in the weeds for me." Anna put her hands to her hips, taking a deep breath. "What about Thomas and Ms. O'Brien? Are they lurking just beyond the estate walls?"

"I know the Governor-General's due back tomorrow. He cut the tour short on account of Matthew's death and the body, when it gets here tomorrow, will be embalmed so I can take it back to England."

"You're going back?"

Mary nodded. "There's nothing here for me now. We were here for Matthew's job and now that he's not…" She paused long enough to gather herself. "George needs a father figure and the best person for that, at the moment, if my father. He'll inherit that title and the lands and he needs to grow up where he can do that. That place is not here anymore."

"I'll miss you." Anna reached for Mary's hand, taking it with hers. "More than you know."

"I think I know a bit about it." Mary smiled, squeezing back. "You've been a true friend to me here Anna. More than any I'd met before you came and more than many I suspect I'll meet after."

"I feel the same." Anna shrugged a shoulder. "You treated me like I belonged here when I felt very lost and out of place."

"We all feel that, just differently." Mary wiped at her eyes. "I'd better retrieve my son. He needs… He need to go home and we need to prepare to leave."

"Mary," Anna did not release the woman's hands. "Just give yourself a night to grieve. At least one. Stay here, rest, and handle the rest of this tomorrow."

Mary sniffed and then snorted a laugh, "Not as if there's not enough worries for tomorrow on its own, right?"

"We'll deal with them tomorrow." Anna tugged on her hand, "Come on, you're always welcome here."

"I should hope so," Mary smiled, "I'm here enough."

They walked back into the house and Mary immediately disengaged from Anna at the sight of Evelyn Napier, Charles Blake, and a man Anna did not recognize. They all bowed to the women and Anna cleared her throat to speak to them. "Gentlemen, it's been some time. I do hope we're not so uninformed that we were to expect you but forgot to lay the table for your visit."

"We're not expected and we're, unfortunately, not here as friends An-… Lady Wuthering." Mr. Napier flexed his jaw and turned to the Mr. Blake next to him. "We're here because there's been… an incident."

"More than enough of those going around." Mary snorted, nodding toward the third man. "We've yet to be acquainted, sir. What's your name?"

"Henry Talbot, Madam. I'm here at Mr. Napier's request as part of the investigative team."

"Investigative team?" Anna frowned and went to continue when John's voice interrupted her.

"Investigating what, exactly?" He came to her side, taking her hand in his and giving a single nod before addressing the men again. "The last time I had the fortune to have you in my home under those parameters it was because my wife was attacked and killed in an alley."

"In this case we're here more as a warning then because we suspect any foul play from anyone in this house." Mr. Napier eyed the trio in front of him. "I don't know how well acquainted you are with Ms. Sarah O'Brien but she's been found dead in her apartments at the Embassy."

Anna's mouth opened and she coughed a moment to clear it. "Dead?"

"Yes milady." Mr. Talbot addressed her, "They found her strangled in her rooms. We suspect by someone she knew since the locks weren't broken but we've no way to be sure."

"Does anyone know what happened? Did anyone hear anything?"

"Those at the Embassy were running with a smaller staff, because of the Governor-General's visit, and Ms. O'Brien…" Mr. Talbot shifted his jaw before wincing, "She didn't have many friends. There weren't any witnesses close to where she lived since no one would live near her in the Embassy."

"What about guests?" John held Anna's hand tighter. "Wasn't there anyone who might know if someone came to see her or-"

Mr. Blake shook his head. "The… protocols were a bit lax given the flurry to prepare for the Governor-General's return. If anyone came in between yesterday and today, there's no record of it."

"So why tell us?" Mary folded her arms over her chest. "No one was this intensely curious about the suspicious circumstances surrounding my husband's murder just a few days ago."

"With all due respect, Madam-" Mr. Talbot tried to speak but Mary interrupted him in a moment.

"I'm Lady Mary Crawley, not Madam, and you'll not give me platitudes when I asked for answers."

"My apologies, milady," Mr. Talbot bowed at the neck to her. "But your husband, by all accounts, was bitten by a snake. Given that we live in India that's not an uncommon occurrence."

"How do you explain it at a house with trained mongooses?"

"I guess you'll have to take that up with those who live in the house, Lady Mary." Mr. Talbot addressed Anna again. "The reason we came here is because Ms. O'Brien was… not quiet about her dislike for her treatment at this estate and, especially, about her less than desirable interactions with you in regards to the school you run."

"And you're here because you think I might've killed Ms. O'Brien because she had a bad opinion of me?" Anna's hands shook in John's hold. "I'm afraid you don't understand me at all, sir. If you did you'd know that I've lived many years with people's negative opinion of me and one woman trying to assert what little power she had over me wasn't enough to make me want to kill her."

"Do you know anyone who would?" Mr. Napier interrupted before the ice between Mr. Talbot and the others could crack.

"I'm not at all acquainted with Ms. O'Brien enough to make any comments on her personal life. Or any part of her life." Anna paused, "I do know she had some kind of acquaintance with Lord Wuthering's cousin, Mr. Thomas Barrow."

"Then we'll try and find him." Mr. Blake bowed to them, "Thank you for your time and, again, apologies for interrupting your afternoon."

"We serve at the pleasure of Her Majesty's government, gentlemen." John summoned one of the footmen. "Please show these men out and kindly give them their hats?"

Mary clicked her teeth as they left, "Ridiculous. To think we had anything at all to do with that odious woman's death. And that one, the tall, lanky one. The nerve he had to address me as 'madam'."

"At least it was polite."

"It was…" Mary could not find a word and gave up. "I'm going to go find my son. Maybe find some way to get a little sleep before dinner. I'm exhausted."

She headed for the stairs, leaving John and Anna alone in the corridor. Her fingers fiddled with the letter in her pocket and she opened her mouth to speak to John but his lips closed over hers before she had a chance to speak. Anna could only break away for a second before John pressed her back into a wall and kissed her with all the passionate fury of a starving man finding food.

"John," She pushed him back for a second. "What's gotten into you?"

"You're…" His hands framed her face. "You're the most spectacular woman I've ever met."

"Because I told three men from the Embassy that I didn't kill someone?"

"And everything else besides." John went to kiss her again but paused, "Unless you don't want me to."

"Whatever would've given you that impression?" Anna searched the corridor. "I just don't think this is the kind of place to continue."

"I'm just kissing my wife." John teased, his lips moving to her ear to dot kisses down her neck. "There's nothing scandalous about that."

"Yes but your wife," Anna put her hand to his cheek, lifting his lips from her skin, "Wants something very different and that, darling, would be scandalous."

John growled back toward her ear, nipping at it before whispering. "Would it have anything to do with the way your breasts perk through this blouse?"

"The sari is easier to remove." She teased back before whimpering when he sucked at her neck. "The study, John."

He grabbed her hand and dashed them across the hall to the study. The doors locked in a moment her back hit them so John could attack her lips and neck again. She groaned into him, holding tightly to his jacket, and brought his chin up so their lips could meet.

When they did, she ran her tongue over his to invade his mouth. He sucked at her, bringing them impossibly closer, and slanted his mouth over hers to take them even deeper. John's hand fluttered at her sides, pulling at her skirt, but Anna broke their kiss long enough to fling the sash from over her shoulder and shed her sari.

It dropped to the floor, leaving only her blouse, corset, and knickers, but John kissed her the second he had the chance so Anna had no time to comprehend the imbalance in their position. Especially not when he immediately walked them back toward the sofa, shedding his jacket, waistcoat, and tie the moment he could manage to lift his fingers away from her. A task that soon proved too difficult as they stumbled and barely managed to land haphazardly on the sofa with Anna straddling John's still clad legs.

He paused, lips leaving hers but their eyes lost in one another. John's hands sculpted over her sides, removing her blouse and corset so he could run the pads of his fingers over her abdomen. She smiled at him as he lowered his head and contorted their positions to place a kiss there.

John raised his head to bring the backs of his fingers to her cheek. "You impress me every day, Anna. Today was just another chance to bask in your greatness."

"I'm not great John."

"You are to me." He snorted, "To think, you could've had a greater man than me. The nights you must've dreamed of him."

"I couldn't." Anna held his cheeks with her hands, forcing John's eyes not to leave hers. "Because there aren't any."

She pressed a fiery kiss to his lips before scooting backward off his legs. Her fingers freed his belt from his trousers and brought them down his legs with his pants as he worked his undershirt over his head. Shoes, socks, and garters all dropped to the floor before Anna moved between his legs.

"Anna-"

"Don't think you weren't the only one impressed today." She clicked her tongue against her teeth. "Do you really think I didn't immediately find myself wanting you when you went to help George and James? That I haven't watched you with my son and thought how wonderful you are?"

Anna moved her hands over him, stroking and pulling while she dotted kisses over his chest and purred at the glide of his fingers through her hair. "I couldn't think anything but how lovely you are at all times."

Her mouth closed over him and John's fingers dug into the sofa cushions. He barely restrained himself from groaning aloud and calling out when Anna almost sucked him to the back of her throat. But in a moment he hauled her up, stripped her knickers down her legs, and helped her mount him in a single stroke.

"Better?' She held at his shoulders, her nails digging in a moment.

"Much." He breathed and surged up to kiss her again.

Even with the baby between them, a concern John always found a way around, they moved together. Anna wondered, for a moment, if John had not maneuvered them to the sofa, if they could have managed against the door. Like they had before the wedding. But when John thrust deeply inside her there was no time to think about anything but the sounds they made. Sounds that drove Anna faster and more furiously against her husband.

He met each one of her rocks with a thrust and her rolls with a withdrawal. Skills honed through their experience together left Anna practically giddy with pleasure as it raced through her blood. The blood pumping twice as fast and twice as much through her body.

Blood that left her sensitive on the breasts John insisted on taking into his mouth or molding with his hands. Blood that pooled where his fingers flicked and pressed while the nerves at her clit flashed and sparked like jagged lightning. Blood that flushed the line of her cheekbones, swelled her folds around John, and contributed to the heat that forced her breathing faster each time she recognized the sounds of their slick slide together or heard the snap of their skin meeting.

John's fingers and body did not tire as hers did and he continued working over her until Anna almost bit through her lip trying to stop herself making enough noise to disturb the entire household. She contained herself enough to whimper into John's neck and then sigh with him as he finished inside her. They held one another close through the end and only shifted enough to lay John on his back with Anna still on top of him.

She idly stroked over his chest, running her fingers in nonsensical patterns through the hair there before her thought returned. "John?"

"Hm?" He titled his head, adjusting at the neck to look at her as she raised her head to rest on her hands.

"Would you have tried to take me against the door?"

"I think, in your current condition, that might not be advisable." His hand moved down to her abdomen again, holding protectively over where their child grew. "And I don't know if I could make it safe."

"You don't think you could lift me?"

"You're nothing but a feather," John soothed, kissing her temple before brushing hair from her face. "The worry is that it would strain your back and I don't know how that might hurt the baby."

"You mean your future heir?"

"It could still be a girl." John insisted but Anna quieted him with a kiss.

"I'm sure you want that but…" Anna pushed herself up a bit more. "I don't think it's a girl."

"You know," John's fingers trailed from her abdomen to her folds, still swollen and wet from a few minutes before. "There are supposed to be ways to make sure."

"It's too late for that."

"This time." John turned them faster than Anna could comprehend it and her head rested on the armrest as John kissed over her body with his fingers delving deeper and deeper inside her. "But next time… I want to be well practiced."

Anna could only sob and dig her fingers into John's hair as he adored her breasts, covered her abdomen in kisses, and then spread his tongue over her folds. Each brush taking her higher, each suck deeper, and every motion of his fingers bringing her closer to the edge. And with his skill she toppled quickly.

He adjusted her legs and she wrapped them around his waist to pull him to her. John brought their lips together before joining them in a second. The air left her lungs in a rush and then filled slowly as John moved achingly slowly inside her.

There was no fury, no hurry, and no flurry. This was about the slow rise to pleasure between them. But John continued to forestall it, taking them to the edge before waiting long enough to hold it off for another second. Each time he did it Anna whined and he quieted her with a kiss. Quieted her until neither of them could take it any longer.

They came together, breathing hard into the skin of the person they loved most as they settled again on the sofa. John twisted them sideways, holding Anna close to them while his back pressed to the cushions behind him. Anna tucked herself under his chin and breathed in the scent of them together until she dozed off.

It felt like no time at all but something had Anna blinking her eyes open. John shifted and a smell invaded her nostrils. Something wrong that her brain could not quite place but her animal instincts immediately rose to hackles to attack… or from which she should run.

They both sat up, gathering their clothes in a hurry so John's shirt and waistcoat hung unbuttoned from his shoulders while Anna's sari wrapped just enough around her to keep her clad as they hurried through the door. The fright that greeted them only exacerbated their panic. A panic justified and compounded when a roar of flame greeted them.

John shut them both back in the study and hurried to the windows, throwing them open and offering Anna a hand. She shook her head, "James. Your mother."

"I'll get them but that fire's blocking us. I'll need to get in through the other side." John shook his hand toward her. "Please Anna. I need you and the baby safe. That' my first task right now. I'll find my mother and James, I promise."

Anna bit her lip but took John's hand as he helped her out the window and then followed. They dashed around the side of the house where Mrs. Hughes and Mr. Carson corralled the children into organized rows while other servants raced around to either join them or the bucket brigade hurrying into action. John kissed Anna's cheek and raced to help them, entering the fray with his shirt and waistcoat quickly discard on the ground.

She twisted her fingers, wringing her hands as she searched those running around the estate grounds for signs of her son or the Dowager. In a moment she stopped Mary, holding George close, and jogged toward them. Mary grabbed her hand and, in an extreme display of emotion, hugged Anna to her. It only took them a moment to separate as Mary gathered herself.

"I didn't see you getting ready for dinner and I feared the worst."

"It's… It's alright." Anna swallowed, "Are you and Master George safe?"

"We're alright." Mary tucked her son to her side. "I heard something and then I smelled smoke."

"You knew what it was?"

"My sister had a… mishap, when we were younger. Tried to burn her room around her once in a fit of passion about some man." Mary rolled her eyes, "Typical Edith. Always making trouble."

"Did you see James or the Dowager?"

Mary paused, "I heard raised voices from the Dowager's rooms but I've no idea what about. Perhaps an argument with her maid."

"The Dowager's never argued with Anjana." Anna held Mary's arm and twisted back to try and find Anjana in the clutch. "And James?"

"He left George's room with John, before those men came to ask questions." Mary shook her head, her forehead creasing. "I've not seen him Anna."

"He might…" Anna nodded, "He might be in our old house. I'll check there."

"Should I come with you?"

"No," Anna put Mary's hand on George. "Stay with your son. I'll be back."

She hurried across the grounds, avoiding getting in the way of the men hurrying to try and contain the flames before they ate too much of the house. Weaving between them, she found the path through the classrooms to her old home and hurried toward it. But sounds from inside gave her pause until a cry she recognized brought her through the door with all the energy she could muster.

James cowered on the sofa, clinging to Arjuna, while Thomas loomed over them. Anna met James's eyes but the moment he even turned his head toward his mother, Thomas turned as well. It took less than a second for him to change his target and round on Anna.

She reached for something, anything, to defend herself but to no avail. Thomas bore down on her and the ringing strike of his hand on her cheek and ear momentarily deafened her. The ringing had her grabbing for a wall to hold herself aloft as her sense of balance teetered. A distant voice called out and Anna tried to locate it but then a shot rang out.

Blinking, and still trying not to collapse with her inner ear telling her the walls were the floor, Anna saw Anjana in the doorway. Her red sari blossomed a deeper color until Anna realized what it was as Anjana stumbled forward. She caught the other woman, barely stopping them hitting the floor in a heap, and adjusted to try and find Thomas.

But the only person she could see was a shrieking Arjuna. The boy ran to his mother and Anna righted herself, holding to a wall to track through the house calling for James. She heard his voice and hurried toward it but tripped over the edge of the door. Catching herself on her hands and knees she saw Thomas, his hand wrapped like a vice around James's arm, dragging the boy away.

"No!" Anna tried to follow but tripped on her disheveled sari and rolled toward the stairs of the house. Her arms wrapped over her abdomen, to protect it, as she tried to tuck herself into a ball. But the strikes of pain over her body left her shaking and crying at the base of the stairs.

Trying to right herself, and falling to her knees, she grasped for the hands that came to her sides. But all she could wheeze at them, through her blurring eyes and her pain-wracked head, were instructions to find Anjana. To find her son. To stop Thomas.

Phrases she repeated until her vision blurred to black and she collapsed.


	20. Never Regret Loving You

Anna sat in the chair, Mary by her side, as the two pyres burned. John stepped back, holding the torch in his hand before stabbing it back into the brazier. The flames licked over the pier, flames flicking in the wind and the light rain, in a crude imitation of the flames that licked at the house behind them. Flames that left half of the house a smoking ruin and coated the remainder of it in the smell.

She took John's hand in hers as he returned to her side and pressed her lips to the back of it. He bent next to her, running a hand over her hair, and looked at her. "Do you need anything?"

"Just you close." Anna turned back to the pyres. "She didn't deserve to die like that. Neither of them did."

"Unfortunately for my mother, she's never liked Thomas and he knew that." John ground his teeth and Anna squeezed his hand tighter. "He killed her when she wouldn't give him what he wanted."

"And Anjana was just in the way." Anna flicked her eyes toward Arjuna, stone faced with drying tears on his cheeks as he stood by Mrs. Hughes. "Arjuna said she told him to find James. That she heard arguing in your mother's rooms and found her… Found her lying there."

"She didn't happen to tell Arjuna what the arguments were about, did she?"

Anna shook her head, "The fact the boy remembered anything when he was in shock is astounding to me. What he saw…"

"He's strong. He'll manage."

"He shouldn't have to manage." Anna blinked at tears that had nothing to do with the wafting smoke or the drizzle of rain. "Neither of them should've had to manage. I should've been with them."

"No," John crouched before Anna again, taking her hands in his. "This isn't your fault Anna. None of this is your fault."

"But I wasn't there, John." Anna whispered to him, "If I'd been then there James wouldn't have run to our old house because he was afraid of the fire. He and I would've been out here, with everyone else. He's gone because I was thinking about myself and not him."

"How were you to know?" John pressed and Anna looked away. He shook her hands and she turned back to him. "How were you to know what he planned?" How would you've prepared for it? He struck by surprise, Anna. No one was ready for it."

"We should've suspected something."

"Then it's on me, Anna, not you." John ground his teeth. "It should've… I should've protected you. I should've protected them. I should've…"

They quieted as a peel of thunder rumbled through the sky and the rain increased. The bodies, now burning with fires high, were unaffected by the rain as it splattered and doused the gathered mourners. Everyone covered their heads and sought cover in the house while the rain lashed the windows and the coverings protecting what was left of the house not gutted by fire.

John pushed Anna's chair to the stairs of her old house and helped her up them so they could take cover on the porch. He left her on the swing there and retrieved the chair before it soaked in the rain to settle on the porch with them. Together they watched the other mourners huddling for shelter over the estate until the only sounds left were the fire on the pyres fighting against the torrent of rain.

"Trust rain to ruin what the fire didn't."

John snorted, taking Anna's hand. "It's just a house. Things, really, aren't what matter to us. Shouldn't matter to us."

"But they do." Anna shifted to face him. "They're what brought Thomas to our door. They're what brought all of this to our door."

"Would you have me give it all up to him?" John put his hand on Anna's belly. "We were lucky the baby wasn't hurt after what happened. That's enough for me. To have you, to the baby, James-"

"Would you give it all up for James?" Anna covered his hand with hers. "Would you give it all to him, if that's what he wanted?"

"If he wanted it before, absolutely. But now…" John waved his other hand toward the pyres. "He's killed people Anna. If he wanted anything before he'll not get it now. You and I both know that."

Anna nodded, "Where do you think he's gone?"

"Not out of Bombay." John pulled her closer to him, tucking her into his side. "Our trio of friends is sure of that. He's lost all of his friends and he's nowhere to go. That means he's still somewhere in the city and they'll find him."

"But will they find James?" Anna wiped at her eyes, "I can't lose him John. I won't lose him. Not after… I can't."

"I know." John kissed her forehead. "And I've got people searching everywhere. We'll find James, I pro-"

"Please don't promise me that." Anna tightened her fingers in John's jacket as sobs overtook her. "I couldn't… I couldn't bear to have that kind of hope."

"Then I promise I won't stop looking until I've found him."

"I do hope you'll excuse my interruption," John and Anna turned to see Mr. Talbot standing at the base of the steps, holding an umbrella over his head. "But I think I might be able to help with that."

"With what?" John stood, still holding one of Anna's hands with his. "Come here with more accusations?"

"Actually," Mr. Talbot pointed at the stairs before taking them. He closed his umbrella, shaking it out before pulling at his jacket. "I'm here with a possible solution to your problems."

"And what's that?"

"I've put together enough pieces and parts of this investigation to get the impression that your cousin has poked his finger in one too many pies." Mr. Talbot leaned back on the railing, stopping himself short of catching the drizzle of rain leaking off the roof. "Mr. Napier, at the recently deceased Mr. Crawley's request, did some digging into your cousins' financial situation in England and he was not impressed with it."

"Your point?"

"I believe your cousin was conspiring, with your first wife, to overturn you."

Anna held John's hand tighter and he broke contact with Mr. Talbot to look at her. "Mary suggested the same thing. When she got back to tell George. She told me her suspicions about Thomas."

"And Lady Mary was the helpful one who put me on the scent." Mr. Talbot flexed his jaw, "She wasn't overly pleased by my line of inquiry the last time we met but she had more than enough to say on this account."

"Words I hope you've taken to heart." Anna gave a little tug on John's arm and he sat back down next to her, putting his arm over her shoulders. "What else've you found that Mary hasn't already told me?"

"No offense meant, in any possible way, to Lady Mary but what she told you were her suspicions, I'm presenting facts."

"And what facts are those, Mr. Talbot." Anna pursed her lips as he smiled. "I do hope it's not something overly amusing."

"I can see why you and Lady Mary are friends. You're not one to suffer fools."

"I'm suffering you at the moment."

"Fair point." Mr. Talbot shifted in place. "What I can prove is that Mr. Barrow was here, in India, around the time the late Lady Wuthering died. I can also prove that they had dinner together that night and she left in rather a state afterward."

"Everyone told me my wife was attacked by robbers after she got herself drunk." John frowned and Mr. Talbot nodded.

"She left the dinner and did exactly what the reports say. Since the original investigators were more interested in the events immediately prior, they didn't investigate her dinner."

"But you did?"

"I had reason to where they didn't." Mr. Talbot cleared his throat, "Further, I traced he and Ms. O'Brien's connection to the night you tried to send him back to England. Apparently they got on quite well and he stayed in India as her… aide, we believe. We're not sure as to the details of his functional role in her office but that's how he got himself into the Embassy."

"Thomas was at the Embassy, the whole time?"

"That's what we believe, yes." Mr. Talbot waited before continuing. "As I dug further, I noted his pile of debts in England repeated their pattern here. His choice to join the Governor-General's tour was more one of desperation than actual necessity. In fact, the more people I consulted from the entourage all claim him to be a rather spoiled, petulant little pissant who did nothing but complain and cause a genuine nuisance of himself."

"Right up the point he murdered Matthew Crawley?" Anna pressed but Mr. Talbot shook his head.

"That we still couldn't prove, milady."

"But you're suspicious?"

"I am now." Mr. Talbot shifted his jaw. "I don't know what he argued with the Dowager Duchess about, Lord Wuthering, but I think he was hoping for money or something to settle the wolves circling his door."

"And he stole my child instead?" Anna held closer to John.

"I believe, for Mr. Barrow, events have spiraled out of control rather splendidly for him and he's not sure what to do now."

"You consider his burning my house to the ground, killing my mother, killing my mother's maid, and abducting my stepson 'splendid events'?"

"No. I think they're splendid for us."

John stood again, the tone in his voice bringing his fingers to clench into a fist. "You'd best explain yourself before I think about breaking your teeth."

"They're splendid for us because now he's trapped. Mr. Barrow's got nowhere to go. He's the only suspect now, out of friends, out of money, and out of options. That kind of man'll make decisions that expose him and make it easier for us to find him."

"He's a cornered animal, Mr. Talbot, and I don't know if you've ever tried to extract a snake from a corner but that's when they're most likely to lash out at someone." John shook his head, "Where he once might've demanded ransom for James, now he's got no other options but to-"

Anna voice caught and Mr. Talbot raised a hand. "It won't come to that, Lady Wuthering because there are other things he could offer for the boy."

"Such as?"

"England and India aren't safe for him but passage on a ship elsewhere is still an option." Mr. Talbot shrugged, "If you made a statement about being willing to offer him money, settle a debt, then he might trade the boy for whatever you'll give him and that'll be that."

"And you'll what, just let him go?"

Mr. Talbot snorted, "Of course not. We'll catch him where you agree to meet him. Then, when he believes he's safe, we'll arrest him."

"And how will you hold him?"

"We've got Lady Wuthering's testimony, little Arjuna's about the death of his mother, enough circumstantial evidence to say he was involved in the murder of Ms. O'Brien and possibly the Dowager Duchess as well as suspicion in terms of the late Lady Wuthering." Mr. Talbot shrugged, "It's a start, at the very least."

Anna turned to John and he squeezed her hand with a nod. "What do you need us to do so you can catch him?"

"Just your help, Lod Wuthering." Mr. Talbot nodded at Anna. "And my wishes on your speedy recovering, Lady Wuthering."

"Thank you, Mr. Talbot." John stood to go but Anna held his wrist. "Just a minute, please?"

He sat back down, holding up a finger to Mr. Talbot. The other man nodded and walked far enough away to give them privacy and seemed enthralled by the sight of the still-burning pyres as the rain eased to a steady drizzle again. John faced Anna, holding her hands with his. "What is it?"

"I want you to find my son." Anna swallowed, trying to keep her words steady as they threatened to break and crack in her throat. "I don't care what we have to give him or if he's got to go free. I don't care about Thomas Barrow. I only care about James and getting him back."

"I know."

"Will you promise me that?" Anna's eyes teared, blurring her view of John. "Will you promise me you'll bring our son home?"

John placed his hands carefully on Anna's cheeks and kissed her forehead. His thumb wiped carefully under her eyes to clear them of tears before he answered. "I promise I'll do everything I can to bring James back to you. Back to us."

"Thank you."

"There's no need to thank me, Anna." John kissed the backs of both of her hands as he stood. "I love you and I love James. I'd do this even if you hadn't asked it of me."

"You would?"

"I'd give Thomas the shirt off my back and everything else besides if I thought it could help at this point." John shrugged, "But this is what I can do, right now, and this is what I intend to do."

"Then go. The sooner you leave the sooner you both come safely back to me."

John nodded and hurried down the stairs, joining Mr. Talbot under the umbrella and hurrying away with him. Anna watched them go and then watched the pyres until they smoldered out. The last drops of the rain pattered and sizzled on the wood until there was nothing left but the billows of white smoke easing to gentle tendrils that floated away on the breeze. She barely even comprehended Mary standing at the base of the stairs.

"Do you need help back to the house?"

"What?" Anna blinked at her as Mary ascended the steps to join her on the seat. "I'm sorry, I was quite lost in thought there."

"I could tell." Mary took Anna's hand, holding it tightly. "For as much as I miss Matthew, I think it would've killed me more to lose George."

"You think so?"

Mary nodded. "We… We marry men who are good for us, if we're lucky, and men who are good to us if we're fortunate. In our class it's a bit more difficult to find a man who can do both but I was lucky."

"Yes you were."

"Almost not though." Mary tipped her head to the side a moment. "I had a chance, right before the wedding, where I thought I might turn him down."

"Why?"

"We were both being stubborn about something and I… I thought that I wanted a man I could walk all over until someone reminded me that good men aren't like carriages in London." Anna frowned and Mary hurried to explain, "There's no guarantee of another one along in ten minutes."

"Oh."

"So I married Matthew. I love Matthew… _loved_ … Do I say that now that he's gone or can I still consider myself in love with a dead man?"

Anna gave a little smile and squeezed Mary's hand in return. "I think you'll always be in love with him. Dead or not he's not gone."

"Well, anyway," Mary wiped hastily at her eyes. "I love Matthew and I miss him terribly but I think it would've hurt more if we'd lost George instead."

"Why?"

"George is both of us. He's that mixture of us that we made. Our conscious effort to bring life into the world. He's more than just our child, he's our contribution to the world and that's something rather special." Mary sighed, "Losing Matthew was like losing a part of myself but if we'd lost George it would've been like losing both of ourselves. I don't think we would've survived that kind of torment."

"I hope you're not suggesting that I'm going to lose James."

"Absolutely not." Mary sniffed, "I may not think highly of Mr. Talbot-"

"I'm honestly surprised you think anything of him at all."

Mary shrugged, "People can cool off once they've had a moment to think."

"Yes they can." Anna sighed, "James isn't like George."

"No, but he's Lord Wuthering's son all the same. He's as much his as yours, even if he shares none of his biology." Mary smiled, "In fact, he might be more Lord Wuthering's than yours because he chose James. He wanted James as his own and that is a rare feat for anyone."

"My husband's a rare man."

"Indeed." Mary frowned, "Did he… Perhaps not."

"What?" Mary shook her head but Anna prodded her to continue. "What?"

"Did he keep any of the late Lady Wuthering's things?"

"I believe he gave most of the dresses and clothing away, sold any of the gaudy ornaments she bought herself, and the rest of it he… He put in the attic." Anna shrugged, "He's tried to locate her family but they didn't respond to any of his letters about her personal effects."

"Then perhaps they're still there."

"What?"

"The letters."

Anna rolled her eyes, "I'm not sure this is the time for that."

"It's the perfect time for it." Mary found Anna's chair and carried it down the stairs before returning to Anna's side. "Come on. It'll give us something to do while we wait for your husband to get back."

"Fine." Anna took Mary's hand and they managed her down the stairs together. "Although part of me is in shock that you're playing nursemaid."

"It's only temporary, I promise. I've not taken leave of all of my senses."

They went into the house and, with some maneuvering, managed to get to the attic. Anna held onto the wall, moving slowly around the space as Mary avoided the burned spots on the floor. Wherever sections of the floor groaned, they paused and searched for another route until they found where Vera's things sat.

Mary snorted, "Of course her things were completely untouched by the fire."

"If you believe Mrs. Hughes then the Devil can't be harmed by fire." Anna eased herself closer and sat on the lid of a trunk. "But all of her personal effects were kept in those two trunks there."

"What about that trunk?" Mary pointed to another close to where Anna sat. "Is that hers as well?"

"No," Anna frowned at it, leaning over to flip the latch and open it. "Huh… It's Thomas's things."

"You kept his things?"

"When he left… in rather a hurry, John packed his things to send him. But when we got word he wasn't in England…"

"Saves on postage I guess."

"Yes." Anna scooted over the edge of her trunk and rummaged through the contents of the trunk as Mary opened hers. "We should be done with the other mourners you know. Or I should, at least."

"Or addressing the burned-out husk of your house or the fact that you just lost your mother-in-law and a friend." Mary pushed something in the trunk aside. "There are many things you could be doing right now. Many things we should be doing right now. But, right now, we're making a choice."

"I don't know why I let you talk me into this." Anna shifted through Thomas's things and then paused, "Mary?"

"What?" Mary's arm was buried to the shoulder in her trunk as she turned to face Anna. "Did you find something?"

Anna pulled out a packet of letters and a signed form. "I think this one might interest you."

Mary let the contents of her trunk drop and reached out a hand to take the form. "It's an animal…" Her face fell and she blinked at the paper. "He purchased a snake while he was here."

"I think we can safely assume he was behind Matthew's death." Anna hefted the letters, examining them. "And all of these have Vera's address on them."

"Then," Mary handed the form back to Anna before rummaging around in the other trunk to retrieve a handful of letters of her own. "I think we've got both sides of the coin here."

"I think we do."

They closed the trunks and managed their way back to the study. A few of the mourners, those still left after the rain, milled around the space before offering their condolences to Anna. She handed the letters and paper to Mary so she could address them for her chair as Mrs. Hughes came to push it around and Arjuna stood by her side, following them like a lost puppy seeking its mother.

Anna held his hand and took him on her lap before insisting Mrs. Hughes take some rest for herself. "It's not too much for me to just sit here awhile."

"I don't doubt it, milady, but…" Mrs. Hughes teethed her lip. "I'm just wondering what'll become of all of us."

"You're not the only one wondering that, Mrs. Hughes." Anna patted her hand and turned to Arjuna. "Would you like to go with Mrs. Hughes and eat something?"

He nodded and left her, taking Mrs. Hughes's hand to leave the room. The final visitors eventually petered to nothing, leaving only Anna and Mary in the room with George asleep on the far sofa. Anna rolled her wheels to the window and noted the groundskeepers already dissembling the pyres and removing all evidence of the funeral while others set to work trying to clean and sort the wreckage of the house.

"I think we've found our answer." Anna turned, working her chair around to roll over to the desk where Mary laid all the letters in order. "It seems I was right."

"Something I'm sure you won't mind telling me a few more times before all of this is done." Anna pointed at the letters. "What've you found?"

"Mr. Barrow and the late Lady Wuthering had worked out a scheme to publicly shame Lord Wuthering. Similar to the one she mentioned in the letter I gave you, they wanted to accuse him of violence toward his wife and then she could divorce him on grounds of bodily harm and abuse. It would leave him a pariah and he'd die without an heir."

"Other than Thomas."

"Right." Mary held up a few of the letters. "These are all postmarked as if from England but they bear Indian postage, meaning he sent them from India to India by way of England."

"To do what?"

"Throw someone off the scent I'd guess." Mary let her fingers trip over a few of them. "He talks about have some debts piling up in England, as we suspected, and how unhappy he is with the late Lady Wuthering's suggestion that she might be pregnant."

"I would've thought Vera might've told John about the pregnancy, if she wanted to keep the baby."

"I don't get the feeling she wanted to keep the baby." Mary pointed to two of the letters. "She talks about trying to get rid of it but that it, and I quote, 'was a persistent bugger'."

"How very charming."

"She was never one for decorum or politeness." Mary shuddered, "It's not right, to speak ill of the dead, but she was something else. Like something Biblical in all the wrong ways."

"Does Thomas say anything else?"

"He's got a letter here, address to Duke Crowborough," Mary snorted and then composed herself, "Where he says that Vera lost the baby and the plan would continue as originally conceived but…"

"But?"

"It's odd." Mary frowned, biting the inside of her cheek. "It's as if he knew she lost it but he doesn't say it like conversation. He says it almost like a confession. And there are other odd phrases too."

"What kind of odd?"

"The kind that makes me think she only told him this with her dying breath." Mary faced Anna, "Might it be too far outside the realms of possibility to suggest that Vera was the first in a line of individuals he's eliminated to take what he believes belongs to him?"

"No." Anna shook her head, "I don't think it'd be odd at all."

Silence reigned after that. Mary piled up the letters, with the animal purchase form, and set them to the side before taking up the sofa with George. The two of them fell asleep as Mrs. Hughes and Arjuna returned but they only took the other sofa in the room before falling asleep themselves. Anna remained in her chair, stroking her finger along the edge of it as the servants entered to light the lamps in the corners of the room so she would not sit in darkness. But otherwise she was alone until the sound of the front door alerted her.

Everyone in the room jerked awake, the two boys moaning a bit about it but the women all sitting on the edge of their seats in anticipation. The doors to the study opened and had Anna not been sitting in a chair she might have collapsed to the ground in relief. James pelted for her and she flung her arms wide to receive him. John joined her a moment later and she pulled him into the hug as well.

Their tears all mingled and mixed, their sorrow and joy compounding until the emotion burst from them in a steady stream. One that did not abate for some time. Even when it did they remained locked in an embrace until Anna detected James's steady breathing on her shoulder and a slight cramp to her arm.

She lifted her hand to John's face, kissing him. "Thank you. Thank you for bringing him back to me."

"I couldn't do anything less." John nodded toward where Mary and Mr. Talbot remained in conversation, she handing over the letters. "I believe she's solving our other problems at the moment."

"She is." Anna held John closer, burying her face in his neck. "Sometimes I wonder if you regret marrying me."

"Why would you say that?"

Anna ran her thumb along the bone in his cheek. "Because if I weren't here, none of this would've happened. You must regret the loss of your peace and-"

"I don't regret it." John cut her off. "I should, perhaps, but I don't. I could never regret it."

"Why?"

"Because no man could regret loving as I love you." He kissed her. "And I love you, Anna May Smith Bates, from this day until my last day. However, whatever, whenever… and everything in between."


	21. Good to Dream Again

Anna sighed, leaning back against John in the tub. "I didn't realize the Embassy had a tub this large."

"I had it imported for us."

"Did you?" She giggled and put her hand behind her to stroke his cheek while his hand ran over her abdomen. "How generous."

"I couldn't fit into your tub so I needed to get a new one." He ran his hand along the edge of the tub, finding hers to interlace their fingers. "Although this house is a tighter fit all around."

"James and I liked it when we lived here." Anna turned her face enough to kiss John's cheek. "And I like sharing it with you now."

"What about everyone else?" John adjusted behind her, the hand not holding hers continuing to run over her expanding belly. "We've got to find a place for them."

"Once the house is finished then they can take it back."

"I mean…" John sighed, kissing Anna's hair. "Long term."

Anna shifted, sitting awkwardly sideways to hold his gaze. "How long term?"

"The rest of our lives." John released her hand, running a finger along her arm to her shoulder. "We can't stay in India Anna."

"Why not?"

"It's not made for us anymore." John pulled his hand over his face, sighing. "I came here to get Vera away from England and all the ways she could get us into trouble there and it just made a mess here. Thomas came and made an even bigger mess until I'm left with the reality that all this would've been solved if I confronted the problems I had in England."

"You feel like India is where you came to run away?"

"Yes." John pulled Anna back to him, wrapping his arms around her as the water sloshed toward the sides of the tub. "I can't run from that anymore."

"But now all of our problems are here. Our lives are here." Anna took his hand back with hers, holding it diagonally across her chest and resting her cheek on his forearm. "Wouldn't leaving now be running from our problems all over again?"

"No. We'll stay, finish what we started here, and then leave." John's chest expanded against her back and Anna rose with it before falling back as he sighed. "I've got responsibilities there that I've been putting off for far too long."

"What about our responsibilities here?"

"We could leave them in good hands." John's lips pressed to her temple. "Maybe I'm just being stupid. The house'll be finished and we can-"

"No." Anna tightened her grip on his hand, shaking her head. "We need to consider this."

"We do?"

"Of course." Anna kissed the back of his hand. "If it's a concern to you then it's a concern to me and I want… I want to help you find a solution to this."

"It won't be easy."

"For better for worse, remember? I promised that at our wedding." Anna giggled and then gasped when John's hand slipped from her abdomen to her nerves. "And this… This is the better part."

"I should hope so." John murmured into her neck, holding her closer to him as his fingers teased lower to run along the seam. "We've not had much time for this lately."

"That's what happens when your mad half-brother decides to burn the house down and kidnap a child." Anna closed her eyes, trying to lose herself in the gentle sensations of John's fingers on her. "It distracts from the important things."

"But it shouldn't." John kissed under her jaw, spreading his legs a bit more to bring her closer to him. "I'm sorry we've not shared as much lately."

"We've shared plenty." Anna tried to laugh but her voice caught in her throat as John's fingers entered her. "My bed, for instance."

"Just for sleeping." His response vibrated against her throat. "Like everything else in this house I wanted to desecrate with us but we've only used for functional necessities."

"I'm sure having a single sofa makes it a bit difficult to engage carnally there." Anna's free hand joined John's at her center while the rings on their left hands clinked together then they interlaced their fingers again. "Or any other surface of the house when James could walk in at any second."

"That would dampen the moment." John kissed across her shoulders, pressing his thumb to her center while her fingers encircled his wrist to guide those motions. "Something we'll have to think about for this little one."

"Baby's coming sooner than you think." Anna's hips bucked as John hit the spot inside her his fingers seemed desperate to find. "There, it's right there."

"I'll take good care of it." He soothed against her ear. "Just let me tend these gardens for you and relax."

"How can I when you're driving me mad with pleasure?" Anna forced her eyes open, catching sight of John's eyes in the mirror on the far wall. "I'm practically vibrating with it."

"Then I'm close to my goal." He added another finger and sucked the spot at her neck while bending his elbow so their interlaced hands could cover one of her breasts. "Do you still touch yourself?"

"What?" Anna could hardly focus as John's assault on her senses continued and the smolder in his expression in the mirror did not abate.

"You showed me, before our wedding, how you touch yourself."

"I learned it from you."

"Do you still do it?" His teeth nipped at her earlobe and then adjusted them so their mouths could almost meet. "Did you do it before I used my fingers on you that first time, in the garden? Did you used to touch yourself and think of me?"

"Only once." She ghosted her lips over his. "When I thought I'd never have you I promised myself just one time. I'd think about what it would be like and then never consider it again."

"Then you has far more patience and self-control than I did." John brushed his lips over her cheek. "I thought of you so many times. I wanted you with everything I had in me. And then, when we were together…"

"What?"

"It was better than I imagined."

Anna took John's lips and came in the same moment.

His fingers guided her through the climax, bringing her back down slowly until she sagged against him. But when his fingers left hers, and he shifted his legs slightly, Anna blinked her hazing eyes. Blinked to meet the devious grin of his in the mirror before he lifted her at the hips to bring her wet folds over him. John supported her there, running the head just through her folds until she keened and thrust herself down onto him.

The rumbling groan quivered through his chest and into her. John kept his hands at her waist and manipulated them, using the shunt of his hips into her to maintain a motion restricted by their position and the tub itself but still managing to strike all the right places inside her. The places that had her sighing and grabbing for the sides of the tub.

John rolled his hips against hers, bringing her hips to snap wetly in the water against his, and trusted the grip of one hand on her before reaching the other across her body to manipulate her breasts. Anna cried out, the growth of her breasts and the increased sensitivity of pregnancy making each of his touches like lightning to her skin. And when he tweaked one of her nipples before kneading and massaging her skin, Anna keened. Her grip tightened on the side of the tub so her rings clacked on the metal while her other hand delved between them.

Her fingers ran over her tender nerves, sparking them back to life, and dabbled between them to find the hanging weight between his legs. Anna met his darkened gaze in the mirror and squeezed a moment before starting her assault on him until he scrunched his eyes closed. But the frenzy took over him then and all Anna could do was try and bring herself along with him.

A flurry of appendages had water escaping the edge of the tub but left them both sobbing and sighing their finishes. John's mouth laid a set of kisses over her shoulders and neck until he could take her mouth again. Their hands fluttered for a hold on one another until they managed the awkward rest of Anna on John's left leg.

When the kiss broke, their grins infectious and self-perpetuating, Anna pulled John's hand under the water to rest on her abdomen. His eyes blew wide when the shift of life under her skin kicked or bumped against his hand. And it almost broke her heart to see the tears in his eyes as he waited for the next movement.

"Does this happen often?"

"Often enough." Anna kissed him again before lifting herself from the tub as slowly as she could safely manage. "Sometimes Baby keeps me up at night kicking against my ribcage or my backbone but it passes when Baby settles."

"I'll guess that what we just did," John lifted himself from the tub and retrieved one of the towels to wrap around Anna. "Didn't settle Baby too much."

"Not at all." Anna went onto her tiptoes to kiss John, her hand holding herself steady on his chest. "But I don't mind. I'm not trying to sleep at the moment."

"Then we shouldn't ever try to engage in bed?"

"I'm not trying to sleep then, either." Anna shook her head at him, drying herself as she faced the mirror. "And if we do go to England, I insist that all of our baths are in tubs that large."

"Did milady like it?" John came behind her, wagging his eyebrows at her as he bent to kiss her.

"I usually like any chance I have to be with you." Anna eyed her hair in the mirror and set to brushing it back before John extracted the brush from her hands. "Are you an expert in lady's hair, Mr. Bates?"

"No, but I can brush it." He combed through her hair slowly, careful of curls and tangles. "When I was growing up in England, we had horses and I'd brush them after a ride."

"They made you brush them?"

"The grooms insisted." John moved through her hair, Anna sighing in contentment as the motions sent shivers through her. "Said it taught you appreciation for the beasts bearing you."

"James loved horses. Loves elephants just as much and wants to own one so he can ride it everywhere one day."

"Maybe he will." John met Anna's eyes in the mirror. "Do you think we should stay here? Even after everything that's happened?"

"I think Mary's right and you might, one day, be made Viceroy of India."

"And what of my obligations back in England?" John continued to another section of her hair. "I've got estates, lands, and titles there that demand my presence. And if we're going to raise James there he needs to start sooner, rather than later, to integrate into society."

"We couldn't leave until after the baby was born anyway." Anna ran a towel-covered hand over her abdomen. "I wouldn't make the trip safely in that condition."

"We have to wait for the trial to conclude here all the same." John snorted, "It still defies all understanding that he'd be so stupid."

"Desperate people rarely make wise decisions." Anna titled her head to help John reach the last section of hair. "And his machinations ended in his own devise when he thought he was too clever for his own good."

"I'm just…" John set the brush down, his fingers moving through Anna's hair now to massage her scalp. "I didn't think he could hate me that much."

"We're not supposed to hate that much." Anna's breath hitched as John's free hand settled in a delicate manipulation of her breast. "What are you up to Mr. Bates?"

"The continued satisfaction of my wife." He crooned in her ear, never breaking eye contact with her in the mirror as he removed the towel from her body. "For the moment, I'm your willing slave, dedicated only to your pleasure and contentment."

Anna pressed herself into his hold and then contorted as his other hand left her hair to slide over her abdomen to her clit. His fingers flicked at it and Anna opened her legs to allow him better access. But when his kisses dotted down her back and his hand left her breasts to hold her hip, Anna gripped the vanity hard enough to dig ridges into her palms. Ridges that bit harder when John's tongue set to work on her folds.

There was no forgiveness to the tile floor but John did not stop lapping and licking at her until Anna came with a shriek. Her legs shook and her thighs trembled but John only paused long enough to stand. Anna seized his lips and he drove into her with a single thrust. It buried him so deeply they both took a moment just to breathe.

And then he moved.

The swift shunt of his hips, the sticky slap of skin as sweat beaded where water once was, and the slick slide of him into her filled Anna's senses. She brought her hands to her breasts to the pleased chorus of growls from John. And when that proved too little, her hand tried to replicate her earlier motions at her clit. His earlier motions at her clit.

But he stole every thought from her in an instant. Each piston of his hips bringing them together shattered her plans. Her fingers stuttered and fumbled to try and find the pleasure she so desperately sought but when John's fingers joined hers they found it together. They came with stuttering groans that had John sagging toward her and Anna pressing her hands even closer to the edge of the vanity.

When they recovered, John removing Anna's hands to take them delicately in his own and massage them back to life, Anna kissed John gently. "I think we need to go back to England too."

"What?"

"You're right. We can't stay here, with all the dark clouds this business has brought us, and we need to build a real home for our children." Anna tucked herself close to him and John wrapped them both in a towel as if to wipe away the sweat. "When the trial is over and the baby's fit enough to travel, we'll go back to England."

"Alright." John kissed her forehead, "I'll start making the arrangements.

And start they did.

James was livid in the beginning. He ranted and railed about having left England, how it was not his home, and then went off into a tirade of Hindi that Anna could barely follow before finally calming himself in the corner of his room. She crossed to him, reaching for his hand, and tried not to let the sting show when he jerked himself free of her grip.

"It's not for at least a year, James. We've got time to enjoy here."

"But not forever."

"Nothing's forever."

James pouted, deep lines gouging themselves in his forehead. "Is this because that man kidnapped me?"

"Partially but also because you're father's got interests in England he needs to look after now. Especially with you and the baby to keep in mind."

"He's been here for long enough. Why not just raise us here?" James threw out his arm, motioning in the general direction of the house Mrs. Hughes lived in on the estate. "If Arjuna can stay with Mrs. Hughes and Mr. Carson then why can't I?"

"Because unlike Arjuna, you've a mother and father. Arjuna's no one but Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes. Besides, he's Indian."

"I could be Indian."

Anna tried not to laugh when James's sincerity bled through on his face. "But you're not. You're British and no matter how much you love it here, or how well you speak the language, or how much you want to Indian, you're not. You can't be."

"Why does Lord John have to leave?"

"Because…" Anna sighed, "Because his cousin made it impossible for him to stay here. If we do then we'll have to go around India with everyone knowing that the horrible things that happened to us here happened."

"And they won't know that in England?"

"It's not gossip there the way it is here." Anna finally managed to take James's hand. "And John's not the same person he was. Too many of the people he cares about died here. It's painful for him to stay."

"But if we go back to England…" James met his mother's eyes, "Don't we go back to the same place we left because you had me and I didn't have a father?"

"No, we're going somewhere else." Anna put a hand to her abdomen. "And it's different now. You've a father, you've a title, I've got a title, and there's another baby on the way. We're different people than we were."

"So we're going back to England because everyone's tired of running away from whatever made them leave?"

Anna froze, her mouth half open at her son before she swallowed and nodded. "That's exactly right."

"Then I can stay. I didn't run away form England and I've not got anything here that gives me pain."

"Maybe one day you'll come back."

"You won't let me stay?"

"I'm not leaving you here unsupervised."

"But I could live with Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes and Arjuna and-"

"No, James." Anna worked herself to her feet. "We're going back to England and that's final."

"Then we're just running away again." James stood quickly and pointed a shaking finger at Anna. "It's just running from one place to the next. First here, from England, and now back to England from here."

"It's not like that now James."

"But we've got other things to do here."

Anna sighed, "We've a year, James. One more year here and then we're going home to England."

"This is my home. I don't care about England."

"You'll have to, since you're going to help people run it one day." Anna nodded at him, "We're rebuilding the estate and finding a way to run the schools but once the baby's fit to travel we're going back."

James did not speak to her for a week beyond one-syllable responses and his papers in class. Mrs. Harding and Mrs. Hughes took the news better than James did and even accepted the positions John offered them to continue running the homes and schools John built in the area. Even Arjuna seemed happy with his adopted parents and the chance to stay on the estate he called home.

But the work continued. So late that one evening, closer to Anna's due date than most felt was safe to have her continuing to walk around on her own, she found him in the little study of her small house. Even with the estate almost finished with the reconstruction and renovation they stayed in the house. In John's words it was 'not to risk getting too attached before we move' but Anna was sure the idea of reentering a house were so many mistakes lay hand-in-hand with death rubbed him the wrong way.

Her knock on the door was gentle and she entered the room with barely a sound. John looked up from his work and almost cracked his hip on the desk in his hurry to stand up and come to her. Anna waved down his worry but he did not stop fussing until she sat on a chair near the desk.

"Are you alright?"

"I was until I realized my husband hadn't come to bed and this would be the third night in a row that he's burned the candle at both ends."

"Would you have me any different?"

"No." She grinned at him, taking his hand as he stood near her. "What are you doing in here so late? It's not as if it won't wait until the morning."

"It might not but…" John shrugged, "It's about the estate management and with Matthew no longer working as my solicitor I had to revert to a man Robert recommended and… I don't like him as much. He's a bit stuffier than I prefer and he's slow moving."

"So you're doing all the work yourself?"

"Seemed safer." John put his hand to her cheek. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." Anna assured him, her eyes flicking to the desk before she bit her lip. "In fact, I know a way you could make me feel even more fine."

"How?"

"By helping me make that desk a little more yours." Anna stood and maneuvered to the edge of the desk, pressing her weight on it to test the strength of the legs. "What's this made out of?"

"Oak, I think. It was imported."

"Then we'll definitely be bringing this back with us." Anna nodded at the edge, "Care to help me onto it?"

"Why?"

"Because I want you to take me on this desk, Mr. Bates."

"Anna, in your condition-"

"In any condition but this is where I am now." Anna patted the wood. "We had that table in your library once…. With all the lawyers right outside the door."

"This is different." John helped Anna onto the edge and made her as comfortable as possible on the surface of the desk that did not even squeak. "Our possible listening ears could come at any moment."

"That, I highly doubt."

"Even so." John chided but his hand skated up the inside of her thigh all the same. "What have we here?"

Anna grinned, her hands looping around his neck. "Did you find something Mr. Bates?"

"It's more what I didn't find." His finger drifted over her clit and then down the length of her. "My lovely wife seems to've forgotten to wear her undergarments outside the bedroom."

"Only if you think I came here without a strategy." Anna adjusted her hips as John rolled the ends of her nightgown up over her hips.

"And what strategy was that?"

"That if there were fewer obstructions you'd take me."

"You're probably right." John put his lips over hers, "But, if you wanted it, I'd take you anyway."

"I do want."

"Then your wish if my command." His fingers entered her as their lips met.

And John proved his words true. With his fingers working inside her and his tongue exploring her mouth thoroughly, Anna could do nothing but roll with the gentle climax his dedicated and focused motions wrought in her. And when he dragged a chair closer to her spread legs, Anna held the back of the desk to keep herself upright under the assault of his tongue while his hands explored under her nightgown to find her breasts. An act that sent her over the edge a second time.

Even when John finally entered her, moving slowly and surely to keep them calm and collected, his mouth oscillated between hers and her breasts through her nightgown. The fabric dampened from his mouth, rubbing across her fritzing nerves and ever-more sensitized skin, left her gasping and sobbing in pleasure as John brought her to the edge a third time. When he followed himself, still moving with all the aching dedication of a concerned husband and father, Anna could only merge their mouths together and seek out the last tastes of her there.

Those memories sustained her through the birth and subsequent two months until they could do more in bed than simply wrap up in one another's arms for an hour or two before the baby bawled and wailed for something. And despite their haggard appearances, their general exhaustion, and the strain on their senses, they managed through until the baby slept peacefully. Peacefully enough that, before they left for England, John insisted on the christening.

"This is his home, just as it was ours, and a part of it'll always stay with him this way." John held the boy close to him, rocking slowly. "Maybe next time we'll have a girl."

"Maybe." Anna lay back against the pillows. "Now put him down and come and get sleep. Day after tomorrow'll be nothing but packing and loading onto the ship. I don't want you exhausted for that."

John kissed the baby's head one final time before resting him in the cradle and crawling into bed with Anna. "It's lucky Lady Mary's coming with us or we might've had to pry James away from Mrs. Hughes."

"I gave him months to prepare for this and he's still upset." Anna cuddled closer to John. "He was right and I had told him a year but… Nine months is practically a year."

"You carried a baby for that long so I'll bow to your superior knowledge on the subject." John tightened his arm around her. "George'll be good company for him on the ship. They'll get into just enough trouble to drive us all mad but not enough to get conscripted into the British Navy."

"If he's a terror I'll sell him myself." Anna laughed against John, holding him tight for a moment before releasing. "I guess it's a new start for all of us. Mrs. Hughes and Mr. Carson here, with the estates. Gwen with the schools. And now Mary and George back in England with us."

"Don't forget Mr. Talbot."

"Who could forget," Anna paused to laugh, "That Mr. Talbot's going with them as 'security' in case their 'safety' is threatened."

"You laugh-"

"I do."

"You laugh but ships are dangerous places for single women and children."

Anna nodded, "Don't I know it."

"I'm sorry darling." John tipped his head to her, "Did I remind you-"

"No," She patted his chest. "Just rest and we'll confront it all in the morning."

After the christening, of John Harrison Bates, future Duke of Kenwick and Lord of Moorland, North Orkney, and West Galway, they were on their way. James almost forgot all about how much he did not want to leave India when he and George could explore every nook and cranny of the ship. And managed to give John and Anna enough time to lock their cabin door for an afternoon.

Even with the humidity at sea, the heat of the stifling cabin with the window cracked to let in the weak breeze, Anna attacked John. His hesitancy, especially after the birth, drove her mad until it was all she could do not to climb atop him in public and work them both into a frenzy. But with a locked cabin door, their two sons in the care of someone else for awhile, she could successfully seduce him.

And she did.

He sat at the table, completely unaware, as she stripped herself to nothing in front of him. When John finally looked up from whatever documents he might send in either direction at the next port they reached, his eyes went wide and then his pupils took over his entire eyes. It was all Anna could do not to laugh and spoil the moment when he almost strangled himself getting his tie off his neck. But then his lips were on hers.

Their bunk was too small and the wall threatened splinters, but with Anna's hands holding the table John stepped in behind her. His hands ravaged her, leaving her crying out and whimpering for his touches to increase, to hasten, and to strike those places where she desperately needed her. But John could tease as well and he took his time tracing over her skin as if trying to remember it anew.

"Do you remember the library Anna?" He whispered in her ear, his fingers keeping her on the edge but not allowing her to fall over. "When you put your mouth around me for the first time?"

"Yes."

"Do you remember what I did after that?"

Anna squeezed her eyes closed and gripped the table harder. "Yes."

"I'm going to do it now."

"Please do."

John drove into her, bending Anna over the table, and started with the tauntingly slow motions he used as their foreplay. But when Anna dug her nails into his thigh, or reached around for his hanging sack, or even raked her fingers over the flesh of his ass, he succumbed to her bids for "harder, faster, deeper" until the table scraped over the floor. The heat of the room, the possibility of those in the cabins next to them hearing, or even the chance that the lock would not hold and anyone would see them did not matter. Anna only had time to revel in the feel of her husband driving into her as her body accustomed to the sensations she missed for so many weeks. And he only had time to bow to your demands.

They came together, gasping for air in the stuffy cabin, and worked onto the bunk. The tight fit kept them together so they could not cool as they hoped but, eventually, they dozed in the waning heat of the space. Anna's fingers traced over his face, kissing his lips before she fell asleep.


	22. Epilogue: As I Have Loved You

_My mother always said, "Anna, never burn a bridge because you never know when you may need to use it to cross somewhere again."_

 _She was right._

 _When I returned to England one of the first things I did was go to her grave and tell her that. And tell her all the good things too. I couldn't leave those out. I shouldn't leave those out._

 _The good things are what made it all worthwhile._

 _I left England with a baby, no husband, a horrible trail of gossip and the vague promise of a life in a country so far away I could barely comprehend that I would circle the globe to get there. I took my child, the child I didn't know I wanted until they placed him in my arms, and crossed myself while thinking I would probably die._

 _But perhaps that was better than what I was leaving._

 _And it was. Every gritty, uncomfortable, harrowing moment of it was better than what I left. For what is life without opposition? What is pain without the promise of pleasure? And what was experience but the teacher that had me ready to wait for the joys that now fill my days?_

 _My John. The John who gave me a home in a new land. The John would gave me a job when he owed me nothing. The John who loved me when he was not supposed to and continued loving me until he could for the world to see. The John who taught me how to love. The John who loved my son, a boy who was not his, and gave him a future. The John who gave my son a title, a home, and a chance in a world that otherwise would've rejected him. The John who loved me… and gave me another son._

 _That John's different. He's got his father's hair and brooding nature. But he laughs easily, smiles like me, and has my eyes. His father's proud of those eyes. The eyes all of our children have. The eyes, he says, that he fell in love with first._

 _I boarded a boat to a foreign land to give my son a better life. And now we give both of our sons, and our two daughters, a better life together. We live in the happiness we wrought together through hardship, pain, and suffering to find the joy we now share. The joy he gave me._

 _Even though our family's grown now and James returned to India to work at the Embassy with his commission, I still feel it. The thrill I had when I first met John. The thrill he gave me as we loved in secret, in the open, and for the rest of our lives. The thrill of watching our children grow and take on the world before them with confidence and joy because John gave it to me and I could now give it to them._

 _I traveled to India to find a world far from my own because mine had become a stranger to me. A world where no one looked twice at us outside of our skin. A world where we started anew and pretended, for awhile, we weren't the people who left England. Those people stayed in India, I think._

 _Other people came back to England in their place._

 _It was so far away. It wasn't anything I knew. And I liked it that way. But this life, the one that has me curled before a fire with the man I love most as our children live their best lives… that's the world I love._

 _And I like it better in every way._


End file.
